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Best Nicknames

What are the best nicknames you've come across in the Mob? My starters for 10:

A rather large Wren was affectionately known as 'Buttercup.' She thought that this was sweet but never realised the name originated from the fact that, when going through a kidney hatch, she could only get one buttock-up at a time! :lol:

The other (my personal fave) was for a METOC. This guy was the biggest Black-catter I've known - even used to try and tell the Skipper what's what. He was known as the 'Five-caster' - like a forecaster, but obviously one better! 8O

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My nicknames were as follows;

Wacko Jacko – obv. Reasons there

Action – Came back from a night out in pompie and decided that I was going to jump every bush, climb any tree, get stuck, fall out and instead of using my block’s door I used the window’s available.

JoJo – in reference to my middle name

Jeff – Something to do with changing initials round and a certain bootie :wink: best not to ask though!

Womble – because I used to go round asking if any one had seen the womble’s, whistle singing the theme tune (this could lead to my wacko nickname)

BJ – and no, not because of the dirty reason but my initials were, well, arrange in a provocative way 8O

I’ll get my coat now 8)


Lantern Swinger
GRAVEL BACK a wren at yeovilton used to like being shagged on gravel because it added to the sensations!!

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There was a lass I went through training with, nick named he Nails. Not because being a Jock she was hard as nails but because she linked scratching the feck out of any male’s back whilst doing the dirty business. And when I mean scratching, I mean scarring :wink:


War Hero
Beware anyone especially Canadians calling you “Kipper,â€
He may be smiling but the meaning is “Two faced b`stard, with no gutsâ€


Lantern Swinger
UncleAlbert said:
Beware anyone especially Canadians calling you “Kipper,â€
He may be smiling but the meaning is “Two faced b`stard, with no gutsâ€

The Aussies call us that - dates back to some obscure battle (I am sure that a Rum Ration member will enlighten me)


War Hero
We had a chef join up with us and he was called Bloodclot.He had a fecking huge spot which bled up his right nostril.when we all departed for part 2 training we went to Dryad a year later for the Olympiad and guess who was serving up!Bloddclot!And the fecker was still there!LOL


I was called Bogey and whilst I new every person with my surname was called that no one could tell me why


Lantern Swinger
When I joined up in the very late 70's we had a chef by the name of Batman his best mate was (and I kid not) was a lad called Robin with names like that they had to be best of mates. When I worked in Indusry we had an engineer that no-one liked (I suspect he didnt even like himself) who we called the SFF short for Short (coz he was) Fat (coz he was)Fcuker(coz he was)


In my current job as a plod we had a chief inspector who was known throughtout the force by the same name. Even the Chief Constable was heard to shout one day "Where is Testicle Ted"? Nobody quite knew where the name came from but it stuck. He's since moved to another force, perhaps to get away from the name.


Lantern Swinger
I knew a wren with the unfortunate nick name "Ping", because that was the noise the shovel must have made when it hit her face. She was also know as "Wnak sock" for obvious reason!


My personal favourite is 'Scaff' for someone with the name Holden.

We had one lad called Donkey (Bray) but we later changed it to PYRO which he thought was great until he found out it stood for P**ss's You Right Off.

Also had a lad we called Ring as his last name was Main but that soon got corrupted to Ring-Piece poor lad he never really got over that. 8O
Poor Wrens all ways get it. At a Scottish RNAS many a year ago was a WREN SA known at Myrtle the Turtle. Every time she was on her back she was fcuked.

We had a Very Very Senior CID Officer in a force not to far away away from the City of London who was known on a good day as Crazy Horse and on a bad day as TCP (That Cnut P****). He apparently thought it was cos TCP was a branded aniseptic and it was they way he cleared up villians. When his son joined the job he was known as "Funny Pony". Now I met him twice seemed a nice lad, must have taken after his Mum.

A Certain Wren in Guzz 92. was shagged on the pool table in Drake. Only thing she was a black lass, and yes you all got it? from that day on she was know as "Pot Black".


War Hero
Many many years ago on the Cygnet we had two jocks who were not adverse to the odd fight on most runs ashore.

In the end, the buffer nicknamed them "Rockall and Malin" on account of them being so flipping stormy.

I also know of a young Wren on a Guz ship who's real name was Zoe. For some strange reason she was nicknamed "Zoe Alfa" - not quite sure why? Better ask a few booties who were around at the time. ;-)


We had a guy with the surname Manhire who became known as "Rentboy".
There was a lad in Raleigh who's name rhymed with marijuana who was called "Spliff".
There was a guy with the surname De'ath, who inevitably got the moniker "Shitty".
And then there was "Cheesy" O'Nyans
"JFK" John F*cking Kn****
And a few common ones:

"Hairy" Mott

And then there are the unfortunate combinations of name, rate and branch.. :D

Leading Seaman (seaman) Seaman
MAA Bates
RO Bott
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