Being eaten alive by an animal.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by RonJeremy, Mar 2, 2009.

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    Here's a link to an interesting article concerning the extinction of the Sumatran Tiger. Apparently these 'lovable' stripey faced bstrds have been eating villagers and loggers who are encroaching on their territory. Now I don't want to start a debate over who is in the right over this because to be brutally honest I don't really give a flying fck wether they live or die (both villagers and tigers) but it got me to thinking about being eaten alive by an animal. Do you think there are some that would be worse than others (bears, sharks, crocodiles etc.)

    Answers on a postcard please...with your reasons why!

    My night mare would be by a Jack Russel or about 6 hamsters working as a team with a well co-ordinated effort......either of these would take for fcking ever and be really painful. At least a nobby or a fck off huge polar bear would do it quickly!
  2. A tortoise. That would be sh1t.
  3. Sort of been there, got trapped by a crocodillypig in the Imps and she gave me scabies. Sailed next day on patrol and never got treated as the POMA reckoned it was just a rash!! My sleeping bag marched itself off to laundry when we got back 8O
  4. I've had scabies and it's rubbish, I thought I'd never get to sleep again. I still think being eaten by a tortoise would be worse.
  5. That happened to me once...she was from Gosport...funny thing is, I went back for more.... :)
  6. As an add on, my oppo went with her oppo and got crabs, we had our own zoo in the fwd bunkspace and he sellotaped the crabs he caught onto his bunklight, the dirty tw*t :(
  7. One ant. Just the one.

    Or a fly. not only would it take forever, but can you imagine how annoying the continual buzzing would be after several hours?
  8. A team of insurance brokers versus a team of meerkats.

    Then you could compare the meerkats............
  9. I realise this is not an animal, but the sad, gruesome tale is factual.
    This is an old escalator in New York City. One of these things was
    trundling upwards with people on it, when the supporting structure
    at the top collapsed, creating a gap between the escalator "step"
    and the metal prong-comb affair that you step over to get of the
    thing. An elderly lady missed her footing at the top and started to
    get "fed through" the gap between step and prongs. The escalator
    motor had no cut-out button and the power of the thing continued
    to feed her through at the top - a bit at a time. It was stated that
    it took about 20 minutes for a Subway Cop to get the escalator
    stopped.....this was the length of time that the unfortunate soul
    was being nibbled through the gap that had been opened. The
    motor kept on running, albeit a bit slower than normal, probably
    owing to the fact that a human being was getting turned into
    human strips of pasta at the top.
    She did not survive.
    Makes me shudder.

    (Click for a big picture of the horrible thing)

  10. A moist or damp pussie , dont mind which they're both lovely ,,,,,, :lol: :roll:
  12. Total shite I was looking for the Pasta Strips
  13. This reminds one of the dark lady sitting on the porch eating a melon. She had no pantaloonies on and flies were buzzing round her winkle. her everloving says to her "honeychile,ain't dem flies bothering you? No shes says, it keepin dem offa de melon.

  14. I would of paid top fcuking dollar to have watched that! Awesome concept! Shame that cnut Goody can't suffer the same fate.....I would of donated my cok and balls to witness that bstrd!
  15. You'd probably be able to regenerate cells quicker than a fly could consume them. What about a swarm of flies? Do you think this would be a feasible way to go?

    Being stung to death by killer bees would be pretty sh1t. Wasps can bite you - maybe they could eat a whole human?
  16. I think you'll find wasps actually sting you, but unlike a bee, they take their sting back out, thereby living to sting another day!
  17. I'm pretty sure wasps both sting and bite. Their jaws are exceptionally powerful, and they'd certainly be capable of biting human skin. The internet seems to be divided on the issue. Any biologists reading?
  18. I once swallowed a mouth full of maggots. The technique being to warm them up in the mouth before they go on the hook.

    Well the mate came along and patted me on the back I had my music plugged into my ear and it was a bit of a shock. I imagined them chomping away at my innards luck would have it I had my whisky flask with me die you barstewards I cried! I have never eat another maggot since that day.

    I tell a lie I eat a Hu Hu Grub at the wild food festival in Hokitiki while in NZ!
  19. Wasps, bees and some ants use a modified egg-laying apparatus called an ovipositor (stinger) to subdue prey and to defend their nests. While these insects sting rather than bite to inflict injury they may also use their mandibles to bite in order to anchor themselves before delivering the sting.

    Bees have a "corkscrew" sting - and after stinging will "unwind" themselves ... however normally when they sting humans they get "wiped" away which because the sting is attached to their insides pulls their guts out - also is why the sting stays attatched. Wasps on the other hand have smooth stingers which is why the pesky little varmints can sting you two or three times before you get the chance to swot them!

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