Be prepared: The real threat.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Clown_Puncher, Nov 18, 2009.

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  1. Never mind all these distractions like Global Terrorism, Iran, Pakistan, North Korea etc. The real issue threatening us is the inevitable Zombie horde.

    It's fcuking coming I tell thee. I'm already prepped so I'll be alright. I've got my Sako Quad and a decent scope for long range Zombie slotting. A LWB landy for scavenging around the city ruins, loads of ratpacks and bottled water plus jerry cans agogo of diesel. Tools are also important, ther's going to be a lot of fortification required so I'm stocked up with hardware and materials too. That said, I've got my eye on a Viking and a Pinzgauer at MT too, I'll be having them.

    Last tuesday, I scoped out a good secure building to hole myself up in, it only has two exits, is tall as fcuk with good sniping positions and dead ground you can see for miles all around. I've talked the ammo tech into helping so when it all kicks off, he's going to sort me out with a few mortars, a 50., GMG, a Gimpy, a sig and fcukloads of ammo. I'm going to have a chat with 2DD about hooking me up with a shottie for when the shuffling undead fcukers want to get up close and personal. I've razzed some NVG's too.

    I'm prepared, and I'm not helping you wankers out when it all goes off, so get your shit in one sock pronto.

    • Like Like x 1
  2. You keep telling yourself that.

    Now, I need two shotties.
  3. Ex mother in laws are the threat even when they die you can still feel the steely glare. Probably the reason for my back pains.
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Do you think that Zombies would be able to do over radioactive super chavs?
  5. FUCK ME this could be a real threat, have you seen the teenagers of today??, remember Kevin and Perry ? they were half muated, this is a real threat that should not be taken lightly. Lucky for me i live in a appartment block so my plan is as follow

    1) Secure routes of entry leaving entrance and exit only for humans
    2) Food and water
    3) Deffensive Positions
    4) Hygine
    5) Offensive Ops for gathering food for the winter
    6) Armoured transport
    7) Entertainment- This could include

    a) Sniping zombies for fun
    b) Blowing up zombies for fun
    c) Shagging the Missis
    d) Burning the zombies for fun.

    As for the ninja's this is also a very real threat that should not be taken lightly especially if they form some sort of treaty with the zombies then we could be in the s**t. So therefore io suggest wearing body armour as this will give us protestion against the ninja stars. Also ever herd the saying ''taking a knife to a gun fight ?'' well every where we go we are armed with a SMG.
    When back in our safe location all points of entry will be greased down, or oil will do as we all know how nimble those ninja's are also all possible entry points will have claymores to give that extra piece of mind.

    This should be used as the basic protection used against zombies and ninja's, yes you could add more for your own piece of mind but this should be the very basic.
  6. I've got the ultimate weapon for all of them. Just get the wife to have a "word", as she calls it. After 4 hours labouring a point they'll happily blow their own heads off.
  7. Body armour eh? You're not wrong, you have to think about fellow scavengers who will jealous of your prior prep and will be after your stuff. I've thought of that, I've got four sets of Osprey and a couple of mitch helmets I traded for shit on Herrick. I've just got off the phone with a mate at BRF who has secured a slightly dented second hand WMIK which will replace my landy for scavenging. It should be ok as I'm not sure Zombies or Ninjas are that swept up on IEDs. I on the other hand will be leaving command wire ordnance all over the shop.

    Right next to the B&Q there is a PC World and a Comet so my entertainment should be sorted.
  8. Zombies and ninjas are real wow
  9. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    So thats where you learned that particular skill. Earduff's back on.
  10. It's an acquired skill I told her I had to keep all my kit as I have reserve service and have to wear them from time to time to maintain their integrity
  11. So you married my ex then ? I got out BEFORE I blew my own head off. :wink:
  12. What? No ultimate weapon required, just sit them down in front of Witsend's new flashing wibbly-wobbly 'thing' - that should do it. :lol:

    Or, is it a cunning ploy to turn those who look upon it for a hidden message into the aforementioned zombies? :twisted:
  13. The Zombification of the UK is already underway.

    After all, what other explanation could there be for so many millions of people watching effing X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing and I'm a Celebrity...?

    Oh, and all those people voting Labour at the next election...
  14. I tell the wife the time Jehovah Witness save a soul came a calling and they informed me after a while they had to go now. They never call anymore.
  15. No, mine was a first time rounder, Jeeeeez how I miss going on patrol sometimes :( 3 months of peace and quiet with a jolly at the end in a hotel and a pocket full of subs "sigh"
  16. Bump.

    So what's your plan for the inevitable apocalypse?

    Personally I'm alright Jack, I live in a massive old fortified house with open fire places and I'm in a farm surrounded by 6 foot stone walls (it was once a deer park). We also grow and rear much of our own scran and have a large woodland which can be foraged for wild food and cut down for fuel. We have a fresh water well and even have small scale alcohol production going on.

    So what is the plan?

    Well first things first, when the apocalypse comes, if I'm still alive, then the rest of my village probably will be too. Safety in numbers and production of food will be easier with more hands. It's time to establish a new society.

    Priorities will be, defence of the community and food and fuel production.


    The village is located in a valley with a stream running through, access is either from the North or South. My Farm is the northern most point, a similar farm and large house exists to the South. There is a village hall bang slap in the middle. I intend to use the village hall as a main meeting venue and community hub. It will be our inner defence and main storage area for food supplies etc. My farm and the one to the south will become FOBs, both are easily fortifiable, by simply extending walls and blocking fences and gateways. Both have strong rooms for guns and supplies, both have tractors, quads, tools and other useful assets.

    Each FOB will contain a force of armed men, we all have shotguns and rifles up here so we're sorted in that respect. Each farm will be responsible for the defence of the North or South sector of the village. I'll command the North, a dude who used to be a copper will command the South and the local GP will set up shop at the village hall. Daily patrols will be mounted in the respective sectors dominating the ground and acting as a deterrent to those who may threaten our way of life.

    We will largely be a peaceful community, however occasional raiding parties will be sent into neighbouring villages and towns in order to procure weapons, food, batteries, medical supplies and fuel for vehicles. This will have the added effect of asserting our dominance in the area and discourage others from attacking us.

    In the event of either FOB being over run, we will retract to the village hall, regroup and mount a counter attack from there in order to regain the FOB.

    Food and fuel production.

    Anyone not involved in defence will continue the work currently undertaken at the various farms. Dairy production, apple growing, beef, pig, sheep and goat farming all currently take place here. On a smaller scale there are some people with chickens and veg patches which will be expanded and developed. These people will also be responsible for chopping down trees for fuel and feeding the village, i.e. cooking. To conserve fuel cooking will be done communally in the village hall and at the FOBs, likewise only these will be heated. People are welcome to live at home in their own houses, but for scran and heat, they need to go to the hall or the nearest FOB.

    Zombies. ****ing bring it.
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2014
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  17. Once a sustainable way of life has been established and additional fortifications have been made to the village, we will establish secondary priorities, i.e. long term power generation and construction. Eventually educating our children, sport, culture and the arts will also feature as projects for development.

    Again the village hall will act as the central hub for all activities.
  18. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Glad you asked old boy.

    I'll be coming round yours. You could do with a hand and i'm sure i'll have some leave owing. I'm up for a bit of Zombie killing.
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  19. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You've given this matter a lot of thought, 2DD. Far too much, if I must say... :shock:

    Here's my plan:

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