Battle of Britain - a call for help!

Discussion in 'The Quarterdeck' started by MightyCrash, Aug 16, 2006.

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  1. I work with a few Crab-Fats and they are putting together their "Battle of Britain" yearly do - I for one am behind them on this - after all they only have one earmark in history and no tradition so they get very excited about celebrating it - and why not!

    I have been tasked however to put together some lyrics for songs for their "do". I have found most but am really struggling on a song entitled "I don't want to join the air force". Does any body know the lyrics to this song - or who I could ask? Google is no good and I wouldn't join PPrune if they paid me.

    Thanks in advance - matelot infultrating Crabs!
     
  2. Try Shep Wooley's site - he might have a few words for you ...!
     
  3. I don't really think the BofB is the place for this song, as everybody takes their Doris' along with them. Most BofB functions are done in the Old War East End theme, with bunkers etc. The lyrics you are after will probably give you a laugh if nothing else:

    I don't want to join the Air Force,
    I don't want to go to war,
    I'd rather hang around Piccadilly underground,
    Livin' off the earnings of a high class lady
    I don't want a bayonet up me arse 'ole,
    I don't want me bollocks shot away,
    I'd rather stay in England, in merry, merry England,
    And fornicate me fcukin' life away.

    On Monday I touched her on the ankle,
    Tuesday I touched her on her knee,
    On Wednesday I confess, I lifted up her dress,
    On Thursday I saw it, gor blimey,
    On Friday I put me 'and upon it,
    On Saturday she gave my [email protected] a squeeze,
    On Sunday after supper, I rammed the fcuker up her,
    An' now I'm payin' seven and six a week!

    On Monday I rammed the fcuker up her,
    Tuesday I rammed the fcuker up her,
    On Wednesday I confess, I rammed the fcuker up her,
    On Thursday I rammed the fcuker up her,
    On Friday I rammed the fcuker up her,
    On Saturday I rammed the fcuker up her,
    On Sunday after supper, I rammed the fcuker up her,
    An' now I'm payin' seven and six a week!

    Hope this helps a bit . . . .
     
  4. That's fantastic - thanks - I hope my Macr is appreciative!
     
  5. Never would have thought they were the same words as 'I don't....the Navy' etc - just goes to show we are more interlinked than we thought maybe ... :)
     
  6. While we ae on this, what's the lyrics to; Johnny was a parachute in the RAF?
     
  7. Thanks again - he has just received the e-mail with the words on and he's very happy - Bravo Zulu!
     
  8. No problem, just remember to stand up when the port comes round :p
     
  9. I haven't sung that since I was a sprog trainee . . . to the tune of 'John Browns Body :

    Johnny was a parachuter in the RAF
    Johnny was a parachuter in the RAF
    Johnny was a parachuter in the RAF
    But he ain't gonna jump no more

    chorus
    Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die
    When your knickers are suspended in the early morning sky
    Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die
    And he ain't gonna jump no more

    He jumped from 50,000 feet without a parachute...

    They scraped him off the runway like a lump of strawberry jam...

    They stuck him in an envelope and sent it home to mum...

    She put him on the mantelpiece for everyone to see...


    I think that is about it.
     
  10. I was lucky enough to attend a BOB night at RAF Wyton 3 years ago and it was a fantastic evening.

    Food and drink were superb and there was a free bar all night. They had the Battle of Britain film playing on a large screen, without sound for obvious reasons. Swing band were in attendance once the meal was complete and they were brilliant and had everyone on the dance floor.

    I was the only matelot there and was treated very well and I received plenty of attention from many of the wives for a dance or two. They did not go much in the way of speechs as our Mess dinners though, which is probably a good thing. Was very informal with regards getting up for a wee etc.

    They 'fly' the port and 'stand up' for the loyal toast.

    All in all, it was a bloody good evening/morning and I would go again if I were lucky enough to be invited.

    Enjoy it.
     
  11. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    I went to WO's & Sgts Mess do at Boscombe Down the other year; there were two of us in Dark Blue, a couple of RLC pongoes and the rest were Crabs. A great night at which I was fined for standing for the Loyal Toast (I stood up with the rest - if I'd stayed sitting down in the RN tradition, I'm sure I'd have been fined too!). The PMC at the time, was a WO1 Aircrew who'd transferred into the RAF from the RN - the Crabs allowed him a few extra years of flying helos rather than desks!

    Like Brigham, I was treated very well and had a fantastic time - work the next day, however, was more than a little bit fuzzy since they held their dinners on Thursdays so as not to inconvenience weekend travellers!
     

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