Bastard Scouse_Castaway

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, May 1, 2011.

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  1. At 17.16 today scouse castaway posted this with regards to Harrier jump jets.

    I'd say remain sceptical in the extreme right up until one of these reactivated Harriers lands in your front lawn :p

    At approx 2100 a large object descended vertically into my garden. Thinking it could be a harrier as I witnessed its decent I ran out to greet the pilot. I thought mayhap he was lost/thirsty, and I may proffer directions and beverage to the poor wanderer.
    Alas this was not to be.
    It was in fact a car that had shot the barriers on the raised road at very high speed.
    It landed on my right leg breaking it in several places, crushed ESP our dog and flattened my rhododendrons.
    If by any chance you have anymore advanced knowledge of aircraft movements, I would implore you to keep them to yourself. If I can prove there was any kind of a conspiracy between your post and the driver of the Ford Mondeo, I will sue.
    Disgruntled of Tamworth.
  2. It's all me, me, me with you. A bust leg and a flat dog to go with your rhodendritethingy's. What state is the car in and is there anything worth nicking/salvaging?

    Get a grip FFS (and why do you live in a ditch?? Raised road my arse)
  3. The white folks over the road buried the driver. Poor rastus kep a sayin he wornt dead but they a sayin he lyin.
  4. Bugger that, Scouse, what are next weeks lottery numbers?
  5. My god, I was only having a laugh about the Harrier, cant lay the destruction of Rummer's garden at my feet. Honest laaaa

    As to lottery numbers........... 2 5 7 12 19 35 40

    Also, Lord Lucan is hiding in Wewak under the name Trevor, Elvis is alive and Liverpool is not full of sneak bastards with a fetish for stealing car wheels
  6. As I lie in my hospital bed Black and blue (depressed and tanned) I think back to that horrible experience I had to endure.
    Two fire crews who had total disregard for my pansie beds and red hot pokers, trudged like morons over my beloved garden.
    After removing all the spares they seemed to need from the wreckage, they loaded all their equipment to vacate, when as an after thought someone remembered me. I was dragged forcibly from the debris thrown on a door that had become detached from my shed and carted off to steel bodger the local veterinarian.
    I hate you honky's and regretted the day I ever elected to be black.
  7. Count yourself lucky they didnt take you to Good Hope!

  8. In June 2006 they did.
    They saved my life in Good Hope, what can I say. A big Black bruvva named Trevor, one of the finest ER Nurses I ever had the pleasure to be fiddled by. Him and a trauma doctor called Brian.
    I sure was one lucky nigga.

    City Hospital,...dodgy.
  9. T-H


    Bollocks, now we know you're lying.

    Rumrat, was it a 'Harrier' edition Mondeo?

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