Banning Women Drivers

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Tas-ape, Mar 12, 2008.

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  1. In its first sensible policy for years, the Government has announced that it will ban women drivers from our roads. Since just under half of all road traffic accidents are caused by women, this policy is expected to save thousands of lives.

    The Minister for Health and Safety, Matt Sojinist, announced that women, most of whom get fat by their early 20s and take 9 months off work for no apparent reason, are a health hazard. "My own Missus gives me an ear bashing if I get home late from a Cabinet meeting", he confessed to our report in a rare moment of male bonding. "In any event, why do women want to drive when it is a proven fact that none of them can reverse park or do a 3 point turn?"

    Women will, however, be entitled to operate other road vehicles, such as prams, for which a new road licence will be necessary. Mr. Sojinist added "The Government feels that women operate prams better than men and therefore men won't be given licences to push prams."

    Finally, breast-feeding in public will be compulsory, except for fat women, who will receive on the spot fines for whipping their hooters out in front of other people.
  2. I agree - ban them!

  3. Er ... no I mean, don't ban them (just been seen typing the last one by a woman).

  4. Hmm agree with the ban in general, but I think there should be a caveat that they are allowed to drive when ferrying husband/boyfriend to/from events that include alcohol
  5. That is a fair point. Include a caveat which permits them to drive only if 75% of their driving time is spent playing taxi driver to their nearest and dearest. I like it.

    Ever thought of running for office Mikh?

  6. Like my wife says - She hasn't had an accident, but seen loads!

    However - she's not telling the truth, she managed to drive into the front of our house 'Bloody brake pedal and throttle pedal felt the same!'
  7. And just over half would be caused by who? :bball:
  8. Ignore them KF - they most likely have small penises anyway. Idiot men drivers usually do.
  9. Is that from observation, or experience Rosie?

  10. I hate being a passenger in any vehicle but much happier being a passenger with either Elaine or Debby driving than any bloke I know , fact .
  11. Well you understand I do not personally inspect them all, but when did you hear of a woman killing 7 people overtaking like a manic, having previously had a similar accident on the same stretch of road? And running from the scene? and having been convicted for it?
  12. But what about the MONTHLY MENACE when women get behind the wheel and that PMT kicks in.... Dangerous???..................Put the knife down!
  13. I have not heard of this woman so please tell me about her.

    7 people overtaking like a maniac have only themselves to blame.
  14. Keep death off the road, drive on the pavement. :dwarf:
  15. rosinacarley, you are, of course, right and I'm even more guilty as I suspected that was the event you were refering to.

    At the risk of being yet more unpopular, I must confess that a particular aspect of this somewhat irritated me at the time:

    Now, unless Mr Brain was known to have been over the limit at the time of his final collision, was that revelation relevant or called for? Is a past misdemeanour an automatic qualification for criminal responsibility for something long afterwards?

    Anyway, a very sad loss and waste of lives; and it brings back bitter memories of something similar that I experienced many years ago. I wish the survivors well and all strength to the friends and relatives.
  16. The following ratings muster on the flight deck in five minutes time:

    Silver Fox
    Monkey Tennis
    2 Badge Mango
    Fly past pinch

    Sorry folks, my initial posting was “Borrowed†from a Spoof site. The story is total Magumba, but taking into consideration the accident in Cotswold’s, I now feel that it’s totally inappropriate.
  17. Tas-ape, it was a good Post so relax. S**t happens and always will.

  18. I don't feel the post wasn't inappropriate to begin with. It was meant in jest. I am a bit out of the loop with UK news stories, but this was a terrible tragedy.

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