Banned From ASDA

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by trelawney126, Sep 30, 2009.

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  1. Had the misfortune to take the aged mother in law for her eye test at the local ophthalmic shop based in the local /ASDA branch St Austell.
    Having done the shopping the wife and myself wait in the sitting, come waiting room. the shopping trolley tucked neatly beside us so as not to cause obstruction.
    The mother in law was still in the consulting room, when the door to the room opened and out came the Ophthalmologist at mach2, Bang straight into the shopping trolley.
    The two receptionists spin round to look, as do some other sad miscreants who were waiting.....
    without thinking I said "Should have gone to Specsavers"
    Majority laughed except for the Ophthalmologist....result.
    One embarressed wife, me in stitches being escorted off the premesis!

    Any others been banned for engaging mouth before brain?
  2. I knew you and that wreckler were bad news, I've been getting in all sorts of trouble since I started hanging with you two. 8O :oops: :D
  3. I resemble that remark, I'm a good boy, went to Ganges and everyfink

    Not been banned but was always in the poo for transmitting when I should have been receiving. I was thinking out loud once and said "Will you marry me" and the pash said yes :oops: and she's still here 28 years later 8O One of my write ups summed it "has a tendency for untimely flippant remarks".That'll be me then 8)
  4. :D :wink:
  5. To my eternal shame, I confess to being ejected from the Keppels Head in Guzz 1972 fot objecting topaying 75p for a pint of scrumpy that was watered down, (When i went up North in '66, it was till about 1/8 a pint.)
    This was closely followed by being asked to leave the Lugger (it was Ma Boots when I were a lad)for complaining that there was no cider. Iwas informed that cider attracted the sort of customer that they weren't looking for (like me) and was shown the door.
    Fortunately for all concerned, I went RA shortly after.
  6. The PO of my part of ship took me in the Rose of England one Sunday afternoon (his local) for stay behinds.
    I was 16 it was 1966 and I was a junior. Drank my three pints of larger right manly and then collapsed.
    When they stood me up I would not stop swearing and offering every one out.
    They threw me out. When Sam the PO came back to the ship he took me up the focsul locker and beat the crap out of me. :oops: :cry: :cry:
  7. I've been banned from McDonald's.
  8. When I was in the Observer Corps the pub nearest to our Post (1A3, later No.1 group/11 Post) was run by a CND supporter. We all entered the pub. It was my first ever visit to a pub for a wet and I asked for half a pint of shandy. :roll: As the post nozzer they ignored me and brought me my first ever pint. After a pint and a half I dozed off and had to be taken home to mum. Apparently the landlord took umbridge at having served beer to a minor (I too was 16) and he banned the lot of us. After that whenever we went to a pub I was plied with beer and it was always the same: I couldn't take my beer. Always pissed after 1.5 pints! :oops: Oh the embarrasment.....

    As a hardened alcololic I can now down, hic, a quarter bottle of Whisky before giggling myself to sleep. ;)
  9. I thought you worked for them? Don't tell me you were banned for abusing a frankfurter! o_O you see where exposure to RR's real matelots leads! :lol: ;)
  10. Hell, that sounds so familiar. There's a clue to my RR name in that. That and my lack of "political awareness".
  11. There is a watering hole on the octagon roundabout in Union Street, Guz whose name escapes me. (I believe it has a nautical name, possibly the ship?) Anyway it stays open until sunrise and is a favourite haunt for smackheads and hookers coming off the middle. One night whilst we were anchored out in the sound, I missed the pas boat and had to find somewhere to wait until the next one at 0700. As it was the only place still open, I decided to have a few quiet ones in said pub until the boat arrived.

    Now being in a rather advanced state of refreshment, it wasn't long until I drifted off into a deep snooze only to be awoken five minutes later by one of the bouncers. He kindly asked me to leave, I kindly refused, pointing out that there were people shooting up in the heads, blokes fighting in the corner and a hooker giving someone a handjob at the table across from me and all I was trying to do was get my head down. (I may have called him shippers at this point, I can't really remember)

    Unfortunately the bouncer disagreed and I was thrown (literally) out of the pub into Union Street to fend for myself. I staggered back to the jetty and found a little corner to sit in until the boat arrived. It was fcuking freezing. I have not been back to that particular establishment since.
  12. Was told the reason the seps have this thing with Iran they refused planning permission for a McDonalds
  13. I've been banned from our local big hardware store for winding up those little alarm clocks that look like fruit (as many as half a dozen)! I use to time them to go off in about 10 minutes, just as I planned to walk out the door!
  14. Got Banned from Tescos a few years ago close to christmas time. Basically I was waiting in line to get to checkout when this old lady on her phone with a shopping trolly kept ramming it into my ankles. I told her to pack it in as we weren't going anywhere anyway. She did it twice more before I turned around and lifted one side of her trolley spilling all her shopping all over the floor and stamping on her mobile phone that she dropped out of shock ha ha. I was banned from the store for three months eventhough she deserved it.
  15. Well done.
  16. I gave her enough warnings she wasn't OAP old just around fiftys
  17. And if the old lady (in her fifties) was your mother, what then ?

  18. That would be The Clipper mate and you are quite correct with the type of cliental frequenting it. :lol:
  19. I used to use a local pub (illegally) before I joined up. After joining up I went in for a drink or three in my short "Raleigh" haircut and was told to get out as I was too young!!!! (20yo at the time, and a bit of skin!)
  20. She would of got a slap aswell

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