Bah humbug.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Shakey, Dec 2, 2007.

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  1. Fucking Christmas again. Spending money I haven't got on gash presents for people who don't need them. Pubs all full with people who come out once a fucking year and then drink beer they can't handle and chuck up everywhere.

    Christmas. Loads of bollocks. Happy fucking birthday Jesus, bet you're well chuffed.
  2. Told my kids years ago we were Muslim, saved a fortune on prezzies!
  3. Ho Ho Bleeding Ho! Really looking forward to Christmas like a hole in the head.
  4. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Yeah, just buy them a Teddy, that ought to do it. What could possibly go wrong?
  5. People stopping and wishing you all the best rest of the year they walk on by.

    Being rostered for working over the "Happy Holidays" name goes in the hat for the few who are allowed time off. Knob states makes no odds if my name stays in there I aint coming in. Slap on the wrist on his return this happened every year, prat retired on ill health om a megga pension[fat tawt]

    Mate in the pub says ring in sick. In an essential job you don't ring in sick to go out on the piss.

    Detest Crimbo lights going up in November in households. Supermarket Crimbo shite music. Where did I put that Charlie G!

    The season of gluttony. Pavements covered in Bangladesh turkey puke!

    We had twenty people at our Christmas dinner. I am completely exhausted. More fool you!

    Vorderman after Christmas telling you to get that loan now and start living again. Because the plastic is none to healthy is it.

    Well it only comes once a year! That and other things only come once a year. So the advertising people brainwash us into believing.

    We even have the supermarkets telling us how to celebrate thanksgiving day!!! Bollocks!!

    I have no money for presents what am I going to do? Simple tell them all you can buy me a prezzie but you aint getting one back. That way you don't need that Vorderman loan do you! And they feel guilty and buy you prezzies!
  6. While reading an article about an aerodrome that's in danger of closure because its neighbours don't like it, I found this;

    As I've said numerous times on these pages, there's no God in my Universe but there is tradition. I used to declare my office/work area (as appropriate at the time!) a Crimbo exclusion zone. Not any more! I am becoming so "happy birthday little baby Jesus" as to be evangelical. Thank you so much bloody Islam!
  7. It would be nice if the hijacking of Christmas and Easter by the Christians could be reversed. After all Jesus was born sometime between August and September (probably September) and thus Crimbo should be marked at that time by Christians, by attending Mass, and leaving the rest of us alone. No crimbo programmes, no forced holiday because public transport grinds to a halt, etc, no hypocrisy. Likewise the Sunday Trading laws should be abolished for imposing the Christian lifestyle on those of us who haven't chosen it. Religious types should be entitled by law to celebrate their holidays and allow the rest of us to choose which days we want to celebrate. In my case I'd like to mark the birth of Hume instead. I could then give other Humeist pressies and send out Humeist cards to celebrate my deeply held beliefs.
  8. Just tell your friends and kids you're a Jehova's Witness - no Christmas or Birthday presents or cards to buy !

    Alternatively, when the witnesses come knocking at your door, invite them in and tell them you're celebrating your birthday whilst wrappring Christmas pressies and writing your cards having just come back from giving blood.
  9. Inviting Mormons in and offering them a can of Fosters and a ciggie keeps them from knocking at your door ever again.
  10. I Hate christmas so much that I've volunteered to be duty for the last 10 years.Christmas eve, christmas day, boxing day, 72hours of pure bliss! No arguments, no pissed relatives, and I dont even like christmas dinner.Had my first one off last year, it was shite, never again. I am so looking forward to doing christmas deterrent patrol this year!!!
    BAAAHUMBUG!! :rambo:
  11. Bliss!

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