Back from my holiday

Hi guys. Just back from my holiday. Went Santorini with my mate Benno and had a crazy mad time. Want tell you all what went on.

First day we got there we hired a car and and were speeding up and down the roads while drinking ouzo. The island was dead quiet with not many police so drink driving and driving fast was something we could get away with. Plus we were on holiday and wanted some fun. Anyway, we were seeing how fast we could get the car down this street. I was driving and some kids ran out from the nearby hotel complex on their way to a kids club thing. Stupid kids nearly ran into my speeding car. I'd been drinking heavily so my reactions weren't so good but luckily I missed them. Anyway as I slammed the breaks on this big fat british guy who must of been one of the kids' dad started screaming at me and stormed over to the car. Benno got out and threw this bottle of ouzo we'd been drinking at his feet and sent glass everywhere. we then sped off laughing. However, after a bit more heavy driving I ended up crashing the car into a tree. I was fine but benno broke his collar bone and damaged his neck. He had to be taken to hospital which left me on my own.

I just went back to the hotel and carried on with my holiday. But later that night, the guy who shouted at us came over to me with a load of other middle aged blokes and started swinging at me. I was taken completely by surprise and was heavily outnumbered. Even though I am a cage fighter there was nothing I could do to win because the odds were so heavily against me due to the number of guys attacking me. I adopted what us cage fighters call the turtle position to defend myself from the blows. Then scooted to my feet as soon as possible and made a run for the exit. The old fat c'unts couldn't catch me because I'm a pottential commando who is used to running.

I wanted my revenge so I went to this shop that sells replica BB guns and purchased a replica Desert Eagle that looked the f'ucking business. I then went back to my room and got changed. I stuffed the Desert Eagle down the front of my baggy jeans so you could see the handle sticking out the top. I wasn't wearing a t-shirt so my muscled physique was on show and my tattoos and my gold chains. I don't want to brag but after looking at myself in the mirror I looked f'ucking bullet hard I tell you.

So now I was kitted out and looking game as f'uck I decided to stroll through the hotel bar where the guys were at. As I walked past I stared at them and propped myself up against the bar and just faced their direction with my fingertips drumming the handle of my heater. They didn't get up but I could tell i was causing a stir and the women ran off and took the kids with them.

I began drinking and with the intent on getting fired up on the hotel ale. But not after long the greek feds turned up. They were in the building like a flash with gats drawn and ready to go. I was semi p!ssed but noticed them coming in from outside. This left me with two options ... 1) reach for my hammer and start blasting, or 2) leg it. Seen as though the strap I was packing only fired BBs (and I didn't even have any of them) I went with option 2 and gave it toes.

I legged it to the beach and hid under a bush. The next day I advanced out of my hiding spot and returned to the hotel, in a stealthy, discreet way, in order to get some more money and clothes from my room. I was then aprehended by the hotel security staff and held till the Five O turned up.

After a long drawn out process in a greek pen I was finally deported back to England and told never to return to Greece again in my life. So all in all it wasn't the best holiday I've ever had, but atleast i never backed down and atleast i went out with a fight. F'uck greece anyway. A country that insists you put toilet paper in the bin after wiping your arse with it is f'ucking backward in my opinion anyway.
At least you've had your hoop nicely stretched by the Greek police and prison guards. They must have thought it was Christmas having a pretty boy like you in their hands and on their glands
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