Baby....superstition....!

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Jul 2, 2013.

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  1. Right! I'm unloading a loada bags of shoppin' and WolfPackLeader (a.k.a. "wife") is sorting
    the frozen from the fridge stuff from the tins from the packets from the general detritus
    that has been purchased and amongst all this vital crap that we cannot survive without,
    is three pairs of new shoes (in their boxes). I offload the last of the contents of the cars
    plazzy bags and in order to ease my transit through the hallway - I carefully placed all
    the boxed sets of new shoes on the glass table in an alcove what we've got.
    I bimble off up the stairs to sort out for the Night shift (in about 25 minutes), and I hear
    old WolfPackLeader goin' fuckin' ballistic down the bottom of the staircase.
    "YOU'VE PUT NEW SHOES ON THE TABLE YOU STUPID OLD GIT!!!"
    "Errrr pardon my little sugar plum?"
    "NEW SHOES! NEW SHOES! THAT'S THREE PAIRS OF NEW SHOES ON THE TABLE YOU
    FUCKING ARSEHOLE!"
    "Is there a problem oh Divine one?"
    "You KNOW it's unlucky! Why did you put the NEW SHOES on the table eh!!??"

    Anyhow - it sort of went a bit pear shaped....all this new shoes on table bollocks and I'm
    thinking......what the flying fuck is all that about? I was born on the 13th - there are actually
    13 letters in my full name and I don't give a toss about all this superstition baloney. Ladders?
    Black cats? Broken mirrors? Fuckin' four leafed clovers and all the one's that I know about....
    NOW I've got to add the "Don't put WolfPackLeaders new shoes on a table......EVER, on pain
    of death and two nights in the spare room".

    Any of you lot superstitious then?

    If so why and if you are then please get a life.

    Luv'n'ShoesOnTheTable,

    Billy.
     
  2. My Mum and ex girlfriends mum used to say that putting new shoes on the table was unlucky, must be a women of certain age thing.

    The funny thing is according to my mum that putting new shoes (and apparently cycling shoes/cleats are considered shoes) on the kitchen counter is okay... but a table is unlucky.
     
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It would only be lucky (well, for the rest of us) if Tamnottle did his Ian Curtis impression and wore his shoes as he climbed onto the table with a noose around his neck and took a step forward.
     
  4. Magpies, MAGPIES ARE THE DEVIL. If I only see the one magpie I just can't function until I spot a second one or someone "breaks my loop" (don't start).

    If I hit my elbow, I hit he other one for "luck" why this is luck, I don't know.

    3 grids on the path = bad luck
    2 grids on the path = good luck.

    Billy, you should note this all down.
     
  5. Magpies ... now what you need Lauren is a Larson Trap! Then you can have as many magpies as you want!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Magpies
    1 for sorrow
    2 for joy
    3 for a girl
    4 for a boy
    5 for silver
    6 for gold
    7 for a secret never to be told

    If I remember correctly

    Never call your misses by a different name when making love, that’s bad luck?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. TV and radio volumes must never be on odd numbers. Ever. If it goes up to eleven I don't give a fuck, it stays on ten. Also, one I never even knew I did until it was pointed out the other day, I ride in a little circle twice before setting off at the start of a bikeride. Odd.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Turn over any money in your pockets when you see a new moon.

    Never pass another person on the stairs in your own home.
     
  9. Never open an umbrella indoors is one that has to be followed in my house courtesy of Mrs. FH
     
  10. Classic, does your amp go up to eleven?
     
  11. tumblr_luh66xX32H1qg7yceo1_500.jpg
    Thankfully Marshall corrected it to an even number.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. My Mum and Nan were of the new shoes on the table bollix, also never have Lillies in the house 'cos they're funeral flowers.

    One of theirs was if you have a boiled egg, always crush the empty egg shells as witches would use them as boats (feckin' small witches IMO).

    Telling the wife she's wrong brings me bad luck, similar to telling her that yes, her bum does look big in that.

    Calling the joss Chief
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Weird, my Dad used to tell me that too.
     
  14. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Yes. Absolutely. Odd numbers are the work of the devil in these matters.

    I always have to put my left sock on first. Always. And i never ever eat apricots, because they get people blown up.
     
  15. Bruv??.....................
     
  16. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    - Don't eat yellow snow.

    - Don't bend over in revolving doors.

    - Don't eat peanuts in gay bars.
     
  17. Never sell a scooter that you havent got
     
    • Like Like x 3
  18. WolfPackLeader also has a "thing" about doing any washing on the first day of a New Year. I don't think that's a superstition.....I put that down to a fuckin' major hang-over and the simple fact that nobody could ever be arsed to do a full wash on January 1st.

    I'll be 59 years of age on the 13th of July 2013...there's TWO 13's for a start! I'll probably go out for a celebration pint or two, get filled in, mugged and gang raped by a load of Romanian pick-pockets and thrown under a passing bus.

    I'll let you know how it goes.
     
  19. 59 years of age / 4.5 gun = 13 woooooooo scary


    Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
     
  20. 59.........9 minus 5 = 4. Add the 4 to the biggest number (i.e. the 9) - and you get fuckin' 13.
    Oh and that poster above this at this moment in time RoyalNavyMaverick (number of posts = 31....reverse THAT and whaddya get???)
     

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