ATTENTION GLASWEIGANS

Tas-ape

Lantern Swinger
#1
U R A GLASWEGIAN If:

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie , Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure
class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,
in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding
day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard
these words...

how's it hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye
wee beasties
arse bandit
amurny
away an bile yer heid
peely-wally
humphey backit
Ba'-heid
baw bag
dubble nuggit

Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has
just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back,
with his rear end aimed at an electric fire.
The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer
Ayrshire bacon?"
"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."
8)
 
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