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Around the World in 80 runs ashore.

digger84

War Hero
2DD you are correct again, but where do find out these buzzes? have you been in my cabin again?
Whos up for a night out in Cyprus I have never been there awake. Once I missed Lanarca, I had the middle the night before as roundsman and missed our stop it was only one day ,oh well at least i have the chance this time to see cyprus!!!
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
My last experience of Limassol, copied from the whoring thread:

http://www.navy-net.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/printertopic=1/p=398588.html

The divsest whore I never did:

Limassol, Cyprus, on the way home from the Far East, went to a bar of ill repute with the lads and had a few dances with some of the girls. Suddenly I spotted her from accross the room, she was fcuking essence, she looked like Audrey Hepburn but more divs. She came over and we started to chat, her English was cack and from what little she spoke, I deduced that she was from Moldovia and her name was Vera. I didn't care though, I had to fcuk her. Not only was she by far the most divs bird I had seen during 9 months of whoring around the Far East, but to this day I maintain that she was one of the most stunning women I have ever seen.

I had a lapdance from her and felt her firm and pert breasts in my hands, perfect in size, not too big or too small, just right. I struck up a bargain with the bar manager and she accompanied me back to a hotel. We stopped at a cashpoint en-route so I could sort out the finances for the transaction that was to follow. I tried my card in the machine, nothing, I tried again in desperation, ''card not accepted.'' Just as I was beginning to give up hope, my oppo strolled past with his 'choice from the bar' and offered to sort me out. Phew!

So we went to our room and she performed another lap dance for me, stripping down to just her G string. She was even more divs in the lights of the hotel room and I could not wait to nail her. Just as I began to peel off her knickers, I heard some crashing in the hall way and my oppo burst into the room shouting ''grab your stuff! We've gotta go!'' I followed my oppo down the stairs at break neck speed (remember he was gonna lend me the money for this whore) and we ran down the street towards the ship.

As I caught up with him, I exclaimed ''what the fcuk was that all about?'' Turned out he had been sick on his whore and decided not to pay. Obviously he had to do a runner.

Cnut.

I was heartbroken.

Still am actually.

And so ends the story of the divsest whore I never did.
 

Stirling

Banned
2_deck_dash said:
Sterling_Stirling said:
Sub sunk ex in BofBiscuits so it is back to Gib for quick re-fuel, after sub sunk ex sail for Simonstown where you catch the first train to Cape Town to catch crabs/gons/syph.

Woah there shippers, Navs didn't have that planned until much later in the trip.

I heard we are refuelling in Limassol with a some AT at the RAF base. Then out on the smash in Ayia Napa.

Apologies 2DD, Rum Rat is Nav's Yeo and got the wrong chart, we have to make do with Rum Rat as Tommo is too busy with his marathon prep.
 

Shackles_and_Flags

Lantern Swinger
digger84 said:
Last time i went into Soudha Bay it was on Lusty on midnight leave, we had a riot in the streets. It all started when a scouse dabber nicked a locals moped. The local chavs went mental we were all sat on the buses waiting to go back to the Nato fueling pier when all hell let loose everyone got of the bus and started having a rucas with the locals i got knocked out recovered and went to buy an ice cream walked back past all the fighting not knowing where i was police came sorted it all out went back onboard. happy days.

By the way this time the Chogi is correct we have to pull into Soudha Bay for some Chogi Dust

I do believe I was on one of the buses!! all good fun!!
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
Right, where were we?

Oh yes that was it, just leaving Limassol and heading South for the Canal. I can see the little boats with the gash gizzits for sale already.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
2_deck_dash said:
Right, where were we?

Oh yes that was it, just leaving Limassol and heading South for the Canal. I can see the little boats with the gash gizzits for sale already.

WTF happened to Malta???? Woz I asleep again
 

UncleAlbert

War Hero
Weighed anchor and start heading towards land …then entering canal past the sleeping statue of Ferdinand De lssups we see an armada of bum boats heading towards us loaded to the gunnels with rabbits….they are warned to stay clear but they have no ears and soon the deck apes are having lots of fun trying to tip erm over with fire hoses……the hardy ones make it alongside and feeling sorry for them lines are let down for them to attach their good …..they do sell some stuff but most disappears down below…
The pilot is on along with the Hully-Gully Man who sets himself up on the upper deck to entertain us during the passage ….looking like a poor mans Tommy Cooper he does all sorts of magic tricks that amuses and dumfounds jack …
Anchored overnight in the bitter lakes after supper we relax and watch the sunseting from the quarterdeck with only the occasional scream from a bum boat that came to close and was shooed off with a fire hose…
Next morning we set off southbound and take in the strange sight of greenery and civilisation to the right bank but to the left of us nothing but desert….
Dropping the pilot and the mad magician we up revs and head out into the red sea …next stop Aden for some cheap fuel ……


….
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Fcuk the gully-gully man and his chicks, I was looking forward to Malta? The whole of the Med to party in and only Soudha Bay and Limassol as runs ashore?? This is like a boats deployment FFS

(and Soudha Bay was shite last time I went there, well shitish to honest, No that's bollix I actually enjoyed it)
 

UncleAlbert

War Hero
Maybee but East of suez is the BZ…..I once got a bag off in exchange for a bucket….an I only went ashore to ditch the gash….

…..
 

YouAreHavingALaugh

Lantern Swinger
I have heard we may stop in Eilat on the way back, some nice beaches, good looking birds, but they all walk around with automatic rifles on there backs.

And if you want to you can visit the dead sea and that place where they filmed one of the indiana jones films.
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
WreckerL said:
Fcuk the gully-gully man and his chicks, I was looking forward to Malta? The whole of the Med to party in and only Soudha Bay and Limassol as runs ashore?? This is like a boats deployment FFS

(and Soudha Bay was shite last time I went there, well shitish to honest, No that's bollix I actually enjoyed it)

Sorry about that. Navs had the chit on the door outside the reg office all weekend and no one bothered to put their name down for the AT he had planned in Malta. I think his very words were ''ram it Popeye.''

Next stop Aden / Salallah or some other dump.

I hear Mombassa is nice this time of year.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
2_deck_dash said:
WreckerL said:
Fcuk the gully-gully man and his chicks, I was looking forward to Malta? The whole of the Med to party in and only Soudha Bay and Limassol as runs ashore?? This is like a boats deployment FFS

(and Soudha Bay was shite last time I went there, well shitish to honest, No that's bollix I actually enjoyed it)

Sorry about that. Navs had the chit on the door outside the reg office all weekend and no one bothered to put their name down for the AT he had planned in Malta. I think his very words were ''ram it Popeye.''

Next stop Aden / Salallah or some other dump.

I hear Mombassa is nice this time of year.

You can ram Salallah but I had a good time in Mombers (hotel had a private beach and 24 hour bar...bargain)
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
There is a big hotel in Salallah with a poolside bar, i.e you don't actually have to get out of the pool to get served. It's great until you look around and realise that no one has got up for a slash in over 4 hours.

Mmmmmm yellowy.
 

Pontius

War Hero
Did I sleep through Naples or was I down the local nick (again) talking to the Carabinerie about the mis-deeds of some of my division (Groundhog Day from Majorca.......but no stiletto knives in Magaluf :? ).

I think my head's still sore from the brandy sours in Limassol and Larnaca. Perhaps a few rounds of squeaky cheese will sort it out. I can't remember the name of the bar but I know it was a fixed price for every drink and they got pissed off because they didn't reckon on us drinking so many Long Island Iced Teas....MMMmmmmm, spirity.

Can someone have a word with the boat driver, or whatever they're called, and tell him the WAFUs need a new batch of clicky beds, so we'll have to jump off and have a recce of Cairo on theway through that rivery thing that goes through the sand.

PS: You all missed a good run ashore in Sardinia on the way past. Shame we couldn't get everybody in the flying machines :D
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
And getting bladdered at a BBQ up at the old plantation and bronzing gently at Turtle cove.
 
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