Are you kidding me?

#1
Makes one want to weep....(the amount of times I coulda been thrown out....Lol)
Flatulence ban for club pensioner
Maurice Fox
Mr Fox said that the club letter was a surprise
A social club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old man from breaking wind while indoors.

Maurice Fox received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton asking him to consider his actions, which "disgusted" members.

Mr Fox, a club regular for 20 years, said: "I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."

He said he had to leave the club about three times a night.

In its letter to the retired bus driver, the club said: "After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors.

"You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request."


I am a loud farter, but there is no smell

Mr Fox, who lives in nearby Princess Street, said the letter was a surprise because he had been given no verbal warning.

"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.

"I do not think it [the letter] is unreasonable, you get ladies in there."

Mr Fox also spends two days a week at the nearby Palace Place club, but said he had no complaints about flatulence there.

The club said there was no one available for comment.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/7126973.stm
 
#2
Great one After SSE, good to see UK still has its eccentricities and sense of humour. There are a few possibilities for the old chap and at least he does not need a de-odoriser.

• Fit a silencer
• Practice ventriloquy
• Sit with other ‘old farts’ in a special area like ‘farters only’ What fun designing a sign
• Form a ‘farting choir’

Having said that I don’t think I would appreciate sitting near a ‘ farter’, smell or no smell. Far too embarrassing I reckon.
 
#3
hobbit said:
Great one After SSE, good to see UK still has its eccentricities and sense of humour. There are a few possibilities for the old chap and at least he does not need a de-odoriser.

• Fit a silencer
• Practice ventriloquy
• Sit with other ‘old farts’ in a special area like ‘farters only’ What fun designing a sign
• Form a ‘farting choir’

Having said that I don’t think I would appreciate sitting near a ‘ farter’, smell or no smell. Far too embarrassing I reckon.[/q

BUY A DOG
 
#4
Backpacker1uk said:
hobbit said:
Great one After SSE, good to see UK still has its eccentricities and sense of humour. There are a few possibilities for the old chap and at least he does not need a de-odoriser.

• Fit a silencer
• Practice ventriloquy
• Sit with other ‘old farts’ in a special area like ‘farters only’ What fun designing a sign
• Form a ‘farting choir’

Having said that I don’t think I would appreciate sitting near a ‘ farter’, smell or no smell. Far too embarrassing I reckon.[/q

BUY A DOG

Yeah! the good old favourite, didn't think of that one
 
#5
I was once a member of a mess where anyone who farted during meal times was fined a slab of beer. Perhaps something similar would be an incentive for this bloke to take his rancid arse outside.
 
#6
Jack77 said:
I was once a member of a mess where anyone who farted during meal times was fined a slab of beer. Perhaps something similar would be an incentive for this bloke to take his rancid arse outside.
Difficult to imagine anyone ' farting ' at meal times :pukel: what mess was that btw? With the 'old bloke' and the odour free farts , I suspect that with age his sense of smell has gone , although mine doesn't smell now I think of it.
 
#7
Backpacker1uk said:
hobbit said:
Great one After SSE, good to see UK still has its eccentricities and sense of humour. There are a few possibilities for the old chap and at least he does not need a de-odoriser.

• Fit a silencer
• Practice ventriloquy
• Sit with other ‘old farts’ in a special area like ‘farters only’ What fun designing a sign
• Form a ‘farting choir’

Having said that I don’t think I would appreciate sitting near a ‘ farter’, smell or no smell. Far too embarrassing I reckon.[/q

BUY A DOG
A good idea, but DON'T feed it Pedigree Pal Juicy Chunks. I fed mine on that stuff and bitterly regretted it. Had Georgy boy ever found out I would probably had a visit from Uncle Sams Army for being in possession of WMD.
 
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