ARE YOU: IN LOVE, LUST OR MARRIED?

#1
ARE YOU: IN LOVE, LUST OR MARRIED?

LOVE......................when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST.......................when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE............when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

LOVE......................when intercourse is called making love.
LUST.......................all other times.
MARRIAGE............what's intercourse?

LOVE......................when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST.......................when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE............when you argue over money.

LOVE......................when you share everything you own.
LUST.......................when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE............when the bank owns everything.

LOVE......................when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST.......................when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE............what's a climax?

LOVE......................when you phone each other just to say "Hi".
LUST.......................when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE............when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

LOVE......................when you write poems about your partner.
LUST.......................when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE............when all you write is checks.

LOVE......................when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
LUST.......................when you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE............when your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE......................when your farewell is "I love you darling ..."
LUST.......................when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE............when your farewell is silent.

LOVE......................when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST.......................when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE............when you never see each other awake.

LOVE......................when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST.......................when your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE............when your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE......................when nobody else matters.
LUST.......................when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE............when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE......................when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST.......................when it's just the same mushy old shit.
MARRIAGE............when you never listen to music.

LOVE......................when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST.......................when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE............when just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE......................when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST.......................when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE............when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.
 
#4
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
 
#7
I bought my wife a book on How to Woo, for Valentines day, it was only when i got it home i discovered it was an effin Chinese telephone directory.
 
#11
dondon said:
Divorced , :???:
I'm in love, with dondon's avatar, purr!!

Definition of lust. Bloke shags the arse off the splitarse, gets up, wipes knob on curtain and proceeds to leave having gizzed on her arse.
Definition of love. Bloke makes love to his lady (in red, vomitting at this point fellas) gets up, wipes knob on curtain and gets back in bed for a cuddle and a fart against her leg.
Bit of a tip, dont wipe you knob on the curtain at a travel lodge as they are made of plastic and play havoc with your foreskin (if you have any that is, unlike some of us ahum)

NB
 
#14
Divorced, Single and happy and intend on keeping it that way, watch sport when I want, go out when I want.
But best of all I have my kids with me so we have plenty of love and fun. :lol:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#18
one_winged_angel said:
Single sadly nobody wants a 21 yo bootie to be.
Don't worry - your time will come, my son. Join ASRM or become EMF on an LPD and you'll be fighting off the wide-arsed Matelots with a shitty stick!

:twisted:
 

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