Are ALL Ausies Forkin mad?

#1
Pissed myself reading this, now what would make you put a fork inside yer willie?

Man, 70, has 10cm steel kitchen fork removed from inside his PENIS after sexual adventure goes wrong | Mail Online

Doctors from Canberra, Australia, have published a case in which an elderly man 'lost' and entire piece of cutlery inside his body
Man underwent general anaesthetic and surgeons used forceps traction and 'copious lubrication' to remove the foreign body
Was discharged shortly afterwards and was left with no long-term damage
 

Blackrat

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#4
I knew a guy who would place cotton wool buds down his hogs eye and wank, shooting them across the room when he ejaculated. If someone asked him for a cigarette, he would also shove this down his hogs and wave it at the person requesting a smoke. He could also fit an alarming amount of 1DM coins in his foreskin.

He was from Durham.
 
#6
Once saw an xray in Haslar of some matelot who had put an Old Spice bottle up his duck run ... knew it was an Old Spice bottle as the ship motive is in foil and showed up brilliantly!

Another incident involved a chief stoker and his wife's dildo ... the claim was she'd turned it on and shoved it up his duckers only it slipped out her fingers and disappeared into the dark reaches ... Surgeons removed same only the story was he got done for using pussers batteries (but that could have been an urban myth)
 
#8
Dit doing the rounds in Faslane when I wus there, deb brought into the sickbay one night with the wooden bit (remember them) off the end of a gearstick lost up her clacker.
 
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