App Idea

[noshmon]

Sat in the office discussing how to become very rich very quickly and someone suggested writing a phone app. After a few seconds pause I came up with the idea. The office (or rather, the people in it) agrees that it is a great idea and will be backing it, I just wondered if you guys would be willing to find app developers and get your opinions.

The app would be called "Hooker Up". Basically it's a map with GPS integration. Horizontal Refreshment Engineers turn their GPS on and advertise themselves as Available. The punter then uses a search feature (ie. I want blonde, 30-35 y/o, within 5 miles) to find a match. They then book that lady of the night much in the same way you'd book a cab.

Possible update would include a "Pimp" section where it'll tally up takings at the end of the day, and also keep an eye on where "his ho's" are for security reasons only.

Of course, it would have to be branded as a dating app... just with a bill at the end.

I'll try and get a slot on Dragons Den. The bald one who sits in the middle with a yoghurt eaters name would invest.

 

[frogman007]

Love the idea. Out of interest... Are you on the register????

 

[noshmon]

No. Should I be?

 

[frogman007]

Some would. Not me.

 

[MG Maniac]

Thought they alrwady had this ... its called Military XXX!

 

[K640]

Perhaps it could include video streams. For, er, advertising purposes or something...

 

[noshmon]

Perhaps it could include video streams. For, er, advertising purposes or something...

Whey! That's a million pound idea right there!

 

[Rumrat]

Sat in the office discussing how to become very rich very quickly and someone suggested writing a phone app. After a few seconds pause I came up with the idea. The office (or rather, the people in it) agrees that it is a great idea and will be backing it, I just wondered if you guys would be willing to find app developers and get your opinions.

The app would be called "Hooker Up". Basically it's a map with GPS integration. Horizontal Refreshment Engineers turn their GPS on and advertise themselves as Available. The punter then uses a search feature (ie. I want blonde, 30-35 y/o, within 5 miles) to find a match. They then book that lady of the night much in the same way you'd book a cab.

Possible update would include a "Pimp" section where it'll tally up takings at the end of the day, and also keep an eye on where "his ho's" are for security reasons only.

Of course, it would have to be branded as a dating app... just with a bill at the end.

I'll try and get a slot on Dragons Den. The bald one who sits in the middle with a yoghurt eaters name would invest.

White boy,

Ya'll skating on vera thin ice d'y hear.
Me and a few guys from de hood been a seein dis propos,.... this poste,..... the fuckin stupid idea ya'll puttin de heads o the Ho's. De pimp,....er the lady minders, or bodyguards as we like to call uselves is busy wich de vera business ya'll shootin the breeze over.
If'n ya'll see a pink caddy in ya hood den don't be supposin it lennox's big day trip out ye hear.
I got my thumb over a cap wich yore name on it bro.
Ya'll have a good day now, never certan it yo last.
Lookin at ya bro.

 

[noshmon]

I'm nowhere near drunk enough to decipher that but I imagine it to be "Honkey, get the fuck away from my business unless you want a round to the arse".

The third paragraph outlines a bit of the app where you can track your ladies and maybe even do your spreadsheets for dodging the taxman. I could include a taser to plug in to the headphones socket. Most would use it for chasing down punters who haven't paid, but I'm pretty sure 98% of the people on here would use it for sexual gratification.

 

[BillyNoMates]

I would have liked an "App" that made a Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc S instantly transform into a lump of titanium when it sensed that it was about to be run over by the front wheels of a Toyota Granvia 4WD human being carrier. However, seeing as there isn't one - the phone is now a flattened piece of crap. Back to the old LG that's stowed in the front room cabinet I suppose until the insurance company decide what to decide.

 

[2_deck_dash]

Sorry to burst your bubble shippers but this already exists.

Check out Adultwork.

Simple search function and you are presented with a list of slags complete with phots within a certain distance.

Whoring for the 21st century.

 

[noshmon]

Fuck it.

Never mind. Perhaps not being rich is a good thing. I'd only drink and smoke myself into a painful death. Downloading the app now.

 

[Sharkey]

Noshmon, you do know what nosh means in the mob dont you

 

[noshmon]

Yeah, I got this on my introduction thread. It's in reference to before I could say my name (Thomas) I pronounced it nonosh. Mon came from my dad calling me a monster.

I'll keep my mouth shut if I get in. And I don't just mean talking about my nickname... Besides, I bite.

 

[SONAR-BENDER]

White boy,

Ya'll skating on vera thin ice d'y hear.
Me and a few guys from de hood been a seein dis propos,.... this poste,..... the fuckin stupid idea ya'll puttin de heads o the Ho's. De pimp,....er the lady minders, or bodyguards as we like to call uselves is busy wich de vera business ya'll shootin the breeze over.
If'n ya'll see a pink caddy in ya hood den don't be supposin it lennox's big day trip out ye hear.
I got my thumb over a cap wich yore name on it bro.
Ya'll have a good day now, never certan it yo last.
Lookin at ya bro.

That cannot be real nigspeak. There isn't an 'ax' or an 'innit' in it. (See what I did there!)

4/10 must try harder.

 

[Rumrat]

That cannot be real nigspeak. There isn't an 'ax' or an 'innit' in it. (See what I did there!)

4/10 must try harder.

Hush yur mout honkey, watcha know anyways.
ya'll come down the hood and spin garbs, we'll see ifin ya knows modulation.
You bin readin too much shallon white boy.
And your innit is chav speak it dont cut briddies down here.

 

[Sumo]

Sorry to burst your bubble shippers but this already exists.

Check out Adultwork.

Simple search function and you are presented with a list of slags complete with phots within a certain distance.

Whoring for the 21st century.

And you know of the App, how?