apologies men folk!!!!

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by brazenhussy, May 1, 2007.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. sorry lads- but saw these and pmsl!!!!!!!!!!!

    *What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?

    Men always miss them.

    *Why do so many women fake orgasm?

    Because so many men fake foreplay.

    *What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

    Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

    again apologies lads!!!!!!! :D :D :D
  2. 'Tell you what, BH, I'll come and show you that I know where you women keep them, eh?
  3. oohhhhhhhhhhh i say!!!!!!!!!!!! 8O :oops:
  4. Take cover BH! Incoming!

    Things Men want Women to know

    Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

    If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.

    Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.

    Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.

    Please don't drive when you're not driving.

    Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your little stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.

    If you want us to take out the garbage, you have to let us pack the car.

    The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave, he's just not crying. Big difference.

    When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' will do.

    What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.

    When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off- ramp, saying 'This is our exit' is not strictly necessary.

    When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.

    SportsCenter starts at 11:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.

    Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

    If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

    Two hot dogs and a beer at a baseball game do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.

    You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

    Silence does not need to be filled.

    It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

    No, you can't have the remote control.
  5. What a woman says:
    "This place is a mess!
    C'mon, you and I need to clean,
    Your stuff is lying on the floor
    and you'll have no clothes to wear
    if we don't do laundry right now!"

    What a man hears:
    "blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
    blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
    blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
    blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
    blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"
  6. Brazen did a joke book either attack you, or possibly vomit over you this afternoon hun?? :lol: :p
    Personally, as long as I know where my clitoris is, then that's all that matters!!! :twisted: (oh and AA batteries of course!)
  7. stuck in traffic--- so yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  8. When a woman says "Are you wearing that shirt tonight?"

    It means " I dont want you to wear that shirt"
  9. D Cells surely Aussie!!!!!!!!! :lol:
  10. At least it wasnt AAA !!!!!!!!!!
  11. Whats the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

    Men WANT to know where the bar is

  12. ooh typical man!!!!!!!!!!!!

    "why is there a hole at the end of a penis?
    so a man gets oxygen to his brain"!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
  13. The Perfect Day For Him

    0600hrs Alarm.
    0615hrs Bl*w Job.
    0630hrs Massive satisfying sh*t whilst reading sports section.
    0700hrs Breakfast: Steak and Eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, buxom wench, who bends over a lot showing her growler.
    0730hrs Limo arrives.
    0745hrs Several beers en-route to airport.
    0915hrs Flight in personal Lear jet.
    0930hrs Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club(bl*w job en-route).
    0945hrs Play front 9 - 2 under.
    1145hrs Lunch: Steak and Lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.
    1215hrs Bl*w job.
    1230hrs Play back 9 - 4 under.
    1415hrs Limo back to airport (several bourbons).
    1430hrs Fly to Bahamas.
    1530hrs Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying their growlers.
    1630hrs Land world record Marlin (1600lbs) - on light tackle.
    1700hrs Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over naturally.)
    1800hrs Sh*t, Shower and Shave.
    1900hrs Watch news, Michael Jackson assassinated.
    1930hrs Dinner: Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon(1953), big juicy fillet steak, followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of t*ts.
    2100hrs Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game.
    2130hrs Sex with 3 women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending over).
    2300hrs Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer.
    2330hrs A night cap Bl*w job.
    2345hrs In bed alone.
    2350hrs A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.
    2351hrs Laugh yourself to sleep.

  14. he Perfect Day for Her
    A woman's dream...
    8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
    8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
    8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
    9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
    10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
    10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
    12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
    12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
    1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
    3:00 Nap
    4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
    4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
    5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
    7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
    10:00 Hot shower (alone)
    10:30 Make love
    11:15 Fall asleep
  15. Who in the hell gave you my day planner?
  16. Hey Brazen I could give you one of those, fall as leep at 11.15 pm , 8O
  17. anyday babe xxxxxxxxx

Share This Page