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Anyone Remember this?

Rumrat

War Hero
Kenny Everett's poem:-

What would you do without them,
Your knees, your knees,
There's so much good about them,
Your knees, your knees.
Loose them and you'd wear a permanent frown,
You could stand up, but you'd never sit down,
Or join in the knees up with old mother Brown,
Without knees.

Although they may cause much laughter,
Your knees, your knees,
Make sure you always look after,
Your knees, your knees,
Your legs would be pegged from your thigh to your heal,
I bet that would give them a pretty rough deal,
Oh how would you handstand oh how would you kneel,
Without knees.

I mention this only as having had my consultants recommendation back from the hospital on Thursday.
He reckoned surgery is the way forward.
I recon being a coward it sucks, especially as he tells me the general consensus as to why my leg is fucked.
Exercise.
Fuckin Exercises, too much when young, at least too severe a type of exercise.
Fuckin DQ's I recon or pusser in general, keep making me run and double when a vigorous "amble" or concerted "mince" would have sufficed.
Fuckin knew I should have joined the bastard real cavalry instead of the "Dockyard cavalry"

So come on does this fuckin surgery hurt, and remember as a paramedic I hate pain suffering and all things medical that are happening to me.
And I don't want reassurance from Nurses, SBA's or MA's your as big a liars as me with bedside shit.
Let's here from victims, ( I actually meant patients)
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
My sister has just had one knee replaced, she was in agony before the op. and now after 7 weeks is virtually pain free although there is some discomfort, swelling etc. She is getting around using one crutch and walking over a mile at times. There was some pain during the op. though.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
My sister has just had one knee replaced, she was in agony before the op. and now after 7 weeks is virtually pain free although there is some discomfort, swelling etc. She is getting around using one crutch and walking over a mile at times. There was some pain during the op. though.

I'm becoming of the mind the pain is going to be worth it.
I am becoming less ambulant as the days pass, and it's pissing me off not being able to use the gym or deal with tasks I always took for granted.
I've been laying a ceramic floor in a flat and struggle to get up using my left leg.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
I'm becoming of the mind the pain is going to be worth it.
I am becoming less ambulant as the days pass, and it's pissing me off not being able to use the gym or deal with tasks I always took for granted.
I've been laying a ceramic floor in a flat and struggle to get up using my left leg.

Tile the wall then, carpets go on floors cheapskate.

BNM is the knee expert.
 

Sharkey

Banned
You know them cactus you see on shitkickers, the big ones that look like a bloke with his arms in the air full of spikey things, well imagine having one of them rove up your arse, with me so far?, well it hurts more than that.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Tile the wall then, carpets go on floors cheapskate.

BNM is the knee expert.

There stone Tiles really but I fibbed, and people hang carpets on walls anyway.
PM'd Billy about knee no reply so far.
Extreme pain, thank god (and the doctor) for Tramadol and Paracetamol.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
You know them cactus you see on shitkickers, the big ones that look like a bloke with his arms in the air full of spikey things, well imagine having one of them rove up your arse, with me so far?, well it hurts more than that.

I take it you had one done? That bad really?....oh goody.
 

Sharkey

Banned
Had two!, its a painful op but they gave me plenty of morphine and its worth it, before I could hardly walk and after I,m like Lindford Christy, watch out for the physio, mine swung off my leg that much the wound split and put me back in bandages for two months, and go for a full knock out, they insisted on epidurals for me, I've heard less sawing drilling and hamering in Quickfit fitting a new exhaust and shocks
 

johne

War Hero
Steve, I had a complete knee replacement in July last year. The pain was unbelievable for months then it got infected.
Then it went stiff. ( knee I mean ) Was then offered a forced bend to break up the scar tissue. Much pain was told I'd have so declined. Some folks it works for others it do'nt. The choice is yours.
 

Sharkey

Banned
When I said like Lindford Christy, I've no idea why they made my knob this big
 
Last edited:

Rumrat

War Hero
Had two!, its a painful op but they gave me plenty of morphine and its worth it, before I could hardly walk and after I,m like Lindford Christy, watch out for the physio, mine swung off my leg that much the wound split and put me back in bandages for two months, and go for a full knock out, they insisted on epidurals for me, I've heard less sawing drilling and hamering in Quickfit fitting a new exhaust and shocks

Being an abject coward I think a complete "out" would be requested.
Trouble there is because I have had a heart attack I might not get my wish.

Steve, I had a complete knee replacement in July last year. The pain was unbelievable for months then it got infected.
Then it went stiff. ( knee I mean ) Was then offered a forced bend to break up the scar tissue. Much pain was told I'd have so declined. Some folks it works for others it don't. The choice is yours.

This is the dilemma, I have seen and heard just what you say, it can be 50-50, which is OK as long as the ball falls my side of the fence.
If it don't what then?
 

Sharkey

Banned
Being an abject coward I think a complete "out" would be requested.
Trouble there is because I have had a heart attack I might not get my wish.



This is the dilemma, I have seen and heard just what you say, it can be 50-50, which is OK as long as the ball falls my side of the fence.
If it don't what then?

Have you thought of a wooden leg, it would go with the eye patch and parrot shit on your shoulder
 

johne

War Hero
The anethatist tried to give me a spinal block but gave up after several attempts due to severe
arthritis in my spine. It's knackered. Then plan B came in, general which they did not want to do
due to other nastys I have. It took them over 3hrs to revive me. Was told it was a bit T and Go.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Don't give him too much sympathy Sharkey, thats all he is after

:crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby:Well I need some I'm married.
My missus was drummed out the SS for cruelty.
Safeguard. I really am shitting myself about surgery, it's what other people have.^^
 

Sharkey

Banned
:crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby::crybaby:Well I need some I'm married.
My missus was drummed out the SS for cruelty.
Safeguard. I really am shitting myself about surgery, it's what other people have.^^

The only advice I can offer is, ask lucky Johne which Hospital he visited and take your custom elsewhere
 

Rumrat

War Hero
My Doc is an ex crab, and my war office told him what I call ex RAF gentlemen.
He once asked me if I knew who Harold Shipman was.
I asked him if he wanted to see where my faeces came out whilst puckering his lips.
He hates me and now controls the Hospital I would go to.
Stafford is not to far away and they save money on the ambulance back as not too many return.
Gulp!
 
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