Any other strange ones?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Si_Novice, Mar 13, 2010.

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  1. Taking my daily browse through RR I saw the advert down the right side of the screen for an on-line game - Desert Operations I think it was...

    Anyway, it reminded me of my Invite day to watch the Navy dvd etc and one dweeb said he wanted to join because he had been playing one of the online Navy games and thought it would be good!! Numb Nut :evil:

    Anyway, thought I would see what weird and wonderful reason people have come across.................
  2. I joined the Navy because I walked into the wrong building while trying to get some milk. My mum is still looking for me.
  3. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I wanted to drink lots and shag ugly women, for once I'd like to state that I achieved my goals.
  4. The Navy?!

    That's what it was then.
  5. The mists of time are clearing.
    I entered Holburn RN Recruiting Office in 1978 interested in applying for a Physiotherapy training grant/place(In the RN Medical Branch as was. And probably as rare as rocking horse shoite for the unqualified.) having English and History O Levels and good enough science passes at CSE and also wishing to do some sort of Military Service (Well planed from the start, see. :wink: ) .
    I made the mistake of talking to the all too genial RM WO2 Recruiter who spotted a likely numpty, who'd sign on the dotted when offers of 'Helicopter pilot a possibility for ORs' or "You look ilke the type who'd make a good Underwater Knife Fighter"!!
    I'd still shake his hand though, as my time in the Corps gave me an outlook on life which has served me well.
    It could be summed up thusly.
    Get the fook on with it, don't be scared to take a chance and never turn down a wet.
  6. Hailing from Carlisle as I do, you generally have the follwoing choices in life:

    1. Go to prison.
    2. Develop a Heroin addiction.
    3. Work in the biscuit factory, live in a council house and have 14 kids.
    4. Join up.

    I chose option 4 after a particularly humorous and dramatic exit from my job with the Inland Revenue.
  7. It's true, my missus is from Cumbria and she says all people from Carlisle are inbred, drug addled peasants.
  8. She is an astute lady, although she speaks a little too highly of the Cumbrian brethren.
  9. Indeed.

    Back on thread: I really joined the mob because I was rejected by the RAF. Best decision someone else has ever made for me.
  10. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    .. 8O is that a first?
  11. I remember a wren in my entry when I joined up saying to the divisional chief when asked why she joined "To get as much c*ck as she could" Gen dit no sh*t
  12. Basically they offered me Chef or Plod so I told them to ram it. The RAF careers advisor was also an utter penarse.
  13. By God man, the sacrifices you've made for Queen and Country astound me. :cry:
    You could have been a Biscuit Crispness Inspector by now and have an income on the Family Benefit to rival the GDP of the Mongs of Whitehaven.
    I for one salute your noble Service to your Sovereign Queen. :salute:
  14. You fucking homo, turned down by the RAF? Suicide is your only release.
  15. I know. I've thought about it many a time. It's a burden I will have to shoulder for the rest of my life.

    Fortunately I have cocaine to help me get through.
  16. Aye, the Mess Webley seems to be the only Honourable option in this case.
    Either that or 'Readers Wives' phots of all shags (Female.) whilst in displayed in the RR gallery for any chance of pleas for clemency to be considered.
  17. The internet doesn't have the space.
  18. It was either big grey warships or f***ing trawlers. The nice man
    in Hull Royal Navy Recruiting Office said I would get loads of sex
    all over the world, so I opted for the RN, rather than dying somewhere
    out in the North Sea.
    The nice bloke at the recruiting office failed to mention that some of
    this sex could very well involve strange men trying to get you drunk
    and then having a go at sticking their wangers up your bottom.....but
    the killick of the mess on my first ship said this was perfectly normal,
    so I let him get on with it....I did object to being masking-taped to the
    six-inch shell hoist though.
    In hindsight, perhaps trawlers would have been a better career move.
    I heard they only gang-raped new crew members once, and they used
    fish oil as a lubricant.

    Happy days.
  19. I look back with fond memories at my first mess deck raping. The killick of the mess and my sea daddy took it in turns to put things up my hoop while I was black maskered to an uckers table.

    Happy times.
  20. I can only admire your cadour (while laughing my c*ck off!). Start a new thread titled "I confess..."

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