Any close shaves[non combat]

I can think of three off hand but I'm sure some have a lot more.

1.As a young OD on my first ship[Chichester 1st commission] I was passing up clips of 40mm up to the GI to rack on the notorious STAAG mounting[who designed that load of crap and who authorised it's use,even I could see it was shite] when the GI dropped one[a clip!]
I heard a startled noise,I'm not sure from which end of the GI it came from ,and for some reason I stuck out my hand caught the clip in the middle of the the four rounds.
GI went pale and said we were nearly dead there,I know Bofors rounds don't activate until leaving the muzzle and reaching a certain range but I reckon if it landed on the primer we would not have survived.

2.On the Puma a really hot night I got tired of the mess,it was too hot,too smelly and the hammock bar in constant motion as Jack dreamt of Porn and took action.
So,I took my camp bed up to the lookout position on top of the bridge,and kipped.
After a while one leg collapsed,as they did,so up I got, lifted the camp bed[not something to do at 20 knots] and went flying like a kite over the lookout position and crashed into the guard rails. Another foot and I'd have been in the Indian Ocean at 2.00am,the life boat sentry would have been no use as he would be cracking one off in the cubicle as we all did, so, again I was lucky.

3.On the Vic I was the S1 aimer and doing some work on the gun when a plane came in hot with the
undercarriage half down,up came a shower of sparks and it exploded[pilot safe] I popped my head over the flight deck to see who was making all this bloody noise and a piece of metal screamed in and scored the flight deck about a foot from my head. Left a big scar so I would have been minus a head a foot nearer.

Nothing worse than an old seaman reminiscing but just wondered about close shaves and I don't mean Bugis St or the Hong Kong rooftops,they were two places I never survived,what was that drink they gave you when you caught the clap?Mess pot siph or something like that,tasted foul.

Any close shaves?
Like your campbed SF, I was fitting funnel covers to G6 uptakes on the Fife, picked one up and a sudden gust of wind caught the bloody thing and if I had not bailed out I would probably have landed on FLJ.
I've had couple but none were as dramatic as yours. I was in the 4.5 gunbay doing a fairly simple shoot and we were bringing rounds up the hoist from the deep mag. As most of you will know the hoist is hydraulically powered and not to be fcuked with. Anyway as the hoist brings the rounds up you have to wait for the round to reach the top and then it is quite awkward to pull it out through the trap doors. Under no circumstances should you ever insert any part of your anatomy into the hoist prior to the round reaching the top otherwise you will lose that part of your anatomy.

As I stood poised for the next round to come up, the ship changed course suddenly which caused me to fall forward into the hoist just as the next round was reaching the top. My whole arm went into the hoist as I stumbled to find my footing, luckily one of the lads grabbed me and pulled me out as quickly as possible. The round forced it's way up just pressing may hand against the side of the hoist. I pulled the round out and my white anti-flash glove had turned red with blood. All I could feel was a dull throbbing pain.

The Captain of the Gunbay started to flap thinking that I had lost my hand and to be honest, it did look really bad because of the blood on the white gloves. I was scared to remove the glove and see the state of my hand underneath and as I pulled it off it turned out I had lacerated the back of my hand and one of my fingers. There was a lot of blood for just a cut but it healed up fine and I only have a small scar on the back of my hand now.

If I hadn't been for the lad who pulled me out I would've lost my whole left arm.
I mentioned this on a previous thread quite some time ago.

It was winter 1973 during the Cod war, in roughers, off Iceland. The upper deck was out of bounds, but I hadn’t heard the pipe. So, I went to the quarter deck to ditch some gash.

I slipped on some diesel that had been spilt near the Gemini dinghy. The ship rolled to starboard and my legs went outboard under the guard rail. Fortunately we rolled back again and I was able to get myself clear.

I don’t know where the lifebuoy ghost was, probably down below. Anyway, it certainly scared the sh*t out of me. 8O
During an whole ship major fire exercise in 1985 aboard the Ark, we went to the usual Emergency Stations. We had to muster in the aft end of the hanger and I was making my way there, transiting the hanger, needing to go under the after main door (whole width of hanger), which was at chest height.

I was the last one to go through and as I dipped my shoulder to go under, the operator started to fully close it thinking we were all through. It caught my shoulder and knocked me to the ground and continued coming down right on my right thigh. Luckily for me a quick thinking Aircraft Handler saw this and put a metal pole under the bottom of the door to stop it and he also informed the operator to lift the door back up.

I am sure I would have lost my leg if he had not done that and I still have a large indentation on my right leg as a reminder of that day in July 1985.

Yes, the handler was given a call round to the Comms Mess later that week.
2_deck_dash said:
........................gunbay doing a fairly simple shoot and we were bringing rounds up the hoist from the deep mag. .................
I can equate with this, same position in Gunbay, but on cartridge hoist. Capt of the Gunbay (dabtoe of course) operates the foot pedal, and almost chops my thumb off .... cue blood red antiflash glove, and a hurried escort to the sickbay, revealing flesh of thumb hanging off, bare bone, and oodles of blood now dripping on the SB deck. Prob came from my face as they said I went rather white !! Still sporting the scar to this day.

Received a Hurt Cert out of it, but the dabtoe didn't get bolloxed at all. All the laugh was that they shouldn't let supply ratings near weapons !!

As the majority of Seacat crew, shell room and cartridge rooms were manned by S&S - say no more !!

Can laugh about it now, but I can't recall if I was called for a wet by the said Gunbay Captain...... :?
some t.wat dropped a hatch on my head, lots of blood everywhere, on be taken to sickbay we bumped into captains rounds. The rpo told me to wait, the skipper told him not to be so f.ucking stupid
During a transit across the Indian Ocean, we diverted South slightly to cross the line so that those who hadn't yet could meet Neptune. Obviously much beer was consumed throughout the day and merriment and fun was had by all on board. I had the middle on the bridge so I got my head down at a respectable 8pm in order to sleep off some of the booze. Unfortunately the lads had a mess party which didn't help my sleeping. Anyway I lay in my pit for four hours trying to sleep and eventually got up for my watch, knackered and still half cut.

I reported onto the bridge with the QM and Officer of the watch who were both clearly in the same state as me.
As we settled into the watch with me on the wheel, I struggled to stay awake. We spun a few dits to try and pass the time, but within a few minutes it was eerily quiet and my eyelids started to feel heavy.

The next thing I knew I was looking out of the bridge window into darkness. I looked at my watch and two hours had passed. I looked to my left to where the QM should be and he was nowhere to be seen. I looked to my right to where the OOW should have been and he was racked out in the skipper's chair. It was then that I looked down at the gyro heading and realised we were 30 degrees off course. I had obviously knocked the ship out of auto-pilot with my knee while asleep and we had spent the last 2 hours slowly going around in circles at 12 knots with no one looking out of the windows.

Slowly I wheeled the ship back on course and put it back in Auto. I fudged the ships log to update the times and environmental conditions and gently woke the OOW up. When he checked the GPS and realised we were not where we were supposed to be, he started to flap a bit but I explained that the QM and I had done a spot of 'on watch bosun's mate training.' He didn't argue as he knew he was just in the shit as us.

At this point the OOW realised that the QM was missing and enquired where he was. At that very moment he got up from under the QM's console where he had been asleep and said, 'just checking the log Sir.'

Luckily we didn't encounter any other ships that night and even more luckily, no one important came up to the bridge, otherwise it would have been a sneaky bit of jail time for the three of us. We learnt to pay a bit more attention after that and I stopped drinking at sea.
I was on carysfort 65.We dad just left guss for singas .a little exirecise on the way .Iwas down the fwd cordite magazine just about to take the bilge plate off .When bang whooshka.a french sudb had struck us underneath .i shot like a cork out of the hatch out of water put the hatch back on(lift put on screw with T bar shut all the ventilation to the mag down reported to bridge what had happened 9they knew something had hit us but not where .We had to go back to guzz drop our anhors in the sound (or we would not have got over the bar proceeded alongside where we deammunitioned ship.Had to be very creful becuase of the phospherous flares proceeded to dock down there was a great hale some six foot long under the mag .THAT WAS CLOSE TO ME.It gave us an extra month in uk thoug and a few more weekends before puckung our anchors up and proceedigg to the far east
I was stern sheets man for FOST. Early one morning took him out to a ship, cant remember the nationality but it was one of the Arab states. Got along side, bowman tossed up his line the cox had a hard time geting the arseend to as the ship kept manovering. The cox had enough and told bowman to slip cox did a hard to port, the jumping ladder caught the arse end guard rail and just missed my head closely followed by a **** off big fender. Eventually got alongside old man went up followed by the flag Lt who proceeded to give the welcome commity shit
tedbungy said:
I was stern sheets man for FOST. Early one morning took him out to a ship, cant remember the nationality but it was one of the Arab states. Got along side, bowman tossed up his line the cox had a hard time geting the arseend to as the ship kept manovering. The cox had enough and told bowman to slip cox did a hard to port, the jumping ladder caught the arse end guard rail and just missed my head closely followed by a * off big fender. Eventually got alongside old man went up followed by the flag Lt who proceeded to give the welcome commity shit
I used to hate working with Foreign tinpot Navies.

I remember coming alongside in Madras and their tug pilot attempted to tow our ship forward along the jetty while we were going astern. Despite much frantic waiving, blasts of horns and shouting over loud speakers the tug crew just smiled and waved at us as the rope got tighter and tighter.

Eventually the line snapped rebounding into the side of the ship with such force it left a hefty dent. Luckily we had all noticed what was going to happen and everyone was stood clear.

The friction had caused the rope to seize solid onto the bollards and it took fcuking hours to scrape it off.

On a similar rope snapping tangent, I saw a jackstay break during a RAS while we were bringing empty seadart containers across. The container crashed into the focsle, denting the 4.5 and the rope zipped past one of the lads heads. If he had been stood a foot to the left he would have been decapitated.
We are some lucky bastards,not me, but it stuck in my mind,doing a RAS with the WAVE something or other a seaman from the Wave went over.
In between two ships he looked a goner but found a trailing rope and clung on.
He wa screaming with fright as we all would do,and with me there would have been a brown trail aft but,as I turned to my shipmate to ask if anything could be done and was he likely to be toast,he told me not to bother him as he had to go down and get his camera!
Twat!the sailor was recovered with no effects.
2DD. A similar dit to yours, on a fast and deep transit that would take 2 weeks only coming to PD twice a day.

FWD Stoker Control Room watch keeper comes on watch, (JR tech 1 in 4), every one asleep 8O Shakes the Greenie, the RP`s on DCA(before TS`s) the planesman, panel watch keeper SCOW and bumps into the OOW in the Skippers chair and says "sorry sir." No body can say anything without dropping them selves in it . Not on my watch sir, not ever no way sir :oops:


Lantern Swinger
As on-watch MCR stoker I decide to go up top for my 'daily dose of daylight' on Hermes. Straight up to port side catwalk I go, adjacent the deck-edge-lift with ear defenders still well glued to my lugs. Then, 2 yellow coated wafoo's pounced on me within seconds of a Harrier landing only feet from me.
So, just who is this 'Flight Deck Captain' who ripped me a new A hole 15 mins later...?

Not so-much as my near miss but the ship's.
Same ship 'H' in dry dock. I was duty stoker (again) and shore steam was hooked up.
Being in dry dock propped with wooden shores, dockyard regs state no more than a ton is to be moved without written authorisation, for obvious reasons.
Now, this shore steam produced alot of condensed fresh water direct to the Stbd FW Tank and one of my tasks was to pump out no more than a ton of this water every time it reached its' capacity of 25 or so tons.
Morning watch and on my first rounds at 5am I open the valves, switch on the pumps for the 10 min evolution.... only to fall asleep!!!
Hour later I wake up to the sound of a pump grinding dry....THE FECKING TANK IS EMPTY....all 25 tons!!!
I passed brown stuff whilst waiting for a 20,000 ton carrier to tilt sideways in DD at the same time doing all I can to redirect FW to an empty tank. (I swear I heard wooden creaking noises thoughout the ship)
Scott Free I called myself!

'85 at Raleigh Fire School (sh!t hot draft, awaiting release) and an intermediate FF course is well into its paces. I'm duty b&stard throwing dieso in the white-hot ovens trying my damndest to create a backdraught through the deckhead hatch whilst stood outside on the ground floor. All of a sudden I heard (and felt) a gut-wrenching clunk on the deckplate right next to my left boot, followed by a 'BELOW!!'
A really nice guy decided to drop a 2lb solid brass branch (sorry, 'Nozzle' to the RN FF freternity) from the top floor of the tin shed. As this was before the days of tank commander helmets, let alone FF helmets, I just felt utter relief at the thought my brains (few as they are) where still encased.
I think it was Otter in 9 dock Pompey,killick scratcher and his dog are to re-mark the anchor cable at each cable(?ex stoker so that may be wrong) killick is stood a couple of steps up from dock bottom,all is well,shouts up to the scratchers dicky and says"its all clear let her go" meaning let it out slowly one link at a time, but no he took the brake off and let it go,did not hit anybody but scared the living day lights out of all those in the dock bottom! I have no idea how much the anchor and cable weighs on an O boat,but it all got to the dock bottom in about ten seconds!

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