Annoying Rum Ration.(Ho fuckin Ho)

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Feb 3, 2012.

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  1. So I put my house on the market in December and about two weeks later I sold it.
    I should be out of here within three to four weeks.
    I will miss the fact that at the bottom of the cul-de-sac I live in it is countryside, the canal runs across, with a little centry old+ bridge, and then the river running almost parallel about 100 yards away. (Yawn).
    So the bad news for you lot is I am now free as a bird to move anywhere I like as I have both the money, time and inclination to do so.
    AND, I just bought a caravan so I am able to tour around and see where I want to settle.
    Be afraid you lot be very afraid as I know the location of most of you.
    You think the fuckin recession knocked value off your property, well trust me I can do DID or PIKEY, I've studied and took onboard everything you lot have said annoys and displeases you.
    I can be the RR road show travelling around spreading price crashes and annoyance at a level that will make you all wish you were like me Australian, but actually living there.
    Coming to a town near you soon. HO fuckin HH HO HO.:laughing2::laughing2::-D

    Ya'll have a nice day now y'hear.
     
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  2. You rock up within 50 miles of my place in your fibreglass shit box and I'll have you shot.
     
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  3. I don't really live in Spain - just to save you the effort of travelling here, uh, there and trying to find my house!!
     
  4. I have contacts (they were friends til they got to know me) in the police a computer and access to the electoral rolls. Any postal votes will automatically be suspects.
    And informers abound.
    What a fuckin manhunt this will be, better than Malta dogs.
    And a posh fucker who works at a big known gun factory how hard is that going to be?
    You won't know I'm there until the roses twitch and I open fire.
    I'll paint pepper you and then fuck off and mingle at the local horse trader fair.
    This plan is fire proof. Pikeys unite, down with the middle class anal retentive, I'm going to sign on as well, call meslef Shammus Mc 2Deck, or Johnny O'Blackrat the 14th.
    Pikey power!!!!!!!!!
    Fuckin York can get blasted as well on the way up, Stirling will be wishing his chavs back for a bit of culture. Trouble is Cumbria is the county you have to wipe the jock shit off your feet when leaving ain't it. Used to be in Scotland didn't it?

    Portsmouth eh? Fucked if I wanna go that rough, and I'm keeping well clear of Oggy land it's full of Montys and Wreckler, bring the price of me caravan down, even though I'm a black Didi.

    Spain? Please its like a legionaires underpants......full of sand and shit.
    So I'll see some of you soon.
    P.S. If by chance I leave a few beer tinnies on your lawn please put them in a recycle bin, don't be slobs.:laughing2:
     
  5. I was thinking of growing a beard, but if I bump into some of you fuckers you might think I'm being greedy as I already have plenty on my head.:laughing2:
    I want to leave haggis land until last as I wanna see Wits after Independence in the Scots navy, peaked hat and navy blue kilt.
    Finks told me it wouldn't be much different to the skirt he wears already.:laughing2:

    Oh to go a rovin man,
    Rum and beer in a caravan,
    Throw me gash out of the back,
    Oh fuck me what a bastard crack,
    As poor Jim stands there all forlorn,
    With shit and rubble on his lawn,
    2Deck's road blocks all in vain,
    Covered in paint and face of strain,
    Weeping as he stands with dog and gun,
    Wondering where his roof leads gone,
    As Pikey Rumrat speeds away,
    With dosh for beer another day,
    And Blackrat standing "astride" of course,
    But "standing" as I've nicked his horse,
    And with it I'll have "gone to ground,"
    He'll want to ride,.. I'll leave a hound,
    Jesus Christ he'll look a cunt,
    Riding fido to the hunt.
    The Fiat Stilo has to go,
    I need a 4X4 you know,
    Mind I may even get a truck,
    to stow more crap with any luck,
    And when its full up to the brim,
    I,ll pay a little call on "Jim",
    Tyres, fridges, loads of scrap,
    I'll drop him tons of assorted crap,
    And when the coppers come to call,
    They'll have no fuckin luck at all.
    Cus white men always make it plain,
    All us bruvers look the same.:laughing2::laughing2:
     
  6. That's very civilised wits, it's not a trap is it?
    I might take you up on a meet later this year if you're still up that aways, as I need to take the wifie up Perth to see where the tribe started. I want ta be a bonglie.
    Aye and even get me a clatty bint.
    I would hate you and Finks to do me in, I've still got a bottle and half of pussers to get through. I'm sure my three year old niece really would miss "unc Stee".
     
  7. Mate I've travelled the world in never decreasing circles, i was brought up in Oz until I was 12 and have been back bundles of times so know that place well.
    But UK? Well I drove wagons for Christian Salvesen all over but it was tip and back or tip sleep and back so saw fuck all. Drove scabby old coaches all over Uk most you couldn't leave as you couldn't lock so saw fuck all.
    Pusser did it's best to avoid embarrassment and either kept me in DQ's or Tierra del fuego, so in UK saw fuck all.
    So now I'm trappin all over the place for a wee while before dropping the hook wherever I fancy. So standby in the summer and the drinks are on me.
    The auld strangy wifie Pikey.:laughing2::laughing2:
     
  8. So your hittin the road --Jack hehe!

    Am not far from Perth . If you are in a caravan I could park you up . Mind you there are quite a few Caravan parks around here .

    As for touring -well I have seen just about everywhere except the UK so thats what I do for my holidays -now have a camper van but used to have caravans .
    Uk has some amazing places so enjoy.

    G.
     
  9. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Caravan...... Get fucked pikey. Try Essex, it's full of pikeys. :)
     
  10. Rummers. Wherever you go, please don't come anywhere near Rockall.

    Br'er Gazer
     
  11. If your up in the Borders I'll have some clothes pegs and lucky heather from you! there's no loose metal lying around and the only lead is in my pencil!
     
  12. Rockall?
    Fuckin hell mate I've bought a little caravan not a life boat.
    It's a trap isn't it trying to get me there. Jeeze that's fuckin cruel, and I've already been maligned by a fuckin Kiwi who used to wear a spotted suit, and hang around kids.:slow:
    I was always told Kiwi's were the gentle side of the antibides, Blobby you friggin caused failex.:-D
    Good job my caravan aint aquatic, but wait till I get my boat you bastard.
    Captain midnight...:laughing2:
     
  13. I knew there was a reason I liked the River Tamar, so your not coming to sunny! Kernow then Rummers.

    Shame really, as I was out yesterday buying old gin traps.
     
  14. You fuckin thick bastard, everyone knows Gin comes from Tesco's, as if you can catch it, fuckin hell......Janners:laughing2:
     
  15. Wot's TESCO's????
     
  16. It's the English version of Trago mills:-D
     
  17. I've just had a thought, there's some scrap knockin around the dockyard since the defence cuts, is Unicorn gate still manned?
    I wonder....................???????
     
  18. Caravans are banned in Jersey ...
     
  19. Thats OK then,

    'cos Steve's Caravan has a similar ban on Jersey (and any other suchlike outer clothing, too...:slow:)
     
  20. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Sorry about your timing Steve, Caravans are banned south of the Watford Gap, for the rest of the year, due to the Olympics. (They have taken over everything else so this must be true)
     

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