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And god gave me a white brick


War Hero
I have a project in hand and required a white rock.
I came out of my sons flat got into my car and started to head home, suddenly there it was a white rock.
It was lying in the road in a place that must be miles from any other white rock, a sign from god.
I had said earlier to my lad, "god knows where I am going to find a white rock", and he did right in front of my car in the road.
With my white rock on board I set of towards home.
Tamworth is a real funny town, the council have a theory that 2 into 1 does go. They plan the roads based on this theory, and have oodles of places where two lanes go into one. There are many instances where out of towners have become attached to locals cars where the theory is being tested.
( It doesn't work).
So I am trying to get into the nearside at one of these funny junctions and a big white van is forcing me into the face of incoming traffic, accelerating to push me. I am forced to brake hard and dive in behind, very nearly being hit, and am really angry. Then I see it,...a big white rock saying throw me throw me.
So what did I do?
I had no choice a voice said do it you bastard I dare you.
I heaved my brick and as it left my right hand I thought,...oh shit.
It hit the van and very nearly came back and hit me.
He stopped I stopped and got out my car to face the shit I knew was coming.
There it was my white rock so I picked it up.
There he was the van driver, he looked like a cross between the Terminator and big daddy.
He swung at me and I stepped back he hit my shoulder, fuck the pain was horrific.
Then he was staggering backwards, the side of his head bleeding, a groggy, starry glaze in his eyes.
The white rock had swung up and clocked him, it was out of control, and I fought with it to behave and not go again.
He called me a cunt, said I should be on a leash and left.
So me and white rock made our way uneventfully home and he sits looking at me now saying you know I live here now never mind your fuckin project.
Trouble is I ain't so sure I want a vicious rock in my home.


War Hero
Book Reviewer
I had a pet rock once. I loved that rock. It went everywhere with me for years. Then a bit broke off it. It was never the same. I put it in a sack, weighed down with kittens, and threw it in the canal.

Bit dusty in here.
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