Am I cheapskate?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by rod-gearing, Jun 27, 2008.

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  1. Mrs R-G mentioned this morning she wants to earn extra dosh so she can visit her brother in Oz.

    I just happened to say I would pay her for sex at 50p a time(the fare is approx £600).

    Thats works out at 1200 times before she goes in Feb 2009.

    I thought it would help out both parties in the long run.

    She's decided to go on the nursing bank instead.

    Was my price too low and should I up it to 75p? :money:
  2. Just keep going up until she agrees, then you will have set a precedence and can send her down the strip to earn hundreds.
  3. I sent my ex-wife to go stand under the town clock to earn some easy cash, and she came back with £20.0s.6d.

    When I asked her which miserable bar steward gave her 6d......... she said "All of them!"
  4. Dear Mr RG;

    You have failed to see that your obvious genuine offer to pay Mrs RG for a bit of rumpy-pumpy and playing the pink oboe to help her travel aspirations has sadly been taken in the wrong way.

    Mrs RG clearly feels that you have not considered her true worth and she feels upset, hurt and indeed put down by your offer.

    If you were perhaps to offer a range of payments for different services I am sure Mrs RG might feel that you were at least showing an interest in her skills and not simply considering them as a complete package.

    If you are ever in Singapore (again?) my advice would be to wise up before hitting Orchard Towers!

    Aunty McC
  5. I guess your wife forgot to mention that sex or not, you'll be upping the expense/walkingaround/shopping money while she's there...

    Maybe you should be asking her for 75p a pop...
  6. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
    If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
    If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
    If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.
    If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet ... its male indifference.
    If you cry ... you're a wimp.
    If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.
    If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If she asks you ... it's a favour.
    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
    If you don't ... you're gay.
    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
    If you don't ... you're unromantic.
    If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain.
    If you don't ... you're a slob.
    If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
    If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
    If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
    If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
    If she has a headache ... she's tired.
    If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
    If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
    If you don't ... there must be someone else.

    Why do men die first? Because they want to.
  7. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Question posed by a female on a dating website recently:

    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

    And the answer ??

    Dear Pers-432279810:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

  8. I've upped the ante to 85p,offered to do the dhobying and opened a POSB account.

    I await her reply.
  9. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    haha,,,, I tried this tactic six years ago, Mrs wits wanted to visit her nana & papa in Gib. Yes Mrs wits "WORKED HER TICKET" and the wee one starts P1 in august.

    True story, honest, LOL.
  10. You could always just pay for her to go , a few weeks away on hols leaves you home ALONE............ mmmm party time dont you think,

    and when Mrs RG comes home she will be so happy that you gave her a trip away that you will NEVER have to pay for sex again, ( well unless you want very "naughty sex"!!!!!!!!)

  11. Is that 'joke' allowed out without a zimmer frame?
  12. Dear Roddy

    The FreeMarket (TM) solution is to offer an initial high rate on the first occassion then lower the rate by 5% each time until she says "Feck off!". At this point you should raise the offer to the previous price.

    If this option is too expensive then your other solution is to offer to do all the following:

    IF you can clean the whole house daily!
    Do all the dhobeying & ironing
    If you can do all the sewing
    Do all the shopping willingly.

    If you will daily wash the zimmer frames
    And wax the automobile
    If you will do all the cooking
    And wash up afterwards without complaint.

    If you will water the garden
    Mow the lawn, weed and do the pruning
    If you will put the seat down on the loo
    Manage the accounts and make you wife happier too

    And do all this without complaint
    Then you are a New Man my friend
    And your wife will have the energy at night
    To bonk your younger next door neighbour!

    If you can do all this and not once drip
    You are a better man than all the others Roddy
    And as a true woman's aid, will draw a crowd
    Of female admirers wanting your "services".

    Yours ever
    Thingy of Bedlam.

    [Of course my cyber seadad, Uncle Albert could have made this all rhyme. :thumright: ]
  13. I think somehow you'll be waiting a while :thumright:
    Keep on striving.
    But hold on, she should consider what else she gets along with her 85p.
    The satisfaction of having pleased her life partner.
    The benefit of reduced whining (for 5 minutes anyway) from said life partner about sex.
    Some vigourous exercise, ok not a lot of vigourous exercise but it all helps.
    The opportunity to sleep on the wet spot and we all know gents how they love that! :dwarf: :thumright:
  14. I am not sure if this helps, but I have to pay for sex in our house.

    I have a lovely cat with a habit for bringing in rodents and birdies :(

    Whilst I am not happy about it, and do all I can to discourage such behaviour, sometimes there are whole dead thigs. I can cope with that ... just. Then there are the live ones - POS is in charge of those.

    But then there are the partial dead ones, sometimes before breakfast an eviscerated mouse is the last thing a girl needs. Hence the payment!
  15. Rosie the PO Stoker is a gigalo??
    "Ohhhh you lucky bastard."
  16. My house has the odd mouse doubling around, but when the POS was delivered to my doorstep in pink fluffy slippers last year he was so traumatised that the mice giggled as he tried, unsuccessfully to catch them. Oh, if only he had caught one! :drool: ;)
  17. If you are having to think about it then most probably the answer is yes!
  18. Rudyard Kipling must be revolving in his :thumright:

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