Am I a cynical Old Git ?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Scran_Bag, Dec 13, 2007.

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  1. Is it just me, or does anyone else loathe this time of year ?

    All I want to do is nail a bloody big humbug to my front door.

    I'm sick of all this so-called festive goodwill & there's another 3 weeks of it to go yet.

    I get cards from people & relatives that I haven't seen in years & who I don't give a seconds thought to normally.

    Everybody seems to be after your cash. Kids toys cost a bleeding fortune. What's wrong with an apple or orange & a shiny new penny or two for a gift, it was good enough for me !

    The bloody TV is full of adverts for over-priced crap and I don't know how I'll contain my excitement watching the Great Escape again.

    I think I'll just go on a bender & get pissed for 3 weeks and come round after it's all over.

    Does anyone else have the same feelings, or is it just me ?

    :pukel: :pukel: :pukel:
  2. It's just you.
  3. I thought as much.

    Can I ask for a second opinion or should I just start on the humbugs and Stella now ? :confused:

  4. Now that's what is known as the Xmas spirit so a good idea it is. Make sure it's a good drop though or maybe go North where Hogmanay is the thing and Xmas for the kids? Whatever you do enjoy and a Merry Xmas to you , Whoops sorry about that. Seriously, yes,it is too phucking commercial and a PITA
  5. I like the suggestion re the traditions of the North, so I've got myself a cup of tea with a tot of Famous Grouse in it just to start the day off in the correct manner ( and to keep the bloody cold out ) :thanks:
  6. Scran Bag I know just how you feel mate but having three kids I have to grimace and bear it :(
  7. I'm in the same boat Lamri, only worse.

    My 3 kids have 5 kids of their own & they will all be round here sometime over the holidays.

    Now that's torture for you!!
  8. Oh thats dreadful!
  9. Dreadful aint the word for it.

    Now you know why I loathe this time of year & just want to hibernate with my crate of Stella and my bag of humbugs. :pukel: :pukel:
  10. Come to Catalunya mate and see how this time of year should be done.
    But, as far as the UK goes, then you have it about bang on.
    Enjoy the sprouts, you should have them bubbling away nicely for the next week or so.
  11. Oh what a blissful idea - Spain or anywhere warm.

    Trouble is Mrs S.B. always wants a traditional "Family Christmas".

    At least if I eat up all of my sprouts, my farting will keep the Grandchildren away from me. :tp: :tp:
  12. Ah, Sprouts.

    Cook them well in advance and leave to cool.
    Cut them in half lengthways.
    In a frying pan, heat some olive oil and add some smoked bacon lardons.
    When browned add the sprouts and heat until ready to serve.
    MUCH nicer than the usual bleurghh :)

  13. And what happens if they eat theirs?

    Please extinuish all naked lights and turn off unneccessary electrical equipment. :thumright:

  14. Nah - Just the same here mate. Not looking forward to Christmas. 9 days to go and I haven't bought a Chrimbo card yet - let along any presents. Chrimbo decs firmly away in the attic. Crap on the TV .. Havn't even got a dog to take for a walk or blame for the farts caused by overcooked brussel sprouts! Think Scrooge had it ring after all! Humbug!
  15. You grumpy old gits!

    "Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas.

    External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often came down handsomely, and Scrooge never did.

    Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks, ``My dear Scrooge, how are you. When will you come to see me.'' No beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o'clock, no man or woman ever once in all his life inquired the way to such and such a place, of Scrooge. Even the blindmen's dogs appeared to know him; and when they saw him coming on, would tug their owners into doorways and up courts; and then would wag their tails as though they said, ``No eye at all is better than an evil eye, dark master! ''

    But what did Scrooge care! It was the very thing he liked. To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call nuts to Scrooge."
  16. Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

    He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!
  17. Yes but it is 'traditional' in fact much more so than the version celebrated in the UK.
    The main meal is on Christmas Eve, often a big beef stew and lots of bits and pieces; though turkey on account of the South American infuence is becoming more popular.
    Every town will be a blaze of light.
    Christmas day itself is almost a non event and quite low key, more like an ordinairy day.
    Presents and gifts are traditionally given on the 5th January to celebrate the arrival of the three kings, who came bearing gifts.
    Every town has a parade, lead by the kings on horseback, and all the children know the names of their favourite king to give a christmas list to.
    Most school children know the events in chronological order and there will be a crib (including shitting man) in most towns.
    The lights we have at Christmas are more winter festival lights, in honour of St Cecilia the patron saint of fire and music (hence Christmas carols etc).
    Despite being a very left wing and forward thinking state a lot of traditions are still well kept up and done in a meaningful way.
    The hypermarkets on the motorways will of course be jam packed so it is still something of a mixed bag, but at least there is a mixture.
    As for farting, then I have found that sprouts, a couple of large whiskey macs, and some very ripe cheese has the effect of clearing the room and leaving you in peace! If that doesn't succeed add some cold ham and christmas pudding - Good luck!
  18. Thanks for the colourful description of your Spanish Christmas and ideas of what to do with sprouts.

    It reminds me of the worst Christmas time meal I ever had laid before me.

    It was Boxing Day 1971 at HMS Fulmar & the pair of duty "Chefs" were either pissed or hung-over or both.

    Their festive offering was an exotic sprout and turkey curry with burnt rice.It was fcuking awful but there was no alternative.

    No wonder that I look forward to my yuletide sprouts every year.

    :pukel: :pukel: :pukel: :tp: :tp: :tp:
  19. In the mid 70's on HMS Aveley just the two of us were left along whilst the others went on Christmas leave.
    One of our jobs (when we were up and running) was to patrol the coastline between Guzz and Falmouth, whereby we became friends with a lot of the fishermen.
    It seemed our Christmas lunch was going to be tinned beans and horrid pussers sausages, until:
    Along comes a fishing boat and we are handed a sack along with 'Happy Christmas lads, sorry this is all we can spare'.
    Inside the sack were several very fat lobsters and a couple of decent crabs.
    That was one of the best Christmas lunches I have ever had.
    Strange but at the same time as the transfer a couple of bottles of the wardrooms whiskey went missing!
    But, I know nothing as I am from Barcelona!
  20. Christmas Day 1977. Single and far from home (Faslane) but invited down a boat (whose name now escapes me) on Christmas morning for a wee bit of Christmas cheer. After a pleasant session in the after mess we headed off to RFA Grey Rover for even more Christmas cheer. Eventually we staggered back to the inboard mess for Christmas dinner which to our shock and horror was well and truly over. Nibbled a few leftover scraps and crashed out by tea time. :rendeer: :

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