Alzheimer's Test

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by supermario, Sep 20, 2010.

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  1. Alzheimer's Test

    How fast can you guess these words?

    1. F_ _K
    2. PU_S_
    3. S_X
    4. P_N_S
    5. BOO_S
    6. _ _NDOM

    Answers in a couple of hours


    :) :D :wink:
  2. fork

    What do you think they were SM
  3. Close !!!!!!

  4. I had;
    pinks (as in 'carnations')

    other than that, the same.
  5. Looks like I got them ALL wrong :oops:
  6. Alzheimer's. I think I thought I had it once, but then I thought perhaps not, but I was wrong.
    I got all the swear words though. It's an ex-navy thing. 8)
  7. :? fcuk[but correct spelling] puss,pints,boobs, condom. :geek: My location;- standing before an open cupboard wondering what I wanted from it. :?: :(
  8. Thought I might have got a few more answers, but this is what they were looking for:-


    1. FORK
    2. PULSE
    3. SIX
    4. PANTS
    5. BOOKS
    6. RANDOM

    For some reason I had completely different answers


  9. Trick cyclist has a diagnostic session with Jack. For starters he produces set of those randomly ink-splashed cards.

    Q What do see on this first one, Jack?

    A Huge boobs.

    Q And on this second one?

    A Shaven legs.

    Q Third?

    A Nice piece of ar*e.

    Q Fourth?

    A Cameltoe.

    Q Fifth?

    A Full frontal of a nude.

    The trick cyclist expels an exasperated sigh, gathers all his cards and stows them, now it's horoscope time:

    'It seems to me, Jack, that you have an unhealthy obsession with sex.'

    Jack steps back in amazement:

    'WHAT? No way - it's YOU wot keeps turning over all those dirty pictures! 8O

  10. I had some answers I think, but I can't remember if its september or tuesday, maybe a bald cat eat it.
    Did I have tea today 8O :roll:
  11. Not heard that one since the 60's ;-))
  12. I've asked this question before, and never got an answer.
    When I was in the police, we got a shout in King standing in Birmingham to a house where the neighbours were concerned they had not seen the bloke next door for two weeks. He was due a home help visit and would not answer the door.

    So I broke the door open and found him toes up in the living room, where he had died in his armchair. Jesus the stink.
    Anyhow he was a diabetic and had alzheimer's. My question is how did he know he was diabetic on days he was out of it. And the home help said he self medicated daily.
    And do people with dementia remember they smoke?

  13. Much more of this forum and I swear I'll be doing a cameo performance in Stirling's memoirs. 8O :cry: :cry: blue.
  14. So am I and its your round. :D
  15. It really was a good do :D
  16. Gerbils are good for me.
  17. There's a theory doing the rounds that Alzheimers/Dementia are actually just a way that old 'uns get revenge on their kids after years and years and years of bank-rolling them, cooking for them, cleaning up after them and all the other stuff that gets done for them up to the age of about 30 these days. It's just a plot that was hatched by many pensioners over many years in many Rest-Homes.

    Sounds like a good idea to me.

    When they eventually get forced out of the house to stand on their own two feet and have to use a TomTom to find their way to the f***ing's time for dad to turn up at half one in the morning, naked save for a pair of unlaced steaming boots - get let in and wander round their house for bit.....take a dump on the sofa and wipe his arse on the curtains before shambling out to wait by the bus stop for a number 13 to his World War II Anti-aircraft gun emplacement whilst twirling his sons toaster round his head in a vain attempt to kill German snipers, muttering something along the lines of, "I used to be a Leading Stoker in the Royal Mail and I've got an atom bomb in my wardrobe! You stole my f***ing liquorice allsorts you bastard!"
    (or mental ravings along similar lines).

    Then throw next doors wheelie-bin through someones window and get a taxi home.

    Police can't touch you for it.
  18. 21_Man,

    It says somewhere that once upon a time they used to say 'If you remembered the 60's you weren't there'. 8O

    Nowadays they just say 'If you are in yer 60's and cannot remember 'owt you must have Alzheimer's Disease'. :?

    But as I never played away in Germany in 1964 (or 1969) I'm totally content with 'the Old Money terms:

    'Senile Dementia' or 'Marbles, for the losing of.'

    Threbsbay toomorrow, is it still green inside?

  19. I think elephants make good bedding partners. Sorry I meant plants. No sorry again blonds make good plants. Fcuk it I'm going to kill myself again.
  20. When's the test start?

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