All Submariners to be taught Welsh


War Hero
We had a lad in my recruit troop who's first language was welsh, there was only a couple of times his language skills let him down. One time learning the art of being nasty bastards we were getting taught about the claymore mine, the conversation between the Training team Cpl and "taff" went like this...

DS Cpl: "Right then Scrotes, todays lesson is about the Claymore mine"
...Nods of approval....
DS Cpl "The Claymore mine is full of ball bearings, Ball bearing are deemed nasty and there use has been banned by the Geneva Convention so lucky for you lot we've taken all the ball bearings out of the ones you'll ever use and replaced them with small metal spheres."
Recruit Taff...."Corporal, What's a metal sphere Corporal?"
DS Cpl "A Ball bearing"
Recruit Taff "But Corporal, there banned Corporal"
DS Cpl "Down and give me twenty bastards you dumb ****"
Falmouth would be my preferred choice :)
You only want it there as there are all the Falmouth Flooseis'
Falmouth was pusser's choice when we first got bombers.

It's a large deep water harbour with direct access to the open sea, the pollies decided Faslane was better so stuck them in a Loch, then have to negotiate Rhu Narrows and transit the Clyde so every Soviet agent had plenty of time to let Moscow know one was sailing. Gotta love pollies.


War Hero
Falmouth is out of the question now. They are having enough trouble dredging for the cruise liners they want.

Barrow in Furness or Portland.
There is a simple solution ... compulsory purchase Trago Mills in Falmouth, do a bit of tarting up and move the Govt into that building; do a bit of tarting up at Westminster Palace, turn that into the home of submariners, build a couple of jettys into the Thames and ... hey presto, the UKs new home to the silent service.
If it saves shit loads of dosh do you think we could build Hadrian's wall about 20ft higher and redeploy the troops from Bastion.
We could tell the EU its not discrimination, more a mass re enactment.
Discussion on where to site the Bombers
We need a site for the nuclear deterrent, how about the south coast, the south coast!, what if one of them goes off, think of the damage, Cowes, Henley, Royal ascot, the boat race, good god, half the cabinet live in Hampshire, find somewhere up North, how about the East coast, Grimsby?, no, too near the Yorkshire moors, eh?, Grouse man Grouse, ruin the shooting, no, further North, Scotland then? Good idea, when you make the announcement add that we will scrap the licensing hours and the pubs will stay open all day, ok.
Faslane and Guzz have 'X' berths for boats for nuclear work etc, many others (Southampton, Liverpool, Pompey etc) have 'Z' berths meaning nukes can go alongside for short periods and the berths have the facilities required without work being carried out onboard. That's a rough appraisal. the rules are quite long and complex.
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