all posts about the scots

#1
:twisted: here is a wee joke about the view of scots on the English.

3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scotch, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."
So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.
The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water." :hello1: :hello1:
 

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#3
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
Like a Porridge Wog would know what water is...........
Of course we know all about water - after the emount that falls out of the sky on us :( !!!

However, the challenge seems to be in showing various English 'country' gentlemen what soap is used for. (You can include scousers in this :lol: )
 
#4
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
Like a Porridge Wog would know what water is...........
we drink water in a fermented form as it has grater effects on the body including beer goggles that can make the ugliest of jelly ells eating cokney to look half attractive.
 
#6
Tight Scot cnuts

Old Sandy was dying. Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked:
‘Anything I can get you, Sandy?’
No reply.
‘Have ye no’ a last wish, Sandy?’ Faintly, came the answer. . . ‘a wee bit of yon boiled ham.’
‘Wheesht, man,’ said Maggie, ‘ye ken fine that’s for the funeral.’
 
#7
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
 
#9
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
 
#10
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
 
#11
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
 
#13
We're a mad lot...a good friend and colleugue of mine was a lady of Pakistani parentage, asked her if she ever encountered any racism, she said "some, but mostly because of my Yorkshire accent...none because of my great tan!"
 
#15
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
Try being in a Helensburgh boozer during a world cup/euro footie match when England are playing. Never heard a Scot cheer when England won or scored!!!!
 
#16
WreckerL said:
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
Try being in a Helensburgh boozer during a world cup/euro footie match when England are playing. Never heard a Scot cheer when England won or scored!!!!
So true so true :D
 
#17
NorwayChris said:
WreckerL said:
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
Try being in a Helensburgh boozer during a world cup/euro footie match when England are playing. Never heard a Scot cheer when England won or scored!!!!
So true so true :D
ive never heard a Englishman cheer when Scotland score
 
#18
docherty said:
NorwayChris said:
WreckerL said:
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
Try being in a Helensburgh boozer during a world cup/euro footie match when England are playing. Never heard a Scot cheer when England won or scored!!!!
So true so true :D
ive never heard a Englishman cheer when Scotland score
I've never seen Scotland score (predictable but had to done)
 
#19
docherty said:
NorwayChris said:
WreckerL said:
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
Try being in a Helensburgh boozer during a world cup/euro footie match when England are playing. Never heard a Scot cheer when England won or scored!!!!
So true so true :D
ive never heard a Englishman cheer when Scotland score
You started it! :(
 
#20
NorwayChris said:
Trooped_Again said:
NorwayChris said:
Gombear said:
I trust our cousins, north of the border, will be supporting England's endeavours against johnny foreigner" at Wembley this evening. :)
:D Dont bank on it Gombear,if i know the jockanees they will be praying for johnny foreigner to slaughter England :D
Not at all...some of us Scots quite like the Englishstanis...and anyway...you ARE Johnny Foreigner!!
I have nothing against the scots people but thats quite true what you say,i did feel a little uneasy when i was based in Rosyth on the Jersey,just a feeling i got now and then that we ( the Englishstanis) wernt welcome,
I don't think it was anything to do with being English, I come from Edinburgh and was always carteful about drinking in places like Rosyth and Dunfermline
 
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