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Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by slim, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. Security is an issue of national importance. As all normal heterosexual men are controlled by their dicks, they are open to blackmail by the enemies of the state. How many would pass secrets on if their nearest and dearest were to be shown photographs of their exploits away from home.
    For this reason all straight sailors will be dismissed the service. Any attempt to cover up heterosexual tendencies will incur severe penalties.
    To mark this epic change to service life certain changes will be made including:

    1. Uniform re-designed to include brown hat
    2. Marching to be discontinued in favour of mincing.
    3. Double bunks to be installed on new build ships.
    4. Removal of all buggery boards.
    5. The Stewards branch to become the premier branch of the service.
    6. Royal naval anthem Hearts of Oak replaced by a Kylie Minogue song.

    Obviously more changes will be needed and all suggestions will be considered.

    By Order

    Admiral Mincing Smoothly.
  2. Kiss my ring.

    Ooh no, that came out wrong!!
    oh sh*t, so did that!
  3. Looks like you'll be retained than :smile:
  4. Munch my bunch
  5. Another volunteer? :smile:
  6. AAC pack your kit, you're in...
  7. ' Buggery boards' should remain - there is a reason they are called buggery boards.......

    This is an excellent idea, can we also have ships just for females?
  8. Ah F169 this is the new gay navy, buggery boards are no longer needed :smile:

    As for all female ships, no problem but, gay rules rule OK :smile:
  9. Mincing! We'll have none of that thanks! Mincing is for straights trying to impersonate gays! Proper marching and proper saluting and traditional sailors uniforms... :smile: And a hell of a lot more sailors. Every town and village should have at least one! :wink:

    What else...


    Bedtime stories for adult ratings as well as Juniors

    Ribbed monosocks

    Wallace and Grommit satin duvets

    Curtains on all portholes

    Bulkheads painted pretty pastel colours: yellow, blue, green and pink

    Officers to wait at ratings tables all the year round

    Stewards to bring kye to hands at shakes

    RUM RATION TO BE RESTORED and all social customs connected re-established!

    MEN ONLY ships - so we can all walk around in hot weather in our keks!

    :razz: :smile: :smile: :smile: :grin:
  10. What are buggery boards, by the way? :???:
  11. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    George Michael as 1SL.........
  12. You aren't real...... are you?
  13. Remember the gangplank that pirates used to make people walk into the sea?
    Well, a buggery board is slang for the plank that we made queers in the navy walk before they went to their watery grave
  14. Steve a buggery board is a metal partition between two single bunks which have been fitted adjacent to one another lengthwise. if this was removed it would be like two single beds pushed together.
    Obviously not needed in the new gay navy and probably highly sought after.
  15. Lingyai - you dont think they had holes in them to save weight do you?!
  16. women only ships!!!!!!?
    OMG could you imagine that 170 odd women all synchonised?!!!
    steer well clear of that ship 1 week out of 4......... :)
  17. Yes but what a great week to send the ship into a war zone. No oppposition! :smile:
  18. Lingyai - why do you think they had holes in them it wasnt to save topweight?!

  19. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

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