Security is an issue of national importance. As all normal heterosexual men are controlled by their dicks, they are open to blackmail by the enemies of the state. How many would pass secrets on if their nearest and dearest were to be shown photographs of their exploits away from home. For this reason all straight sailors will be dismissed the service. Any attempt to cover up heterosexual tendencies will incur severe penalties. To mark this epic change to service life certain changes will be made including: 1. Uniform re-designed to include brown hat 2. Marching to be discontinued in favour of mincing. 3. Double bunks to be installed on new build ships. 4. Removal of all buggery boards. 5. The Stewards branch to become the premier branch of the service. 6. Royal naval anthem Hearts of Oak replaced by a Kylie Minogue song. Obviously more changes will be needed and all suggestions will be considered. By Order Admiral Mincing Smoothly.