All Gay Navy

slim

War Hero
Security is an issue of national importance. As all normal heterosexual men are controlled by their dicks, they are open to blackmail by the enemies of the state. How many would pass secrets on if their nearest and dearest were to be shown photographs of their exploits away from home.
For this reason all straight sailors will be dismissed the service. Any attempt to cover up heterosexual tendencies will incur severe penalties.
To mark this epic change to service life certain changes will be made including:

1. Uniform re-designed to include brown hat
2. Marching to be discontinued in favour of mincing.
3. Double bunks to be installed on new build ships.
4. Removal of all buggery boards.
5. The Stewards branch to become the premier branch of the service.
6. Royal naval anthem Hearts of Oak replaced by a Kylie Minogue song.

Obviously more changes will be needed and all suggestions will be considered.

By Order

Admiral Mincing Smoothly.
 

F169

War Hero
' Buggery boards' should remain - there is a reason they are called buggery boards.......

This is an excellent idea, can we also have ships just for females?
 

slim

War Hero
F169 said:
' Buggery boards' should remain - there is a reason they are called buggery boards.......

This is an excellent idea, can we also have ships just for females?
Ah F169 this is the new gay navy, buggery boards are no longer needed :smile:

As for all female ships, no problem but, gay rules rule OK :smile:
 
Mincing! We'll have none of that thanks! Mincing is for straights trying to impersonate gays! Proper marching and proper saluting and traditional sailors uniforms... :smile: And a hell of a lot more sailors. Every town and village should have at least one! :wink:

What else...

Hammocks

Bedtime stories for adult ratings as well as Juniors

Ribbed monosocks

Wallace and Grommit satin duvets

Curtains on all portholes

Bulkheads painted pretty pastel colours: yellow, blue, green and pink

Officers to wait at ratings tables all the year round

Stewards to bring kye to hands at shakes

RUM RATION TO BE RESTORED and all social customs connected re-established!

MEN ONLY ships - so we can all walk around in hot weather in our keks!

:razz: :smile: :smile: :smile: :grin:
 
F169 said:
' Buggery boards' should remain - there is a reason they are called buggery boards.......

This is an excellent idea, can we also have ships just for females?
You aren't real...... are you?
 
Always_a_Civvy said:
What are buggery boards, by the way? :???:
Remember the gangplank that pirates used to make people walk into the sea?
Well, a buggery board is slang for the plank that we made queers in the navy walk before they went to their watery grave
 

slim

War Hero
Always_a_Civvy said:
What are buggery boards, by the way? :???:
Steve a buggery board is a metal partition between two single bunks which have been fitted adjacent to one another lengthwise. if this was removed it would be like two single beds pushed together.
Obviously not needed in the new gay navy and probably highly sought after.
 

jesse650

War Hero
women only ships!!!!!!?
OMG could you imagine that 170 odd women all synchonised?!!!
steer well clear of that ship 1 week out of 4......... :)
 

slim

War Hero
jesse650 said:
women only ships!!!!!!?
OMG could you imagine that 170 odd women all synchonised?!!!
steer well clear of that ship 1 week out of 4......... :)
Yes but what a great week to send the ship into a war zone. No oppposition! :smile:
 
slim said:
jesse650 said:
women only ships!!!!!!?
OMG could you imagine that 170 odd women all synchonised?!!!
steer well clear of that ship 1 week out of 4......... :)
Yes but what a great week to send the ship into a war zone. No oppposition! :smile:

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
soleil Western Daily Press: "Devonport To Host Navy's First Gay Wedding Party" Bases / Shore Est 101
Seadog Navy Gay Chatline type ads Site Issues 33
soleil "Navy's Gay-Friendly Efforts Make It One Of Britain's Top 100 Employers" Current Affairs 61
Leatherland_NJ Brass Eye Gay Navy Diamond Lil's 0
soleil Hereford Times: "Gay surname change before man joins Navy" Current Affairs 30
lukep Brass Eyes ''Gay Navy'' Diamond Lil's 6
Chaz Brass Eye, Gay Navy! Diamond Lil's 0
slim Royal Navy searching for gay recruits Diamond Lil's 14
JockJack Them bloody gay jokes Diamond Lil's 30
sgtpepperband Psychology Today: "Homophobic Men Most Aroused by Gay Male Porn" Current Affairs 13
superpom Gay Pride Flag flown at Canadian Forces Base, Edmonton Alberta Canada today Diamond Lil's 1
2_deck_dash Booties - Not gay. Safeguard. Diamond Lil's 4
janner Scouser and the gay man Miscellaneous 1
F Gay beasts The Gash Barge 29
Polycell Two Years Wait For the Outrage Bus (Gay Pride) The Gash Barge 60
Chaz As gay as it gets! Diamond Lil's 8
wet_blobby What's all this gay sh1t? Diamond Lil's 15
NotmeChief Gay Bishops Diamond Lil's 3
daffy1 RAF recognised as top lesbian, gay and bisexual employer Current Affairs 4
G Yanks - Gay, gay, gay. Diamond Lil's 50
Blackrat Gay for Pay? Diamond Lil's 54
2_deck_dash I think I've caught the gay again. Diamond Lil's 38
whitemouse HMS Gay Archer History 2
Rodgersthecabinboy Gay Wedding,help wanted!! Diamond Lil's 32
stan_the_man Antony village shocked by gay triste revelations Diamond Lil's 15
T Can Hot Bunking make you gay? The Gash Barge 21
Montigny_La_Palisse RAF at the Edinburgh gay-off- Their own worst enemies Diamond Lil's 11
Montigny_La_Palisse Think Bruno's funny? He's not a patch on Hard Gay. Hooo! Diamond Lil's 7
slim Tory and Labour at loggerheads over who more gay- friendly Diamond Lil's 7
S Gay Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 25
N Gay Class Fast Attack Craft The Quarterdeck 22
M to GAY or not to GAY that is the question Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 62
D Attitude towards gay service men & women The Gash Barge 139
T Gay? At HMS Sultan? The Gash Barge 179
Oil_Slick HARD GAY MAN!!!! Diamond Lil's 5
slim Of course Tintin's gay. Ask Snowy Diamond Lil's 20
BillyNoMates The "Gay"sh Barge? Diamond Lil's 30
Joint_Force_Harrier Gay Pride March Diamond Lil's 197
5dits RM - Gay Icon Diamond Lil's 17
clanky MOD censorship of gay Ganges Norman Arthur iPod The Quarterdeck 7
wet_blobby Have the Guards turned Gay? Diamond Lil's 9
slim JK Rowling outs Dumbledore as gay Diamond Lil's 17
brazenhussy enough gay stuff Diamond Lil's 120
trehorn Gay foster parents abused young boys The Gash Barge 19
sgtpepperband Support Gay Marriage Diamond Lil's 38
D ''BUM RATION '' All gay posts in here! Diamond Lil's 53
brigham600 Gay Pride Diamond Lil's 11
N Army Chief Apoplectic over Wearing Uniform, Gay Pride March Current Affairs 155
W Gay bomb Diamond Lil's 10
slim Poland to probe if Teletubbies are gay Diamond Lil's 19
Similar threads





























Gay





















Top