Ah well ( fuckin don't snigger Rumrat)

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Rumrat, Mar 9, 2013.

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  1. I lent the war offices new mountain bike to a "reformed" jailbird so he could get to work on nights at his new warehouse job.
    It cost me £300, and was mint.
    He started work 6 weeks before Crimbo and reputedly got the sack when his CRB came back loaded.
    So on hearing this I asked for bike back.
    Three weeks later I ask again and get told he did but I was out. Loada bollocks.
    Twice more asked, twice more excuses and bullshit, but hard to make threats as you will see.
    My oppo asks me about progress down the pub, and his son and sons oppo are earwiggin.
    I told them that now the bike is supposedly stolen from who I lent it to.
    The bike is unusual as it is not a standard bike and it is a distinct colour.
    The bike is tonight in my shed. My mates son and oppo took it from a twat ridding it up a road late the night before last, they gave the rider a good slap. They are both in the army.
    Today I met my nephew the lad I lent the bike to.
    He was battered to fuck.
    I'm showing him the bike tomorrow.
    HO ho ho fuckin ho.
     
  2. See what happens when you try to be nice, you choose your friends but not your family, take a photo of his face when you show him the bike, then look at it now and again to remind yourself of how big a plonker you were?:laughing5:
     
  3. Fucking hell, give some people an inch and they take a mile
     
  4. He didn't have a three stage extending ladder on him when he was cycling by any chance?
    I lent mine out to some bastard yonks ago, but can't remember who it was. And I'm missing
    a pressure washer, a De Walt circular saw, a set of SDS drill bits and six hammers.

    If you see him again, stick the nut on him and ask to look in his shed please?
     
  5. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    My Granny used to say, 'Never a borrower or a lender be.'

    Meanwhile, with bikes, always take a note of the barrel number stamped under the bit the pedals' axle goes through. Then if the bike does go missing and turns up later one can prove ownership. Also helpful if local Plod so offer is to have one's postcode stamped on the bike.

    Sorry to be so boringly serious. Pleased to see that the miscreant was helped to see the light.
     
  6. The North Yorkshire Constabulary run an electronic tagging scheme up here. Periodically they park up somewhere handy, you take your bike down, remove the saddle, and they drop a gizmo down the seat tube which will identify you as the owner if the bike is picked up (as in someone else's shed) when they run their scanner over it. The gizmo is so designed as to make it virtually impossible to remove. Should you wish to sell/give away the bike there is a set of paperwork supplied at the time of fitting that enables you to transfer the right of ownership and register the new owner with the scheme.
    Both my bikes are also fitted with a tamper alarm that makes the same noise as a car alarm - it's made a few people jump when I've "tested" it outside the supermarket.


    2BM
     
  7. What a lovely thing to do, Rum. Trying to help the lad get back on track.

    While I admire the practical bent of posts on this one, Rat did lend his prized possession to a rellie.......same rules should not apply although in this case, he was well and truly shat on.

    Were drugs/booze ever involved ? If so,forget it -doesn't matter who they are - space cadets can barely find themselves in the morning, let alone a £300 bike or a decent set of values.

    Glad you (cough) had it returned.:tongue4:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Speak for yourself sweetheart, some of us couldn't "take a mile".....:winkrazz:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Did
    your local plod get wind that Rummers had lost his bike and was on the lookout
    for another one has it was not his to lose in the first place, so they started
    the stop Rumrat and any fat twat from Tamworth nicking your bike electronic
    tagging scheme
    :laughing5:
     
  10. What's with all this shit about Tamworth! I well remember being sent on an exped by our mum to the zoo! Of course we had to walk five miles there and back but that was standard in the day!

    Tamworth zoo had some great open air swimming pools!
     


  11. Subject to frequent flooding then?
     
  12. Do you not think it’s a bit mean to call the Ankerside Shopping Centre a zoo, the locals of Tamworth cannot help how they look.:puker:
     

  13. Matey Tamworth Zoo as you call it is part of Drayton Manor Park.
    It doesn't have a swimming pool,.. those ugly kids that were swimming with you were probably the inhabitants of the Sea Lion Pool.
    Just up the road though is the site of the Lido, where I have spent many a happy hour in the middle of the night both swimming and er,....doing sexual push ups.
     
  14. I very near pissed myself today when the following story was told me.
    Right the bike I lent to the wife's nephew, he apparently sold to some acquaintance of his.
    When I kept asking for it back he ( I am told ) got the wind up and stole it back so as to return it to me.
    He was intercepted before he could achieve this goal and got the slapping from my oppos son and his mate.
    BUT:-
    Today I was told that the nephew spent the weekend in the George Elliot hospital in Nuneaton.
    The geezer he sold it to and subsequently stole it back from found out and gave him another slap.
    This just gets better.:laughing5:
     
  15. Do you think he may have lerned a valuable lesseon do not mess with the Rrat?
    Sodding cracking story you should write a book:salut:
     

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