Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Ah well ( fuckin don't snigger Rumrat)

Rumrat

War Hero
I lent the war offices new mountain bike to a "reformed" jailbird so he could get to work on nights at his new warehouse job.
It cost me £300, and was mint.
He started work 6 weeks before Crimbo and reputedly got the sack when his CRB came back loaded.
So on hearing this I asked for bike back.
Three weeks later I ask again and get told he did but I was out. Loada bollocks.
Twice more asked, twice more excuses and bullshit, but hard to make threats as you will see.
My oppo asks me about progress down the pub, and his son and sons oppo are earwiggin.
I told them that now the bike is supposedly stolen from who I lent it to.
The bike is unusual as it is not a standard bike and it is a distinct colour.
The bike is tonight in my shed. My mates son and oppo took it from a twat ridding it up a road late the night before last, they gave the rider a good slap. They are both in the army.
Today I met my nephew the lad I lent the bike to.
He was battered to fuck.
I'm showing him the bike tomorrow.
HO ho ho fuckin ho.
 

Sumo

War Hero
See what happens when you try to be nice, you choose your friends but not your family, take a photo of his face when you show him the bike, then look at it now and again to remind yourself of how big a plonker you were?:laughing5:
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
He didn't have a three stage extending ladder on him when he was cycling by any chance?
I lent mine out to some bastard yonks ago, but can't remember who it was. And I'm missing
a pressure washer, a De Walt circular saw, a set of SDS drill bits and six hammers.

If you see him again, stick the nut on him and ask to look in his shed please?
 

Seaweed

War Hero
Book Reviewer
My Granny used to say, 'Never a borrower or a lender be.'

Meanwhile, with bikes, always take a note of the barrel number stamped under the bit the pedals' axle goes through. Then if the bike does go missing and turns up later one can prove ownership. Also helpful if local Plod so offer is to have one's postcode stamped on the bike.

Sorry to be so boringly serious. Pleased to see that the miscreant was helped to see the light.
 

2badge_mango

War Hero
The North Yorkshire Constabulary run an electronic tagging scheme up here. Periodically they park up somewhere handy, you take your bike down, remove the saddle, and they drop a gizmo down the seat tube which will identify you as the owner if the bike is picked up (as in someone else's shed) when they run their scanner over it. The gizmo is so designed as to make it virtually impossible to remove. Should you wish to sell/give away the bike there is a set of paperwork supplied at the time of fitting that enables you to transfer the right of ownership and register the new owner with the scheme.
Both my bikes are also fitted with a tamper alarm that makes the same noise as a car alarm - it's made a few people jump when I've "tested" it outside the supermarket.


2BM
 

Taloolah

Banned
What a lovely thing to do, Rum. Trying to help the lad get back on track.

While I admire the practical bent of posts on this one, Rat did lend his prized possession to a rellie.......same rules should not apply although in this case, he was well and truly shat on.

Were drugs/booze ever involved ? If so,forget it -doesn't matter who they are - space cadets can barely find themselves in the morning, let alone a £300 bike or a decent set of values.

Glad you (cough) had it returned.:tongue4:
 

Sumo

War Hero
The North Yorkshire Constabulary run an electronic tagging scheme up here. Periodically they park up somewhere handy, you take your bike down, remove the saddle, and they drop a gizmo down the seat tube which will identify you as the owner if the bike is picked up (as in someone else's shed) when they run their scanner over it. The gizmo is so designed as to make it virtually impossible to remove. Should you wish to sell/give away the bike there is a set of paperwork supplied at the time of fitting that enables you to transfer the right of ownership and register the new owner with the scheme.
Both my bikes are also fitted with a tamper alarm that makes the same noise as a car alarm - it's made a few people jump when I've "tested" it outside the supermarket.


2BM

Did
your local plod get wind that Rummers had lost his bike and was on the lookout
for another one has it was not his to lose in the first place, so they started
the stop Rumrat and any fat twat from Tamworth nicking your bike electronic
tagging scheme
:laughing5:
 

Rocksteady

Lantern Swinger
What's with all this shit about Tamworth! I well remember being sent on an exped by our mum to the zoo! Of course we had to walk five miles there and back but that was standard in the day!

Tamworth zoo had some great open air swimming pools!
 

Sumo

War Hero
What's with all this shit about Tamworth! I well remember being sent on an exped by our mum to the zoo! Of course we had to walk five miles there and back but that was standard in the day!

Tamworth zoo had some great open air swimming pools!

Do you not think it’s a bit mean to call the Ankerside Shopping Centre a zoo, the locals of Tamworth cannot help how they look.:puker:
 

Rumrat

War Hero
What's with all this shit about Tamworth! I well remember being sent on an exped by our mum to the zoo! Of course we had to walk five miles there and back but that was standard in the day!

Tamworth zoo had some great open air swimming pools!


Matey Tamworth Zoo as you call it is part of Drayton Manor Park.
It doesn't have a swimming pool,.. those ugly kids that were swimming with you were probably the inhabitants of the Sea Lion Pool.
Just up the road though is the site of the Lido, where I have spent many a happy hour in the middle of the night both swimming and er,....doing sexual push ups.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
I very near pissed myself today when the following story was told me.
Right the bike I lent to the wife's nephew, he apparently sold to some acquaintance of his.
When I kept asking for it back he ( I am told ) got the wind up and stole it back so as to return it to me.
He was intercepted before he could achieve this goal and got the slapping from my oppos son and his mate.
BUT:-
Today I was told that the nephew spent the weekend in the George Elliot hospital in Nuneaton.
The geezer he sold it to and subsequently stole it back from found out and gave him another slap.
This just gets better.:laughing5:
 

Sumo

War Hero
I very near pissed myself today when the following story was told me.
Right the bike I lent to the wife's nephew, he apparently sold to some acquaintance of his.
When I kept asking for it back he ( I am told ) got the wind up and stole it back so as to return it to me.
He was intercepted before he could achieve this goal and got the slapping from my oppos son and his mate.
BUT:-
Today I was told that the nephew spent the weekend in the George Elliot hospital in Nuneaton.
The geezer he sold it to and subsequently stole it back from found out and gave him another slap.
This just gets better.:laughing5:

Do you think he may have lerned a valuable lesseon do not mess with the Rrat?
Sodding cracking story you should write a book:salut:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Rumrat Annoying Rum Ration.(Ho fuckin Ho) Diamond Lil's 44
Rumrat Seen Off by a fuckin Meerkat Diamond Lil's 5
Rumrat Fuckin twats. Diamond Lil's 13
Rumrat What do you want... a fuckin medal ? Diamond Lil's 3
T Work does my fuckin head in..... RMR 20
MoD_RSS Don’t be a Space Invader: stay safe, stay back MoD News 0
MoD_RSS British Embassy Warsaw launches 'Don't Become a Victim of Modern Slavery' campaign MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t get Petfished: Vets and celebrities lead public warnings against ‘cruel and opportunist’ lockdown pet sellers  MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t rely on temperature screening products for detection of coronavirus (COVID-19), says MHRA MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t call us – we’ll call you MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t miss out, claim Child Benefit by phone or post, HMRC tells new parents MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Update on 'Do’s and Don’ts' of completing an application to incorporate a CIC to include 'Online' applications MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Alec Don named as new DECA Chairman MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Summer fun – don’t fake it! MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t Blow It! Phase 2 Launch Event MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Don't Blow it! Collaboration Day MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Please don’t waste this moment MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Don’t miss out on Help to Save MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: I don’t want you to panic MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: ‘Don’t be a Space Invader’ - says former ‘Stig’ Ben Collins MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Salmon found in River Don at Sheffield MoD News 0
Ballistic Like/funny/don't like etc. facility not working. Site Issues 13
MoD_RSS Press release: Crack down on suppliers who don’t pay on time MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Defence and Security Accelerator Dial-in: Don't Blow It! MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: "You don't recruit an arsonist to put out a fire. You especially don't do that when the fire is one they caused." MoD News 0
vauxhall Don't forget to claim your pension! Finance & Pensions 5
MoD_RSS News story: Notice of competition launch 'Don't Blow It! Safely eliminating munitions on the battlefield MoD News 0
vauxhall Don't get caught out .. Finance & Pensions 21
fishhead Don't mention the war Boris Current Affairs 11
H Why don't they increase supplies of food on submarines? Submariners 60
Stirlin Don't try this at home. Sports and Adventure Training 3
Passed-over_Loggie Don't Eat The Snow! Diamond Lil's 0
MG Maniac Don't get caught fancying pigeons! Diamond Lil's 8
SONAR-BENDER Yippee! Don't need to come up the beach! Diamond Lil's 0
P I just don't get those defending the "Joint" F-35 concept The Fleet Air Arm 28
finknottle Tories;don't you just love them! The Gash Barge 57
F Don't panic Captain Mainwaring Diamond Lil's 24
soleil So the Septics don't think we're up to it! Current Affairs 68
S Don't ask Don't tell Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 3
daffy1 Don't get mad, make hot wets and biscuits. Current Affairs 1
scouse The Jocks don't want the Sundodgers Submariners 8
soleil Defence Management Journal: "MoD Admits 'We Don't Know' Over F-35B Fighter Problems" The Fleet Air Arm 7
Ninja_Stoker Pompey Diving Team don't have a boat shocker Diamond Lil's 9
trelawney126 Asking directions in London.....Don't bother The Gash Barge 15
Rumrat Not for the religiouse.... don't look, honestly. Diamond Lil's 2
Seaweed 'History' Threads Don't Paint in 'Last 50' Site Issues 2
finknottle I don't Believe It! Current Affairs 37
F Don't panic, they don't like it up 'em ! Current Affairs 24
broadside They just don't get it do they? Current Affairs 23
soleil Sun: "Nuke Test That Says: Don’t Mess With The UK" Submariners 5
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top