Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Nutty, May 14, 2008.

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  1. If the cap fits


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D -

    Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.



    This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my garden.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

    I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage,

    I notice mail on the porch table that

    I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table,

    put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

    and notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back

    on the table and take out the garbage first.

    But then I think,

    since I'm going to be near the mailbox

    when I take out the garbage anyway,

    I may as well pay the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table,

    and see that there is only one check left.

    My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

    so I go inside the house to my desk where

    I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks,

    but first I need to push the Coke aside

    so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Coke is getting warm,

    and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

    a vase of flowers on the counter

    catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Coke on the counter and

    discover my reading glasses that

    I've been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk,

    but first I'm going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down on the counter,

    fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

    Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

    I'll be looking for the remote,

    but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

    so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

    but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers,

    but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table,

    get some towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to

    remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day:

    the car isn't washed

    the bills aren't paid

    there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

    the flowers don't have enough water,

    there is still only 1 check in my check book,

    I can't find the remote,

    I can't find my glasses,

    and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

    and I'm really tired.

    I realize this is a serious problem,

    and I'll try to get some help for it,

    but first I'll check my e-mail.


    Do me a favor.

    Forward this message to everyone you know,

    because I don't remember who

    the hell I've sent it to.

    Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet,

    your day is coming!
     
  2. OMG It's me

    I blame it on my age but SWMBO states it is the Pussers Rum

    Two bottles a week and aged 22

    Who is right

    Jack McHammocklashing
     
  3. My sympathies but fcuk me thats funny.
     
  4. I think my wife has started to suffer with it,her attention span decreases each day.
    When driving I tell her to turn right,she turns left,locks my walking sticks in the car and marches off with me hanging off the roof rails.
    When asked why she says she was thinking about sweet potatoes ??????.

    Mind you she is blonde!

    Standing by for incoming.
     
  5. My nan spent a whole day looking for her specs once and found them in the fridge!! nice and frosty

    lmao
     
  6. Sounds like joined-up thinking to me. Don't all of us do this?
     


  7. ........er.......do what?
     
  8. Cant remember, er where was I?
     
  9. Where were you? I don't know. I'm not even sure where I am at the moment, or... er... what I should be doing...




    working perhaps? ;)
     
  10. Nutty,
    That's called multitasking, and it's what women claim they are good at.

    No wonder a woman's work is never done.
     
  11. I think that it all started when Daddy refused to take me to the Circus. . . . . .

    Oh, sorry, wrong thread.

    Jerry
     
  12. In fact, wrong web site.

    Jerry
     

  13. Don't Rosie see that message! o_O o_O o_O

    Then again, I forget, you're a BRAVE matelot. :whew:
     
  14. Women multitask because they can't prioritize :muhaha:
     
  15. This subject is extremely serious and... ooh look! A robin.
     

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