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Advice Required Chaps - Baby On the Way


Hi guys,
I've been sitting on some info recently that has had me questioning the best way to proceed with my military career.
I found out a couple of weeks ago that the missus is pregnant again and our due date is mid September.
After a lot of debating and emotional talks between each other we have decided to go ahead with the pregnancy despite it being completely out of the blue and unplanned.

I currently have an application for the marine reserves but recently had decided to apply for full time, hoping for a PRMC date of July to get myself upto scratch.

This creates a big headache for me, the wife wants me to stick around for the first 6 months to help her with the baby and assist our other kids in settling into their new routine - which is fair enough - and I think this is the right thing to do as it is a handful bringing up a baby, especially with a couple other little ones on the go - which takes us through to approximately this time next year (when I will be 31).

Now here is the quandry.
If I was to continue my application full tme I would hope to get a PRMC of July-ish and hopefully all going well an RT date of September/October - which obviously clashes with the due date.

The missus also wants to be sure that she can cope with me being away from home for periods of time and I thought continuing my application with the marine reserves would be best - however the selection weekend is October and with a new baby coming into the house im sure my training will dip for a couple of months around then.

So here is my options as far as I can see it...

lots of cons with this - it is a long time to keep training away and we will be thrown in at the deepend if the missus cannot cope with me being away at RT (if all goes well with PRMC etc).

Pros are it gets me an insight into marine life whilst still being around the house enough to help with the kid.
Cons are - for a couple of months, at the vital time, my training time is bound to take a dip with the new born.
No pay during training or any holding troop until October (money was never an issue but any extra is bound to help with new baby things).
I would be looking to join full time if all went well in Feb/March which means only around 5 months reserve service which might look like im taking the michael somewhat.

Pros are it gives me an insight into military life, i can get started in a week or two and get alternate weekends away and 2 weeks away to see how the family operate without me.
I would get paid so can put into a 'baby fund'.
Cons are - its not the marines and I dont really know overly much about the army as its all marines marines marines in my napper.
If everything went smoothly and I decided to start a fresh application for marines (or even reg army as you can never be sure what the year ahead holds) next feb / march i would have only been in the TA for one year.

The AFCO may frown upon this as well.

Im really genuinely confused, unlike young single lads, guys of my age with a family have to be sure that we are doing the right thing - giving up a job and moving your family and being away from them you have to be sure that everyone can cope with your absence.
To be fair we are pretty sure as I work away a lot anyway but we have to be 100%

On the plus side myself and my wife both equally want a military career for me so I have great family support, at the same time we have to be both sure we can function as a family whilst im away on exercise and on deployments.
The baby has chosen the worst possible time to decide to arrive!

My current thoughts is that the TA is probably the best option for me over the next year and a bit, gets my military career started, lets me help out with the new one, should help boost my fitness (but will continue working towards the same marine standards regardless) and then reassess my position in a years time.

What do you guys think I should do?
Im threaders over here!

(apologies for the monster mail - got a lot floating around in my noodle just now!).

PS - posted this on PRMC forum too as desperate for as much input as possible.
Psycho Tests: PASSED 26.11.09 : Eyesight: PASSED 04.12.09
Medical: PASSED 12.01.10 : Interview: Soonish / PJFT - TBA
Push Ups- (05 upto) 27 : Sit Ups - (33) 78 : Pull Ups (0) 2 - 1.5 Return (14min) 10:02
Looking to be upto scratch by August 2010.
Difficult one matey,

Sounds like TA and then look towards the Mne's once life is a little more sorted, is the best of the options to me. The AFCO will understand and will see what you are doing as a positive, rather than just sitting on your arse doing nothing.

Best of luck




Lantern Swinger
Why don't you have a chat with your AFCO and see what the realistic dates would be for PRMC, and if you pass when would you actually join the Corps/start training?

From what has been said previously, Mil training is at max capacity so you may have to wait a wee while?


hi guys,
thanks for the advice, full time wise i would be looking at PRMC at around July with a 3 month lead off until RT (depending of course on passing the course well) so ties in exactly with the due date and the first few months of the kid being born (the hardest part - after 6 months they are generally in a pattern and its slightly easier from that point of view).

Cheers for the input. Very good advice with the sitting on arse side of things as thats how i feel despite training my ass off just now!
Would be good to get out in the field and see some sort of results.
I done a fake army 1.5miler and got 9.37 so should be upto TA standard - need to improve the press ups and upper body though but i train with a mate who is in the TA and he thinks I should get in with relative ease.

The most important thing for me is ensuring that im fine with MOD life (being away) and that the family cope in my absence and i feel the TA may be the perfect 'stepping stone' into MOD life?
If there was a Reserve intake in july time i would be confident of being upto spec for that but there is only one a year for the Marine reserves just now, weird as the TA have 2 per month in Scotland despite the apparant cutbacks being reported in the press.

I think im more concerned about doing TA then potentially jumping across to the NAVY as my heart is really with the marines being brought up in a marine town with marine friends and family (but I would give my all to whatever branch I serve regardless).

God lifes not easy!
Hi G,

As a RN/RM recruiter I can promise you that it's not a problem to be in the TA and then come back to the marines. As you said it will give you a chance to see if you are really happy being away from the family unit and how the missus will cope when you are away in training etc. The other option is to say sod it and wait for the RMR and see how things go with the reserves. You can always put in for a tour once qualifed for the "Green lid".

I was brought up in a RM town, but knew I wasn't up for their lifestyle, so went for the RN instead.

Hope this helps matey




Cheers Mario.
I went into the AFCO today and have let them know the full picture.

Advice was to stick in and go to RMR selection in October then do a PRMC if I decide to go regular and put down that I cant start Recruit Training until after February (giving me 6 months with the nipper).

In the meantime once i have done my RMR interview and PJFT then I can go upto the reserves once a month and maybe even go on weekends too (but I wont be paid and if i get injured then its on my own head - which i f im not to PRMC standard im assuming might be a high possibility by exerting myself and trying not to let anyone down when on a weekend).

Being away for the weekends in the next 2 months is a big part for me as I want to get me and my family into the stride of this before the wee one is born so my existing family are used to it.

I never wanted to join RMR for the money but a part of me knows that if I trained with the TA instead of waiting til October (for RMR) or Feb (for applying regulars) and kept training as I am now to marine PRMC standard in my spare time I could have a decent little bounty for the baby as every penny is a prisoner now.
Didnt say that to my AFCA though incase it gave the wrong impression and he thought i was a merc!

He was pretty clear that I should stick with my application and forget about the TA altogether.

I do see the benefits of holding on until October then transferring regular if all goes well with me being away - but theres a massive part of me knows the TA will pay me, get my family in the way of things and lead upto where the real hard work starts...

Im just so confused!

Thanks again for everyones kind words and advice.

Deleted 7

I personally understand that a baby is hard work but this is a career you could have for a very long time, which will support your family.

I would go with RMR, then once the family is settled and you have a feel for the RM's, then you can make a choice to go full time or stick to RMR.

Good luck with your choice x


Hi Jenny,
Thats smashing, thanks for the advice - that is EXACTLY what i have decided to do!

Cheers again for all the advice.
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