Advice please. Partner returning from overseas.

#1
Hi, I'll try keep it as short as possible.

I'm currently engaged to my partner who is in the military and will be returning home on ship next week in which I haven't saw him in over 4 months. We arranged for him to pick me up from mine on the way home after he left the ship and got his car etc. I never knew until last week that there would actually be a welcoming home service as such and all families and partners were welcome. I was actually invited down by another one of the ladies who's partner was on ship but I told her we had already made plans. Anyway I brought this up with my oh on the phone about coming to this parade and made out like I was going to surprise him (I had no intentions of even going down) because I genuinely thought it would actually be nice if he wasn't expecting me to be there and see me! Instantly after me saying this his mood changed, got angry, annoyed and said if I carried on talking about he would flip and put the phone down so I asked what was the big deal? He just kept on saying "we have a plan" etc but if I decided to do this I would of made my own way down there and it would be no disruption to our plans. I feel hurt and upset that he's maybe embarrassed. Also it is a mix of females and males on the ship, i don't think this has anything to do with it but I can't piece together in my own mind why he would be so annoyed about me trying to do something nice and with something I meant as a passing comment but it's really got to me. Please any advice will be highly appreciated.
 
#5
Sounds like he has something to hide...... Turn up anyway. You'll soon know by his reaction.
I've got work commitments so I couldn't even if I wanted to also I wouldn't want to piss him off further. He's already said if I was to turn up he would walk straight past me and ignore. This sounds so petty actually writing it out. I do trust him 100% I'm just completely miffed by his reaction... Thanks by the way
 
#8
You're innocence and naivety is charming.

Many female sailors find their partners onboard. And while they can't shag onboard, there is nothing prohibiting relationships per se. And what they do ashore somewhere is their own business.
 
#9
I know all about fraternisation etc I was previously in the military but I'm miffed as to why he would be so against me going? We are due to get married this year so I couldn't imagine why he would even bother trying? To be completely honest I don't think this is the case, I'm just genuinely shocked at his reaction to me suggesting if I was to go...
 
#11
I know all about fraternisation etc I was previously in the military but I'm miffed as to why he would be so against me going? We are due to get married this year so I couldn't imagine why he would even bother trying? To be completely honest I don't think this is the case, I'm just genuinely shocked at his reaction to me suggesting if I was to go...
It might be his guilty complex. On the other hand, it might just be that he's a miserable twat.
 
#12
It might be his guilty complex. On the other hand, it might just be that he's a miserable twat.
So you're implying that it can/does happen?

He can be miserable at times and to be honest I don't blame him with being on a tin prison for 3+ months but I've never known him to flip out due to a suggestion. Maybe I caught him on a bad day either way when he's home I'm sure it'll come to light if there's any major issues... Thank you
 
#13
Of course it happens and has ever since females went to sea. Amongst personnel of all ranks and rates from the skipper to the AB2. There are dozens of places it can happen discretely.
 
#15
Of course it happens and has ever since females went to sea. Amongst personnel of all ranks and rates from the skipper to the AB2. There are dozens of places it can happen discretely.
To be honest yes I admit thinking that it doesn't happen is completely naïve. Like I've said I don't think this is the case...
 
#16
He just might have a surprise for you and you changing those plans may negate the surprise. Fingers crossed. :cool:
The last thing I want to do is let him think I doubt him which I don't I'm just trying to think of a logical reason as to why he would not want me there especially when most of the other partners are going... In all honesty it could be me overthinking. As for planning a surprise I know that's not the case either as I'm working and his plan is to get me from work but I could of taken the day off to welcome him home but this won't be the case now...
 

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