Advice Needed

Hubby is in the real world now, no one repeat no one likes a gobby smart arse part three, and in my day they would not qualify, unless they learnt how to shut up. My gut reaction is that if your hubby wants to side with him then he will suffer the same fate, PC is great outside but in a boat you have to depend on every one, hubbies gobby mate does not in the first instance seem dependable


Lantern Swinger
I'd say your husband's PO feels threatened by your man's, (cant keep typing husband), experience. Despite however long work experience you have, you start in boats the same as everyone else.
Once your man's proved himself, his PO will lay off him. Confiding with an officer is tantamount to being a grass
geoff(ers) :nemo:


War Hero
The Official line:

The Royal Navy is committed to upholding the right of all personnel to work in an environment free from intimidation, humiliation, harassment or abuse.

Behaviour such as bullying or harassment is manifestly unfair, undermines confidence and reduces morale. There is zero tolerance to bullying and harassment in the Royal Navy.

Any allegation of discrimination, harassment, victimisation or bullying will be investigated and disciplinary or administrative action taken where there is sufficient and reliable evidence.

Advice and support is available at any stage to both victims and alleged perpetrators from many sources.

There include the person's Divisional Officer, a chaplain, the ship/establishment Equal Opportunities Adviser, legal advisers, the Naval Personal and Family Services organisation or the Confidential
Supportline which is displayed on all Establishment Noticeboards.

In short, if in doubt, tell him to call the Supportline & they will advise whether or not he has a valid case.

Confidential Supportline:
Military Personnel 0800 731 4880
9380 31 4480
++44 1980 630854
(Open 1030-2230, 7 days a week)
Civilian Personnel 020 7218 2666
9621 82666


War Hero
There's always two sides to any story.

If the guy is complaining, pass-on the supportline number, it will be sorted as necessary & all consciences are then clear.

It's his choice, not yours or your Man's, to determine whether he is being bullied or is simply learning the hard way.
ProudNavyWife(tooBe) said:
Maxi_77 said:
Hubby is in the real world now, no one repeat no one likes a gobby smart arse part three, and in my day they would not qualify, unless they learnt how to shut up. My gut reaction is that if your hubby wants to side with him then he will suffer the same fate, PC is great outside but in a boat you have to depend on every one, hubbies gobby mate does not in the first instance seem dependable
thats what I thought he doesnt want to side with him as he says but I know thats how it would be seen (he doesnt want to make things harder from himself as he has fit right in, but wants to do the right thing - I said yes thats all very well to do the right thing but not at the expense of screwing yourself over and making your life harder) , I think he should leave alone or at most tell the gobby lad to mybe think before he opens it as its pissing people off.

Just wondered what you guys thought - seems we think the same thing.
The best way he can help the guy is to pesuade him that being a gobby smart arse is not a good thing, then the cause for having a hard ttime will go and most submariners willacknowledge when some one has learnt their lesson. The reality is the gobby smart arse at the moment does not have the personal skills to be a good submariner and is very likely to fail his part 3 no matter how many signatures he gets in his part 3 book. He needs to understand that and do something about it. Thats what his PO is trying to get over to him perhaps not in the very best way, but perhaps he tried the easy way and found that brick walls were more fun


Lantern Swinger
Sorry I got the wrong dit. Age related you know. I'd therefore suggest your husband leaves well alone and the "system"will sort it eventually.
A question springs to mind: If you're a Navy Wife to be, what was you doing in bed with your HUSBAND?
Are you about to bin him and marry the chap on the submarine?
Anyway, Merry Xmas when it comes :rendeer:
geoff(ers) :nemo:


War Hero
Book Reviewer
You 'hubby' has duty (iaw NDA s.45) to report any alleged offences - if he is aware of an alleged offence then he shoud notify the appropriate authorities. In his case, the Coxswain or the local Provost Unit (do not engage in any official conversation with the aforementioned PO!).

Sometimes it is not popular to be proactive, but it is necessary; if he was the victim of bullying then I am sure he would hope that his colleagues would stick up for him, so in this case he should do the same. If your 'hubby' is as liberal as you claim, then he should do what he knows is 'right' then he should follow his heart.

Better safe than sorry - hindsight is a wonderful thing, when the alleged "bullyee" has taken some drastic action to bring to light his predicament. A lot of questions get asked when someone has self-harmed (or worse), especially amongst his/her 'former' friends and colleagues...

8O :oops:
Simply, the Royal Navy will not tolerate bullying of any form. The Submarine Service is no different from any other Arm of the Service. If the lad concerned or even your husband considers that he is being bullied he should without doubt bring it to the attention of the Chain of Command at the earliest opportunity. I guarantee that it will be investigated immediately. Go to the Coxswain and not the Provost Head Quarters. We do not like to initially air our dirty washing in public. If there is a case to answer there is a possibility that this will then be passed to the RN Police. There have been far too many occassions when events of bullying have come back to bite peoples arses many years later. The RN will take appropriate swift action against any perpetrator.

Maybe the lad is a gobshite and needs put in his place however we all know the rules. There is more than one way to skin a cat!



War Hero
Book Reviewer
IDID: My God!! We agree on something... :lol: :wink:

The days of "sorting things out" in the Messdeck are long gone - rightly or wrongly - but the law will protect all; we just need people to operate within it!



Lantern Swinger
I have to hold my hands up, I was a gobby part three all those years ago, and I was taken into the fore ends once by a rather large killick of the mess where I was shown the error of my ways, and no I don't mean I was thumped but I was told straight that if I wanted to progress in boats that I should shut up, listen ask questions about my part three and generally tone it down.
It took the wind out of my sails but I respected the fact some one took the time and the trouble to see I was really hiding my fears of failure etc..
If your hubby is looking out for his oppo then maybe he should have a word or mention it to someone who is respected through out the boat to speak to him after that it is down to the gobby part three,

All The Best

SPB, I agree there is no place for bullying, but having re-read the initial post this does not sound like bullying, in his present way of behaving the lad is a waste of space, and needs to learn he is at present at the bottom of the food chain rather than the world revolving round him. He doesn't make friends, not because the PO picks on him but, because he is a gobby little waste of space, he needs to shape up or ship out. If I was his DO I would be taking him into the fore ends and explaining to him in words of one sylable what the service expected of him, how the service expected him to be have and what the consequences of him not taking note of this would be.

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