Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Adultery yes please.

Rumrat

War Hero
Adultery in the navy is a very common thing,
Shaggin an oppos missus saves your oppos ring,
Cus if you got frustrated and was well topped up with gunk,
You might be very tempted to visit your oppos bunk.

Or worse than that a junior, a poor little bit of skin,
Could well be grabbed by the hips one night and a lump pushed into him.
It isn't very nice you see when you've just thought your life was sound,
To be grabbed by hips by a big OD and have your young ring ground.

And how can we have such things as these happen in our fleet,
Tales of sodomy and debauchery, the press would have a treat.
How would it look on news at ten, when the bells on Big Ben sound,
To have a skin young junior scream!!...... their trying to poke me a pound.

So adultery is approved all round its a part of naval life,
If you oppo goes to sea you nip round and bone his wife,
It doesn't matter what the civvies think or even what they say,
You do it as part of your duty, they can even dock your pay.

Trust me I'm a sailor we would never lie
its against our code of ethics,as true as "pigs can fly"
So if you read of jack shaggin his mates wife, whilst he's out at sea,
You know he's only doing his duty, no matter how unpleasant it might be.
 
Bravo, bravo...my nomination for the next Poet laureate....Your majesty, please take note...if your not up for it, give 'Phil the Greek' a nudge, he knows where his duty lies....:la:
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Poor poor Wreckler

Fuckin hell said Wrecker pointing in the air,
his idea being distraction so he could nick his families fayre
He stole his poor sprogs cheesy hammy egg of the plate,
by the time his poor kids eyes dropped,.. alas it was too late,
The greedy twat had swallowed it almost took it whole,
no other cunt on any boat could get more in their hole.

Fuckin gulp he swallowed hard the food slid down with ease,
I wouldn't mind some nice fresh bread and maybe froggy cheese,
In fact I could eat anything I'm starving and depressed,
There's mornings I get up like this.. I can't bother getting dressed.
I'm always bastard fed up depressed and feeling low,
I've got to get a fuckin plan, that Rumrat has to go.

I know he thought I've got it now a rather cunning plan,
I'll offer him my backyard lawn to park his caravan,
And when he's snuggled down at night a cylinder I'll hire,
Fuckin propane stacks of it I'll start a fuckin fire,
So quick as a flash he sent a message full of slimy praise,
It said I think I know you mate,. come down for a few days.

Suspicion grew immediately Rumrats brain was fit to burst,
He knew that bastard wrecker lied, if not this was a first,
Why is wrecker being nice he's trying to be quite slick,
Asking to "hook up again" the two faced lying prick,
Wrecker said he knows me,. come down he wrote quite plain,
Cus if the bastard knows me, why would he want me there again?

Was it him who lent me trousers and I filled them full of shit,
The night I got arrested, and had a DQ's pit,
Or did I see his tot off when he said but have a wet,
If its that what he wants revenge for he must be a precious get,
I know.. I shagged his sister,.. no that cannot be the case,
Or else his brother,..maybe both, when I was off my face.

Its really cus he loves me but he wont say this in thread,
And if the twat denies it, whys he want to give me head,
Its not that I am vain you know or think that I'm a diver, (shut the fuck up Frogman I said DIVER)
Or think I am a bit of skin just like a high school leaver,
No I took a course quite recently that's made me effervescent, (bubbly for the benefit of bent tube peepers)
Called "Big it up in five days", run by some twat who's called essence.

I wrote and told old wrecker this, he said it didn't matter,
He said that he still wanted me even though I'm on the batter,
Who the fuck has told you that I had to ask quite quickly,
The very thought of being shagged had made my skin all prickly,
I was told you'd done a course on how to pull and act real slick,
Mind you the twat that told me well he looked a real prick.

A prick says I to wreckler, what gave you that idea,
Says wrecks when first I saw him I and he started drawing near,
I couldn't believe my fuckin eyes he was dressed in a dry suit,
There was bats a hanging from his arms te type that munch on fruit,
I said where the fuck have you been, its a little cold for swimmin,
I ain't been in the pool says he I've just been with these women,

So Wrecker wrote and told me not to bother coming down,
And being generous to me he sent me half a crown,
Twelve and a half pence?....... thanks said I( though I thought it very strange)
"Have a couple of wets" says wreckes and then said "Keep the change"
Have you been ashore quite recent wrecks I said,..... he turned to me,
Oh yes I do it often ........I was there in 93.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Bumped until wreckler explodes

Exploding with laughter, if you've shagged my sister then I didn't realise you were visually impaired. Ain't being blick enough for you? or do just have a strange attraction for Labradors fitted with hi-viz jackets and carry handles ^~
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Exploding with laughter, if you've shagged my sister then I didn't realise you were visually impaired. Ain't being blick enough for you? or do just have a strange attraction for Labradors fitted with hi-viz jackets and carry handles ^~

All of above.
Probably.
:toothy10:
 

Rumrat

War Hero
As a diver I'm used to it to be honest.

Don't feel bad about it your life could have been worse and you could have ended up right at the bottom of the food chain the other side of the missing link.
Yes that's right a slugemarine driver
 

frogman007

War Hero
Don't feel bad about it your life could have been worse and you could have ended up right at the bottom of the food chain the other side of the missing link.
Yes that's right a slugemarine driver


Rhink SB and Wrecks might be along soon.......
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
A Committing adultery in the Navy Nearest & Dearest 126
MoD_RSS Swedish community votes ‘yes’ for a Geological Disposal Facility MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Civil/crime news: launch of ‘help us say yes’ online training MoD News 0
vauxhall Yes, Minister Finance & Pensions 3
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp Earned Your Dolphins? If "Yes" then Read On. Submariners 8
BoatyMcBoatFace ET-(WE) (Yes, another question I the Joining the Royal Navy 2
SONAR-BENDER Hercules (yes HERCULES!) landing on carrier The Fleet 22
J Yes I know its only November but Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 5
NZ_Bootneck Does my bum look big in this? YES!(NSFW) Diamond Lil's 2
2_deck_dash US Booty asks fit famous bird on date and she says yes. Diamond Lil's 23
Rumrat Yes, I Lied, He may have, have you ever? Diamond Lil's 13
U !Asthma! Yes, I know...You've seen this 100 times before. Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 2
smudge3311 re joining.........yes really!! The Fleet 5
A Yes I'm a **** Diamond Lil's 22
Z I was thinkging (Yes, it hurt) earlier and... Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 21
Bergen Yes! Five Life Sentences. Current Affairs 15
L Oh yes, caught me out good and proper Diamond Lil's 16
brazenhussy yes u were right!!!!!! Diamond Lil's 43
A ME yes me ! Blogs 13
B Yes, or no from the board. The Fleet Air Arm 5
slim Seperate Forum for Gays yes or no Diamond Lil's 149
creddly YES!!! Got My Application - Finally!!! Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 51
D Decommissioning of the FA2: Justified yes or no? Discuss. The Fleet Air Arm 39
andym Poll:Yes or NO? Diamond Lil's 49
golden_rivet OH YES! OH YES! OH YES! ... Diamond Lil's 15
M Can you please Help reading naval record please Miscellaneous 9
M Help reading naval record please Miscellaneous 18
K Please help with Interview and Training information Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 6
D Help - Uniform ID Please History 17
B How soon will the commonwealth hold be taken off please? Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 4
D Am I banned from joining the Navy forever? Please help me :) Joining the Royal Navy 18
T Advice on officer or rating please Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 15
Oldest_Nozzer Re-Joining the RN - Some Advice Please.. Joining the Royal Navy 4
B Some general advice please Finance & Pensions 4
C If possible, I would like to get in touch with anyone who served as a Royal Navy Officer prior to 1993 please. The Quarterdeck 27
R Joining questions please RFA 11
H please delete Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Please don’t waste this moment MoD News 0
A Advice please Joining the Royal Navy 2
slim Brexit re article 50 it must not be suspended/stopped under any circumstances Please sign the petition Current Affairs 486
bizkit81 Please some advice to help me decide what to do next RFA 3
S Help please. Changing role before interview Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 9
D Please delete answer found The Quarterdeck 6
A Advice please; Finance & Pensions 3
C Please help. New recruit advice desperate parent! Nearest & Dearest 2
L re-joining help please Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 5
H Temporarily Medically Unfit - Advice Please! Joining the Royal Navy 8
A Some Advice Please Joining the Royal Navy 2
N GIP inflation help please. Finance & Pensions 2
Repulse Ship ID, please... 1908 History 14
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

New Posts

Top