Accidents with bodily fluids

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by RonJeremy, Aug 4, 2009.

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  1. I've just mucked on the carpet by mistake......
  2. Ive pissed and shit myself a few times (sad)
  3. Same. Hey-ho, these things happen. I have also spnuked in my own eye before, that stung a touch.
  4. Done that as well all over my hair in ears nose eyes stinks and smells
  5. Ever done a mahoosive sneeze and shat neither have I :oops:
  6. Swine Flu, Equatorial Heat, One Sneeze followed by a coughing fit=New Pair of Knicks
  7. [​IMG]

    was out on my bike one day with my mates been jumping and racing all day, i decided to hit this 33ft gap but nose dived it hit the ground head first then skided to a halt on my back completly winded. anyone for a couple a nights the fluid from the grazes stuck to my bed sheets and t-shirts leaving huge stains- was well embarasing.

    *edit. if you cant see the picture
  8. I went for a piss yesterday and noticed some spunk dangling from my cock. It had been nearly 24 hours since my last wank and I'd cleaned up well.

  9. Mmm! Are you sure it was semen? It could be the discharge from gonorrhoea! :D

    Also, diarrhoea is a cure for coughs and sneezes; one daren't for fear of the underpant consequences. :oops:
  10. Pissed, dropped my strides and squatted for a shit, passed a "doble" then fell back in it. 8O 8O 8O 8O :? :? :? :?
  11. Christ every time I get really smashed i always swamp the bed - missus is getting a little pissed off to say the least :p What does she expect me to do?? give up booze????
  12. Go to the bog?
  13. Just had another accident......I chubbed off a couple of hours ago and I've just been for a piss. However, 'cos I ripped the fukking head off it earlier, my foreskin wasn't in the normal sea going line up and when I started swamping in the pan it was like a sprinkler hosepipe effect and I ended up boundary cooling my knee. Has this happened to anyone else or should I seek medical attention?
  14. Don'tbe such a fcking poof get a local mong to suck on it all the extra drool willhave a healing affect.
  15. Aye fair one! I knew I was doing something wrong!! But seriously I never even wake up :x
  16. ive pissed the bed a few times when drunk. dont think ive shit myself ina long while though ....phew 8)
  17. A mate of mine (honest) had a real problem. He would go to bed harry crappers and then need a p1ss in the middle of the night. His brain managed to get his body out of bed and to open a door and then he would empty his bladder. Unfortunately, the door that he opened was always the wardrobe door and he p1ssed all over his missus' shoes.
  18. You have a carpet?

    Im impressed :lol:
  19. Once, just once mark you, I got the re-plen hose connected just minutes before she hoisted the red flag, Did I panic?, not a whit just carried on until she was bunkered. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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