A Submariners' Song

Discussion in 'Submariners' started by Always_a_Civvy, Mar 9, 2007.

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  1. [To be sung to the tune of 'For those in Peril on the Sea'].

    I thought it might be fun for us to write a humourous submariners' song with different Rum Rationers contributing... though we are obviously no match for our resident Pam Ayres (Uncle Albert)! :smile:

    So here goes.....

    FOR those who sail in Submarines
    In wooley jumpers, white and fluffy
    Beneath the waves they hunt for seals
    And Skimmers lost or just confused.

    For those who live beneath the oggin
    The pay the better, the sex is wetter!

  2. I think Cyril Tawney made a better job with Diesel and Shale, but in todays nuclear navy perhaps a more updated version is needed.

  3. During my time in boats (1965-1974) my trusty guitar and I used to perform at impromptu sods operas whilst ashore. I wrote many songs during that time, which were included in "Stickys Songbook", a noble publication (courtesy of the Dolphin Gestetner machine!), which was handed out to the lads. Among the songs I wrote were "Golden Dolphins" and "The Tot Song". Should there be sufficient interest, I will gladly reproduce them on this site.
    ps : If anyone has a copy of Stickys Songbook, I would love to hear from you! I know Slinger Woods has one, but sadly we've lost contact.
    pps : Having to use "Skyvet" as my nickname, as "Sticky" is already taken, but for anyone that remembers me, I am Paul "Sticky" Hartley.
  4. The Haslar dit below was written many moons ago by an old oppo of mine, Mick Jones, from the Merseyside Submarine Association. Ironic that today Mick is himself in dry dock in Fazarkerly Hospital in Liverpool with a life threatening illness. But no matter what, you still cannot keep this old Irish matelots sense of humour down, as is well illustrated in the following dit:


    It was Christmas Day in Haslar, the whitewashed halls were hung
    with merry festive greetings, all the carols had been sung.

    When Matron came to the Men's Ward door, and in a voice so clear
    she announced a Royal visitor to bring them Christmas cheer.

    Princess Margaret stepped into the room, her tiara on her head
    dispensing royal goodwill, as she moved from bed to bed.

    She asked each man his trouble, as she moved on through the halls
    till she came to the bed of the man who said, he had boils upon his balls.

    The Sick Bay Tiffies giggled, and the Matron's face went scarlet red
    as she pulled Her Royal Highness away from that patients bed.

    "Who gave him sherry trifle, and started off his frolics?
    when I get back I'll give him worse than boil's upon his bollocks."

    It was Christmas night in the wee small hours, and not a patient stirred
    when Matron came to the bed of the man, who had said that awful word.

    She pulled the blankets off him, and then upon him she started
    "How dare you tell a Royal Princess about your boily parts?"

    "If ever again in future we're visited by one of our Royal select
    and they ask you what your problem is, please show them some respect.

    Think about our reputation, and don't make of us a spectacle
    just say they're on your hands or knees, but never on your testicles."

    It was Christmas Day in the ward once more, and joy was in the air
    once more a Royal visitor, the Queen, herself was there.

    Her Majesty walked down the ward, amidst the snap of Xmas cracker's
    till she came to the bed of the man who said, he had boils upon his knackers.

    When she asked him what his trouble was, his face was full of woe
    then inspiration struck him, and he said "Boils upon my toe's".

    "How very sad" the Queen replied, "How very sad Oh! dear"
    "they must have spread down from your balls, since our Maggie came last year."

    by Jones 'O' Unbroken

    from Musings of a Merry Matelot
  5. Sticky,

    I myself once wrote and recorded a song for the Merseyside Submarine Associations Ballet de Scouse Sod's Opera (then called the Old Comrades).
    It was called 'The Ballad of the Golden Dolphins' and has been done at Dolphin, Faslane, and the Royal Philharmonic shows over the years. You show me your dit, and I'll show you mine and we can exchange notes okay?

    Bottom Gun......

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