A small joke...

#1
As the sun rose over Parris Island, the senior drill instructor realized that one of his recruits had gone AWOL. A search party was dispatched immediately. After a few hours the recruit was discovered hiding in some bushes. He was sent back to the base and promptly escorted to the drill instructor's office. The instructor asked the young recruit, "Why did you go AWOL?"

The recruit replied, "My first day here you issued me a comb, and then proceeded to cut my hair off. The second day you issued me a toothbrush, and sent me to the dentist, who proceeded to pull all my teeth. The third day you issued me a jock strap, and I wasn't about to stick around and find out what would follow that SIR."
 

Greendeath

Lantern Swinger
#10
Another small joke...

An oppo of mine got fixed up with some gronk. He was shiters and went back to her place to nob her.

After he'd done the biz she asked him to crap on her breasts.

He was a little surprised at this request but obliged anway.

It went on for weeks, shagging, crapping, shagging, crapping.

Eventually things started to get serious and they got engaged.

My oppo asked me what I thought about this filthy habit, so I told him to keep up the good work if it keeps her happy.

He did, but he started to think it was disgusting.

Anyway: One night he went back to her place and nobbed her.

"Please crap on my breasts she asked him."

"No this is disgusting, we must stop this." He insisted.

" Come on, DO IT." She demanded.

"I don't want to." He said.

"I said come on." She hollowed.

He wanted to keep her happy so he dropped his trousers and squatted over her. He strained hard, but nothing came out.

"Come on, Come on." She demanded. "Lets have it."

"I Can't it won't come out." He told her."

She sighed and then said: "You bastard, you've been with somebody else haven't you!!!!"



Cheers

Green Death
 
#13
Let me give it a try......

Posted this one before but can't find it to link you...

Lion tamer comes to town and sets up shop. In the Big Top with lion sat on the stool and the audience wondering what he's going to do. Cracks his whip and the lion opens it's mouth. They all think that he's going to put his head in the lion's mouth but he gets his dick out and places it in the lions mouth and then cracks his whip again. Lion closes it's mouth stopping barely a fraction off the lion tamers bell end!! The crowd go wild!! Lion tamer then cracks his whip and the lion opens its mouth and the tamer puts his dick away.
"I'll give £1000 to anyone who can do that" says the lion tamer.

A queer in the audience stands up and says, "I'll give it a go, but I don't think I can open my mouth as wide as that fcuking lion!"........ :wink:
 

Greendeath

Lantern Swinger
#15
The Hunch Back of Notre Dams mum buys him a wok for Christmas.

He's overjoyed and asks her:

"Is it to cook me some chinese food mum?"

"No." She answers. "Its to iron your shirts, you humpty back bastard!"


Cheers


GD
 

polariod

Lantern Swinger
#16
Quasimodo is lying on his back outside Notre Dame after dropping from the bell tower.

He looks up and shouts; ETHMERELDA THATH NOT WHAT I MEANT BY TOTH ME OFF!!!

Pol
 
#17
polariod said:
Quasimodo is lying on his back outside Notre Dame after dropping from the bell tower.

He looks up and shouts; ETHMERELDA THATH NOT WHAT I MEANT BY TOTH ME OFF!!!

Pol
Thanks Pol, fortunately I was not drinking coffee whilst reading
 

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