A powemmm for ower soljerzzz...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Montigny-La-Palisse, Nov 8, 2011.

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  1. I saw a boy marching, with medals on his chest,
    He marched alongside Soldiers, marching six abreast,
    He knew it was Remembrance Day, he walked along with pride,
    And did his best to keep in step with the soldiers by his side.

    A man in the crowd waved, tears down his face,
    The little boy he stopped, and shoulders he did brace,
    "Look you fucking soft cunt, I hate to be abrupt,
    but your massive gayness offends me, why don't you just man up?"

    The man he looked despondent and suddenly deprived,
    "Please don't take away my grief whoredom, it makes me feel alive!"
    The little boy he shook his head and went to walk away,
    But the old man was yet to finish with his dripping quim display,

    "I cry because of the poems and the programmes on TV,
    It's good to show emotion, wouldn't you agree?"
    I plaster them on facebook, Rumration and twitter,
    But the boy said "I have to stop you there you massive crying shitter"

    "There is no fucking Johnny, nor applauding aircraft lobby,
    Dad's not on the end of a walky talky you dirty slavering jobby,
    I bet you watch the millies and sit there weeping like a girl,
    crying into your Daily mail, you make me fucking hurl,"

    The man then nodded sagely, the boy he was correct,
    he realised it was about time he regained some self respect,
    "Thankyou little feller, you're right I was being gay,
    I'll try some quiet dignity for this remembrance day."

    By MLP aged 6 1/2.
     
    • Like Like x 9
  2. Fucking good effort - have you ever considered volunteering for "Poet Laureate"?
     
  3. Homo......
     
  4. Fucking quality!
     
  5. Fcuking genius!! Might do you all a favour and post more often after reading this display of greatness!!! ;-)
     
  6. Put it on ARRSE
     
  7. That is fucking outstanding!
     
  8. Welcome back mate, I've missed you.

    And I'm not going to lie, it got quite dusty in here when I wrote that poem.
     
  9. Did you write it whilst disturbing the accumulated festering cobwebs, ming and stale minge juice in your grot when you wrote it then?? ;-)
     
  10. Worse, my wallet!
     
  11. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    It's not often I feel compelled to post after one of MLP's swearathons, but this is excellent!

    Cannot stand the Weep and Wail Brigade. Those who complain about the "youf" of today and their ignorance of The Great War would better spend their time organising for trips for said "youf" to the Belgian and French battlefields and memorials. I went at 13 and it had a profound effect on me.
     
  12. Did one of the Veterans fiddle with you??? ;-)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Yep. That'll do. Fancy a bum?
     
  14. Not just now sweetheart i'm just giving my ricker a pull through with some flanelette!!! :)
     
  15. XRD been worried about you; now I am not...

    MLP, you protesteth too much - I suspect that you are a closet grief whore who, on a Saturday afternoon, behind drawn curtains, slaps on a classic bit of US National Guard, IRAQ lament whilst self asphyxiating to force the tears out.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    My dear man, if you want to know if I like the "older man", just ask. However, whilst I'm sure it would please you to know that I like the attentions of older men, I have standards.

    Which you do not meet, I am afraid. I draw the line at geriatrics. It's a little too close to necrophilia.

    Sorry and all that. ;-)
     
  17. Your loss - he's awesome.
     
  18. Dont apologise luv. I know you like the older man although it seems that they usually appear to be carrying a white stick and own a labrador for some reason.

    cant think why!!

    Sorry and all that!!! ;-)
     
  19. So are you. Especially that talibanesque Beard of yours Royal!!
     
  20. Magda

    Magda War Hero Book Reviewer

    God, I just felt the testosterone levels jump a few notches in here. It's quite sweet really. Aw.

    Ok, so I might have a face like an unfortunate love child of Ann Widdecombe and Desert Orchid, but that doesn't mean I have to go without.

    Just because they lack sight doesn't mean they're deficient in other areas, you know. Don't be so blinkered.
     

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