A matter of perspective

Dredd

War Hero
Super Moderator
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."

The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be very disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're having granite worktops"
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS Prime Minister message on Black Lives Matter MoD News 1
MoD_RSS Government targets particulate matter and microplastic pollution from cars MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Modular versus linear GCSEs: does the structure of exams matter? MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Civil news: new matter start increases and quality requirements MoD News 0
soleil BBC: "Why The RAF's New F-35 Jets Matter" The Fleet Air Arm 0
R Does progress on the candidate portal matter to your application? Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 1
dapperdunn Faecal matter in ice. Health & Fitness 16
Rumrat What is the matter with you all? The Quarterdeck 12
joe_145 Does size matter??? The Gash Barge 9
superpom Veteran Sailor, Soldier Airman...does it really matter? Current Affairs 0
seenoffteefcuk IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME Current Affairs 24
scouse More 4 A Matter of life or Death Now Showing Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 0
S Do names matter ?? Current Affairs 2
H A matter of life and death, remarkable The Quarterdeck 3
Stripey_G Does penis size really matter? Diamond Lil's 113
brazenhussy It was only a matter of time.. Current Affairs 10
andym size DOES matter! Diamond Lil's 5
OSLO Question for 1SL (and CDS, CGS, CAS, for that matter) Current Affairs 2
MoD_RSS Cybersecurity in aviation: a regulator's perspective MoD News 0
MoD_RSS UN Human Rights Council 42: Annual Discussion on the integration of a Gender perspective MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Academy Bristol seminar: The road to rehabilitation from an ex-offender's perspective MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Academy Leeds seminar: The road to rehabilitation from an ex-offender’s perspective MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: UK perspective on evidence based policy planning MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Securing operational superiority through defence innovation: a UK perspective MoD News 0
Nails Shooting games from the OTHER perspective Gaming 12
N In perspective - Red Alert Diamond Lil's 3
H A new perspective of punishment Diamond Lil's 30
G Some advice from RM perspective The Corps 9
Similar threads




























Latest Threads

New Posts

Top