A man, an ostrich, and a cat

The_Black_Pig

Midshipman
A man, an ostrich, and a cat

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?" The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says, "OK, that will be $3.87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, "What'll you guys have?" The man says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be $3.87." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?" The man says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be $7.53." The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. The bartender's curiosity got the best of him and he asks, "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?" The man said, "I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy." The bartender says, "That's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?" The man says, "That's where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for Walsall man who imported illegal firearms MoD News 0
soleil Guardian: "Man Accidentally Ejects Himself From Fighter Jet During Surprise Flight" The Fleet Air Arm 4
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for London man who kidnapped and sexually abused eight-year-old boy MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Guildford man has manslaughter sentence increased MoD News 0
D The Hazards to Man of Nuclear and Allied Radiations" The Quarterdeck 1
MoD_RSS Hull man fined for illegal transport of waste MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Lewes couple who befriended and robbed disabled man in his own home jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Chickens and man flu top tax evaders’ excuses MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Extensive search after report of man overboard MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Rotherham man who stabbed mother in front of young son jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Man who sexually assaulted 5 year old jailed for longer MoD News 0
MoD_RSS HM Coastguard volunteer saves man who was choking in Paris restaurant MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fishing vessel sinks off Isle of Man MoD News 0
soleil Mail: "Real-Life 'Rocket Man' Wearing A Jet Pack Launches From ... HMS Queen Elizabeth" The Fleet 8
Stirlin Rod Stewart.......model man. Hobbies & The Great Indoors 2
MoD_RSS Sunderland man charged over £12,000 for running illegal waste operation MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Treasury publishes Isle of Man VAT review MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Man overboard rescued off Dover 'was wearing lifejacket with good strobe light' MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Waste crime: Bucks man 'after quick buck' fined MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Chesterfield man nets £431 penalty for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fishing without a licence costs Retford man over £600 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Sentence increased for man convicted of sexual assault on woman MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: £600 penalty for man fishing without licence and removing fish MoD News 0
taffscrivs Isle of Man TT 2019 Sports and Adventure Training 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who blackmailed teenager into sex acts has sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man has prison time increased after drunken assault MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Illegal waste operation leads to prison term for man and £314,000 compensation for victim MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: North Tyneside man fined for illegal fishing MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Corby man gets a suspended sentence for illegal waste operations MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man found with Class A drugs in ear has sentence increased MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man found fishing without a licence in Newark nets £600 penalty MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who stabbed acquaintance to death has sentence reviewed MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Nottinghamshire man billed £500 for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Fishing without a licence costs Leicestershire man over £560 more than cost of licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Leicestershire man nets £600 fine for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Ilkeston man fined over £600 for fishing without a licence MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Mailing Medicine Man sentenced for illicit supply MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: North East man fined for permit breach MoD News 0
themuddyduck What do you think? - ANT MIDDLETONS "FIRST MAN IN" The Book Club 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Sentence increased for man who violently attacked and threatened to kill his ex-girlfriend MoD News 0
Sumo Last man standing Current Affairs 0
MoD_RSS Press release: 12 month prison sentence for man who tipped 100 tonnes of waste at school MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man sentenced for North East fish kill incident MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: North East man fined for waste offences MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Fishing trip cost Leicester man over £1,400 – a licence costs £30 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Fishing trip nets Gloucester man with over £800 fines and costs MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: £950 fine for Leicester man fishing with unlicensed rod and line MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: £950 fine for Leicester man fishing with unlicensed rod and line MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Man who sexually assaulted a young girl has sentence increased MoD News 0
2_deck_dash Sad news. Stan the Man has crossed the bar. Diamond Lil's 43
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top