A DO of Distinction.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, May 17, 2011.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Once upon a time in a Navy far far away from this moment in time was a very puzzling Divisional Officer.
    Now he was puzzling as he was as ineffectual as water is for starting fires.
    His division neither loved him or hated him, it was more a case of they well...studied him to see what he might do/say/think next.
    An example of his wayward logic is given in this example of his ineffectually.

    We were in transit to South Africa, where we had been informed, was a rear Admiral, who would come aboard as soon as we entered harbor. All hands were turned to, painting their own parts of ship to tidly all up for his visit. We were under way at a great rate of knots and there was quite a wind across the focsul. Now being sailors we could light a fag in the middle of a hurricane, but we had no lighter amongst us. As we had been told we could not leave the cable deck until all was done, I was detailed to go down to the Gun bay flat and beg a light. This I did, and as I ascended the ladder to return to the upper scupper, I meet my DO. He was I should tell at that time the most senior Sub Lt in the Navy having been passed over more than once. Anyway he troops me for absent from place of work, and I get Jimmies table. So I elect for him to defend me thinking it might be interesting. It was. After the charge had been read out, "sculling from Place of work", the jimmy asks,"have you anything to say"?
    "My DO is speaking on my behalf ", I reply.
    "Able Seaman Rumrat is one of the best and most reliable hands in the division" he states. The jimmy looks at him as if he just spoke in Chinese and asks "why is he in front of me then"?
    "Because he is idle" says my DO.
    "Well in that case" says No 1 "troop all of them, and you can keep all the first every night at sea for the next three months taking instruction from the Nav O in how to run a division. Case dismiss rum rat, and see that your DO gets home safely", and muttered loud enough for all to hear, "Idiot".
    Whenever I see a take off of the typical upperclass twit, he springs to mind as he personifies the role. I did like you though S/Lt Dun... you made life interesting.
  2. :-D:-D Rummers, wasn't he the "Best man" at your wedding?
  3. Cherry "B"?
  4. I'm afraid mate he wouldn't be "best man" at any buggers wedding, even his own.

    Not Cherry B I'm afraid, he was my DO when I served in Aurora, so same class at least.

    He found us once in an area of Bahrain we had been told was off limits as the diplomats all lived there.
    There was 6 of us in the ships "moke" and he looked at us and said......"You have three minutes to get out of town"

    A certain able seaman MacGrory who thought he was the Ysabel kid, or Dusty Fog replied..."Go for you gun".
    We all fell about laughing and he ran....yes ran away.
  5. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    Why do I feel a vague sensation of relief that I was never RR's DO?
    • Like Like x 1
  6. You would have loved me Seaweed,.....eventually.
    I once had an absolute top notch professional assessment, whilst on second class for conduct. But I was upset, its unsettling when people around you are dying.
    My DO committed suicide, I think he had family problems.:toothy3:
  7. I had a DO of a similiar ilk. He happened to be OOW as me and my oppo L*s (name changed to protect the guilty) staggered up the gangway in the early hours."My office 0700" says he.We report next morn looking slightly the worse for wear.
    "TC" he says."How much did you have to drink last night" "4 pints and a whisky" says I (underestimating by about 400%)
    "My God" says he, referring to his ocifers handbook "You have a drink problem". "Not me Sir I was just celebrating the birth of my first nephew, I never normally drink that much"
    "MEM L****e I think you must have a drink problem"
    " Yes Sir" "AHA you agree" " Yes sir I can't keep up with TC" DO turns purple and dismisses us both falling down the mess pissing ourselves laughing.
  8. Coming aboard one time in Thailand with what the thais pass off as steak pie and chips. (yes I do like to be adventurouse when abroad).
    Anyway I decide at the brow I don't like the pie so I slung it, and it just happened to hit the ships side. The gravy ran well.
    My DO was at the top of the brow and clocks me. When I get inboard he says " What do you think that looks like."
    " Not much like steak" I reply and carry on past.
    The QM told me he washed it off himself, he did not know about duty hands.
    Yes I did love that man as a DO, life was "different".
  9. When he left and we had a real DO my life became hell.
  10. Our tas do was a sd lt. One evening as officer of the day, he must have been on the lash
    cause about 21.00hs he came down our mess and guzzled about 8 cans. The nasty cooks
    set a trap and filled a wine bottle full of vineagar,so said lt came along and wolfed the full bottle down.
    Well he went doolali ranting and raving. Next thing I saw was him being hauled away by the crushers.
    Never saw or heard of him again, Rumour was he ended up at Netley syco hospital.
    Trouble was he was a good Do. The next one was a real grunter.
    Last edited: May 18, 2011
  11. One DO I had was "strange" to say the least. He decided to hold a div meeting at sea so had all the back aftie JR's off watch given a shake and told to lay aft and muster in the tech office (those S boat ratings will know how big that is) which is right at the after dome.
    After rabbiting on about fuck all for ages he finished with "Is there anything you want to throw at me" followed by a Training Aid Book flying over the assembled heads and bouncing off his swad.

    Cue fits of laughter and a red faced Lt scurrying out of the office never to a hold a div meeting again.

    He once came on watch in Manouvering and told everyone that he felt like getting naked on Dartmoor and smoking some good grass. The Chief tiff pointed out to him that those views wouldn't go down well in higher circles and to stow his tits.

    I last saw him years later at Glasgow Airport when he was a Commander. He had a large cowboy style waxed hat on, a mahoosive set and a neck to ankle wax jacket on and large cowboy boots. It was a rare Glasgow summer and everyone else was in shorts and T shirts.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Yes but as a submariner wasn't his dress ok, we always thought of you lot as a "cowboy" outfit.:laughing7:
  13. Steaming up past Madagascar at 20 knots we were deluged by millions of black evil looking flies but much bigger.
    The Quarterdeck was just about out of bounds.
    The DO said to me go and get some fly spray! I looked and said "We are doing 20 knots" he told me to get going.
    Orf I trotted but the buffer didn't believe me,well who would? he came down with a couple of cans watched as I sprayed and it disappeared over the stern.
    Off went the buffer and came back with the Jimmy,I heard him say to the buffer,"The DO is a Harrow man[he was a Terry Thomas type] blessed with fine brains but no common sense not like us old Eton boys"
    If it wasn't done in earnest I'd have thought the DO was joking but consequently I prayed we never found any action anywhere led by this DO,he was Gunnery Officer
  14. My DO at whale Island took some beating,I was in Queen Charlotte 2 division, ships company.
    He asked me why I looked tired the one day and I said jokingly that it was his fault as he worked me too hard. He then asked me to go to the NAAFI for him and get some smokes, it was about ten in the morning. When I got back he gave me a make and mend, and a leave pass for weekend from 8 in the morning the next day.
    The following tuesday he sent for me and two other lads and asked us if we liked earning money. He gave us an extended long weekend the following thursday to tue morning on the provision we worked at his daughters wedding as car parkers and general flunkies in a blue suit. So 10am saturday until about 11 or 12 on the night and a bed to sleep in until we had a paid taxi home sunday morning. He lived on Cannock chase in a dirty great drum, we all lived within the vicinity. He paid us all £20 for the day (a fortune in 1970) and lashed us up to fuck.
    A couple of days after we came back to the Island he finished his career left the Andrew, and pissed off with a Canadian heiress he met in France. I had a letter from his wife, who had got my home address from one of her daughters bridesmaids, asking if I knew where he was. He must have been more "jack" than we thought at the time.
    I never heard a word about him again.
  15. DO. Grabs me and two other Killicks and tells us he wants a job doing,"Get a Pantec and pick us up in N£%****y and dont worry I`ll sign your chits for an over 8." This we do and go to a swanky furniture shop in the westend of London, me in the back as theres only room for 3 in the cab. Fill it up with furniture and back we go. Get to his gaff, a lovely ginger bread cottage with big "English country garden" grounds,move the gear into his house. His Mrs asks if we would like a drink?,Red hot day, sweating our cobbs off, what do you think?not half , yes please says we "Tea,coffee or water?" says the ugly looking witch.

    Off we go back to base, hes there the following day, us ready with the claims forms "Trip? what trip?" says he. Bastard
  16. Off thread - sorry!!

    Aye, and no mention of how bleedin' hot it was back there! I used to have to play with bits of the TA that lived there (no you daft sod, not Territorial Army - Towed Array!)

    I hated going through them there tunnel doors into the black-lands.........

    Return to thread, 2, 3. Relax
  17. My DO called me a "fcuking peasant" once in the Ops Room whilst at defence watches for all and sundry to hear.

    Thanks for that ...... "sir", but there are better ways to work out your stress. Name? Wont mention it here, but it rhymes with "Staveley" ..
    Last edited: May 19, 2011
  18. My DO on the Euryalus was a good egg. Used to get the beer in down the SR mess and knuckled the MEO in the Captains
    Cabin one Sunday evening before scran. Trouble is he didn't get promoted and I never saw him again after he left the ship
  19. I remember having a cracking DO in one ship.
    We met him ashore in a bar Hennessey road out in Honky Fid, he had all his family with him. He bought us a wet and told us we could call him Francis. Had a great time that night.
    Next forenoon, one of the baby sailors that had been there walks up to him as he stood with the Jimmy, and says "Morning Francis".
    I never saw anyone get rattled as quick as he did, ever.
    And the sprog was going round telling all who would listen, what a fuckin green rub he got.
  20. My DO on "Cherry B 73" (Gunnery Officer)(me 16 at the time) says young JS S****S would you like to accompany me to the Boat show in London next weekend we can stay at mummies house, niaive maybe but old Stan reckons he would have got back onboard with an anus like a half eaten blood orange!!

Share This Page