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A bit of regret

Alba

Midshipman
So last November I PVR’d on the 28days into Raleigh and the only reason being was missing my 3 children. Still to this day I think how great it would have been to stay and finish, I felt like I let my family down (wife was happy though, she hated me joining).

Did anyone else have some regret after leaving?
 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
So last November I PVR’d on the 28days into Raleigh and the only reason being was missing my 3 children. Still to this day I think how great it would have been to stay and finish, I felt like I let my family down (wife was happy though, she hated me joining).

Did anyone else have some regret after leaving?
So, nope. Got a decent pension.
 

slim

War Hero
The navy is not for everybody.
Since my time the ages of those joining have risen substantially.
It now seems common practice for both men and women who already have families to join.
In my day this was extremely rare, some guys I knew had kids but were not married so could not take advantage of what the service offered married men. It was normal for WRNS to leave on marriage though some stayed on.
Times change and it would seem so do problems
 

fishhead

War Hero
I was very happy in the RN right up until my children arrived into my life. I found after the first one it became more of a wrench to go back off leave and after the second one came along the thoughts about what I was missing of their early childhood convinced me I'd be happier as a civvie, so notice was served.
It's my opinion the the OP made a brave choice joining with three kids already at heel and it doesn't surprise me the novelty soon wore off.
 

soleil

War Hero
So last November I PVR’d on the 28days into Raleigh and the only reason being was missing my 3 children. Still to this day I think how great it would have been to stay and finish, I felt like I let my family down (wife was happy though, she hated me joining).

Did anyone else have some regret after leaving?

Alba

Would it be possible for you to consider joining as a Reservist at some point?
 

Alba

Midshipman
I was very happy in the RN right up until my children arrived into my life. I found after the first one it became more of a wrench to go back off leave and after the second one came along the thoughts about what I was missing of their early childhood convinced me I'd be happier as a civvie, so notice was served.
It's my opinion the the OP made a brave choice joining with three kids already at heel and it doesn't surprise me the novelty soon wore off.
I thought I would love the time away before I went!
 

Sumo

War Hero
After 24 years RN the kids, we're still at home, no problem, I found a job away, so only had to put up with them at weekends.
Just to see me off youngest got devoice and moved back in? :):(o_O
 

slim

War Hero
Solution to ALL your problems
Join Gods Branch the Fleet Air Arm.
Not too much sea time, plenty of time with the kids.
 

SheffGruff

Badgeman
So last November I PVR’d on the 28days into Raleigh and the only reason being was missing my 3 children. Still to this day I think how great it would have been to stay and finish, I felt like I let my family down (wife was happy though, she hated me joining).

Did anyone else have some regret after leaving?

I left in phase 2 and felt pretty shitty about it given I'd spent about 4-5 years looking forward to it and jumping through hoops to make it happen.

Leaving was still the right decision. My dad never attended my passing-out at Raleigh, he said he was having "bladder problems" at the time.

Whilst at Collingwood last year I learned it was prostate cancer and I've just spent the last month helping out at my parents home, whilst he has been in hospital having surgery for metastases on the spine. The last oncology meeting indicated a rare small cell cancer and his condition has deteriorated pretty quickly.

By going back to my boring old job in software I have the ability to carry on working whichever house I happen to be in. Line management are fairly understanding about using leave or flexible hours when I need to go to hospital with him or walk the dog. The higher salary means I've (re)built up some savings, which I can use to pay for all the extra costs that crop up in travel etc.

If I was in the RN there's a real possibility that all the responsibilities at home would have been dumped onto my sister and even if I was given time to support my family I'd be climbing in to debt doing it.

There were other issues - Collingwood seemed to waste a lot of time, the training pipeline looked like it was frequently disrupted (covid has left my class not much further on one year after I left from what I gather) and I had made assumptions about being in Portsmouth for shore side jobs that was plain wrong. But the risks of being deployed whilst my dad was seriously ill was the last straw.

If they keep increasing the age limits as I get older then maybe one day I'll be in a position to look at it again, but I'm a lot more wary of all the ******* about that it entails.
 

soleil

War Hero
I left in phase 2 and felt pretty shitty about it given I'd spent about 4-5 years looking forward to it and jumping through hoops to make it happen.

If they keep increasing the age limits as I get older then maybe one day I'll be in a position to look at it again, but I'm a lot more wary of all the ******* about that it entails.

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, SG. A very difficult time for all of you. Sending you comfort and strength.

How old are you now?

At some point, not now, obviously, you could look at the Reserves, while you are still thinking about the FT option.
 

SheffGruff

Badgeman
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, SG. A very difficult time for all of you. Sending you comfort and strength.

How old are you now?

At some point, not now, obviously, you could look at the Reserves, while you are still thinking about the FT option.

37.

I started my current job in September and was considering the MR, I had planned to look into it around March once I'd got through probation and things were more settled. Evidently that plan got overtaken by events...

There was also some uncertainty on what I would actually be able/want to do in the MR given the evolving branch structures, ex-reg branch entry restrictions and the limited training time available. There's a lot of discussion in forums like this that don't put the MR in a favourable light, which made me wonder if I should look at the AR or RAF instead.

That said, this really isn't a priority for me at the moment, for obvious reasons.
 

Alba

Midshipman
I left in phase 2 and felt pretty shitty about it given I'd spent about 4-5 years looking forward to it and jumping through hoops to make it happen.

Leaving was still the right decision. My dad never attended my passing-out at Raleigh, he said he was having "bladder problems" at the time.

Whilst at Collingwood last year I learned it was prostate cancer and I've just spent the last month helping out at my parents home, whilst he has been in hospital having surgery for metastases on the spine. The last oncology meeting indicated a rare small cell cancer and his condition has deteriorated pretty quickly.

By going back to my boring old job in software I have the ability to carry on working whichever house I happen to be in. Line management are fairly understanding about using leave or flexible hours when I need to go to hospital with him or walk the dog. The higher salary means I've (re)built up some savings, which I can use to pay for all the extra costs that crop up in travel etc.

If I was in the RN there's a real possibility that all the responsibilities at home would have been dumped onto my sister and even if I was given time to support my family I'd be climbing in to debt doing it.

There were other issues - Collingwood seemed to waste a lot of time, the training pipeline looked like it was frequently disrupted (covid has left my class not much further on one year after I left from what I gather) and I had made assumptions about being in Portsmouth for shore side jobs that was plain wrong. But the risks of being deployed whilst my dad was seriously ill was the last straw.

If they keep increasing the age limits as I get older then maybe one day I'll be in a position to look at it again, but I'm a lot more wary of all the ******* about that it entails.
Sorry to hear about your dad, can’t imagine what you’re going through.
 
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