50 Things Women Can't Do

The_Caretaker

War Hero
. know anything about a car except its colour

2. understand a film plot

3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

4. lift

5. throw

6. run

7. park

8. fart

9. read a map

10. rob a bank

11. resist Ikea

12. sit still

13. tell a joke

14. play pool

15. pay for dinner

16. eat a kebab whilst walking

17. pee out of a train window

18. argue without shouting

19. get told off without crying

20. understand fruit machines

21. walk past a shoe shop

22. make a decent bacon sandwich

23. not comment on a strangers clothes

24. use small amounts of toilet paper

25. let you sleep with a hangover

26. drink a pint gracefully

27. get a round in

28. throw a punch

29. do magic

30. like your friends

31. enjoy porn

32. eat a really hot curry

33. get to the point

34. buy plain envelopes

35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

38. avoid credit card debt

39. dive into a pool

40. assemble furniture

41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

42. set a video recorder

43. not try and change you

44. watch a war film

45. understand why flirting results in violence

46. spend a day by themselves

47. go to the toilet by themselves

48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

49. choose a video quickly

50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of
the above
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
Oi you cheeky sod, I can do all 40 farking 9 of them! Bloody git, well apart from number 50, I can't do that, it's a load of poo!
 

Brains

Lantern Swinger
Well JD, I'm impressed! Very impressed in fact. About some of those more than others. Good effort!
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
And there it goes...................the can of worms is now open!! [email protected] right though. whats this bollocks about men now being able to multi-task? i can watch telly, touch the missus up and drink a beer all at once!! it's all utter bollocks!!
 

signet

Midshipman
Jenny_Dabber said:
Oi you cheeky sod, I can do all 40 farking 9 of them! Bloody git, well apart from number 50, I can't do that, it's a load of poo!

Quite agree with you, no.17 would be a bit hard.
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:
 

brigham600

War Hero
nutty_bag said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:
The last bit is another area that a lot of them are lacking as well. :oops: :lol:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Jenny_Dabber said:
1. Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

2. Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

3. Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

4. Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

5. Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
1. We have to hold it to prevent you lot from switching over to bloody Trisha, Jeremy Kyle or the feckin' Living TV channel!
2. A beer or two? What lightweight are you going out with?!
3. Because we made it - same reason we stand and watch the bonfire we've just built.
4. Exactly; we're the hunter-gatherers; we go out in the car to get provisions (providing we've hidden the TV remote first). You lot stay at home and look after the kids!
5. True - don't need to; we've got women to do everything for us!

8O :lol: :wink:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
sgtpepperband said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
1. Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

2. Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

3. Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

4. Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

5. Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
1. We have to hold it to prevent you lot from switching over to bloody Trisha, Jeremy Kyle or the feckin' Living TV channel!
2. A beer or two? What lightweight are you going out with?!
3. Because we made it - same reason we stand and watch the bonfire we've just built.
4. Exactly; we're the hunter-gatherers; we go out in the car to get provisions (providing we've hidden the TV remote first). You lot stay at home and look after the kids!
5. True - don't need to; we've got women to do everything for us!

8O :lol: :wink:
Enough said!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
brigham600 said:
nutty_bag said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:
The last bit is another area that a lot of them are lacking as well. :oops: :lol:
Yeah "blow me" they can be a bit lacking in that area cant they!! :lol:
 
I believe there's at least another woman on here, other than Jenny_D who can do; 2, 8, 9, 13, 15, 22, 23, 26, 27, 31, 32, 33, 38, 41, 42, and 44. Added to that, No 3 in Jenny_D's sub list.
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
I can go 24hrs without sending a text...............I can throw a bloody good right hook and I still don't have my head up my own arse like most men do :lol:
 
The reason men don't multi-task is that they would prefer to get one job finished and correct than have 3+ jobs all half finished...
 
The_Caretaker said:
I can multi task Drink, Fart, Belch, watch tv, hog remote
Goodness the women in your life must be soooo proud of you!

My theory is that any woman who seeks to be equal to men is actually setting her sights too low.
 
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