50 Things Women Can't Do

The_Caretaker

War Hero
. know anything about a car except its colour

2. understand a film plot

3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

4. lift

5. throw

6. run

7. park

8. fart

9. read a map

10. rob a bank

11. resist Ikea

12. sit still

13. tell a joke

14. play pool

15. pay for dinner

16. eat a kebab whilst walking

17. pee out of a train window

18. argue without shouting

19. get told off without crying

20. understand fruit machines

21. walk past a shoe shop

22. make a decent bacon sandwich

23. not comment on a strangers clothes

24. use small amounts of toilet paper

25. let you sleep with a hangover

26. drink a pint gracefully

27. get a round in

28. throw a punch

29. do magic

30. like your friends

31. enjoy porn

32. eat a really hot curry

33. get to the point

34. buy plain envelopes

35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

38. avoid credit card debt

39. dive into a pool

40. assemble furniture

41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

42. set a video recorder

43. not try and change you

44. watch a war film

45. understand why flirting results in violence

46. spend a day by themselves

47. go to the toilet by themselves

48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

49. choose a video quickly

50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of
the above
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
Oi you cheeky sod, I can do all 40 farking 9 of them! Bloody git, well apart from number 50, I can't do that, it's a load of poo!
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
And there it goes...................the can of worms is now open!! [email protected] right though. whats this bollocks about men now being able to multi-task? i can watch telly, touch the missus up and drink a beer all at once!! it's all utter bollocks!!
 

signet

Midshipman
Jenny_Dabber said:
Oi you cheeky sod, I can do all 40 farking 9 of them! Bloody git, well apart from number 50, I can't do that, it's a load of poo!


Quite agree with you, no.17 would be a bit hard.
 
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Deleted 7

Guest
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:

And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:
 

brigham600

War Hero
nutty_bag said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:

And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:

The last bit is another area that a lot of them are lacking as well. :oops: :lol:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Jenny_Dabber said:
1. Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

2. Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

3. Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

4. Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

5. Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:

1. We have to hold it to prevent you lot from switching over to bloody Trisha, Jeremy Kyle or the feckin' Living TV channel!
2. A beer or two? What lightweight are you going out with?!
3. Because we made it - same reason we stand and watch the bonfire we've just built.
4. Exactly; we're the hunter-gatherers; we go out in the car to get provisions (providing we've hidden the TV remote first). You lot stay at home and look after the kids!
5. True - don't need to; we've got women to do everything for us!

8O :lol: :wink:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
sgtpepperband said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
1. Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

2. Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

3. Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

4. Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

5. Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:

1. We have to hold it to prevent you lot from switching over to bloody Trisha, Jeremy Kyle or the feckin' Living TV channel!
2. A beer or two? What lightweight are you going out with?!
3. Because we made it - same reason we stand and watch the bonfire we've just built.
4. Exactly; we're the hunter-gatherers; we go out in the car to get provisions (providing we've hidden the TV remote first). You lot stay at home and look after the kids!
5. True - don't need to; we've got women to do everything for us!

8O :lol: :wink:

Enough said!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

nutty_bag

War Hero
brigham600 said:
nutty_bag said:
Jenny_Dabber said:
Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

:twisted:

And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:

The last bit is another area that a lot of them are lacking as well. :oops: :lol:

Yeah "blow me" they can be a bit lacking in that area cant they!! :lol:
 
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