50 Things Women Can't Do

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by The_Caretaker, Nov 28, 2006.

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  1. . know anything about a car except its colour

    2. understand a film plot

    3. go 24 hours without sending a text message

    4. lift

    5. throw

    6. run

    7. park

    8. fart

    9. read a map

    10. rob a bank

    11. resist Ikea

    12. sit still

    13. tell a joke

    14. play pool

    15. pay for dinner

    16. eat a kebab whilst walking

    17. pee out of a train window

    18. argue without shouting

    19. get told off without crying

    20. understand fruit machines

    21. walk past a shoe shop

    22. make a decent bacon sandwich

    23. not comment on a strangers clothes

    24. use small amounts of toilet paper

    25. let you sleep with a hangover

    26. drink a pint gracefully

    27. get a round in

    28. throw a punch

    29. do magic

    30. like your friends

    31. enjoy porn

    32. eat a really hot curry

    33. get to the point

    34. buy plain envelopes

    35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet

    36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"

    37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates

    38. avoid credit card debt

    39. dive into a pool

    40. assemble furniture

    41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb

    42. set a video recorder

    43. not try and change you

    44. watch a war film

    45. understand why flirting results in violence

    46. spend a day by themselves

    47. go to the toilet by themselves

    48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

    49. choose a video quickly

    50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of
    the above
     
  2. I'll take you to task on that post T/C my missus is bloody good at No.8 and 28
     
  3. Oi you cheeky sod, I can do all 40 farking 9 of them! Bloody git, well apart from number 50, I can't do that, it's a load of poo!
     
  4. Well JD, I'm impressed! Very impressed in fact. About some of those more than others. Good effort!
     
  5. And there it goes...................the can of worms is now open!! [email protected] right though. whats this bollocks about men now being able to multi-task? i can watch telly, touch the missus up and drink a beer all at once!! it's all utter bollocks!!
     

  6. Quite agree with you, no.17 would be a bit hard.
     
  7. Men can not watch the TV with out hogging the remote

    Men can not watch a footie game without a beer or two

    Men have to sniff a very large and impressive sh*t

    Men always biatch about women not being able to drive

    Men can not and will not EVER be able to mutli-task

    :twisted:
     
  8. And there's the bite.....lovely :lol:

    you've demonstrated four things that men apparently can't do!! pales to insignificance compared with the 50 that have been posted!! :lol: Oh and women can't drive. They suck!! :lol:
     
  9. The last bit is another area that a lot of them are lacking as well. :oops: :lol:
     
  10. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    1. We have to hold it to prevent you lot from switching over to bloody Trisha, Jeremy Kyle or the feckin' Living TV channel!
    2. A beer or two? What lightweight are you going out with?!
    3. Because we made it - same reason we stand and watch the bonfire we've just built.
    4. Exactly; we're the hunter-gatherers; we go out in the car to get provisions (providing we've hidden the TV remote first). You lot stay at home and look after the kids!
    5. True - don't need to; we've got women to do everything for us!

    8O :lol: :wink:
     
  11. Enough said!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  12. Yeah "blow me" they can be a bit lacking in that area cant they!! :lol:
     
  13. I believe there's at least another woman on here, other than Jenny_D who can do; 2, 8, 9, 13, 15, 22, 23, 26, 27, 31, 32, 33, 38, 41, 42, and 44. Added to that, No 3 in Jenny_D's sub list.
     
  14. I can go 24hrs without sending a text...............I can throw a bloody good right hook and I still don't have my head up my own arse like most men do :lol:
     
  15. How many men have been up your arse ????? :)
     
  16. Please dont right hook me JD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-0
     
  17. The reason men don't multi-task is that they would prefer to get one job finished and correct than have 3+ jobs all half finished...
     
  18. Can we watch it next time you are having it!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  19. I can multi task Drink, Fart, Belch, watch tv, hog remote
     
  20. Goodness the women in your life must be soooo proud of you!

    My theory is that any woman who seeks to be equal to men is actually setting her sights too low.
     

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