1. Smurf sex: When you first meet & shag till you're blue in the face. 2. Kitchen sex: When you've been together only a short while, you'll shag anywhere in the house. 3. Bedroom sex: Sex is a routine & you'll only shag in bed occasionally. 4. Hallway sex: You pass in the hall & both say 'fuck you'. 5. Courtroom sex: Wife takes you to court and screws you in front of twenty strangers. Anyone got any more ? !!