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".....Crystal waters turn to dark,
When 'ere it's presence leaves it's mark,
and raging currents pound like drums,
when something wicked, this way comes..."
At which point all agreed that the Jimmys' cheese had finally slid off his cracker and decided the best course of action was to.......
 
give him a mild sedative and a course of ECT,just to see if it worked and to test the kit................................................
 
Talking about the KIT, down below in the depths of the mighty AG,Nozzer was getting ready to let hell break loose,he went to the secret compartment QXFA23,which turned out,as no doubt you know dear reader,next to 3DO mess,which is where Nutty used to hang out to sandbag the NAAFI Damager for his nutty supplies,and got the KEY,that would let loose the 100 missiles,and the long range nuclear torpedoes,he then went to his locker and removed the ships latest computer,an Amstrad 500. and plugged it in into a trailing socket that the Cheef Tiff had rigged up,while this was going on,the stokers mess was having a party and were playing a game of freckles when in walked the..................
 
She pulled the plug out of the ancient Amstrad and reconnected her hair straightener. Hig meanwhile was pulling his hair out whilst a little whitemouse scurried past. With ChiefTiff the Whitemouse rigged up another line for the Amstrad with a special plug and socket fixture that could only be used by the computer, and they went online again. Now they could finally test out that new 3D version of Uckers that had been developed by Pusser Enterprises and was playable online, thus enabling the few matelots still serving who had no idea what a Playstation was, to play traditional naval board games with oppos elsewhere.

In the meantime Randy Andy had just realised that CYS Geoff's Semaphore flags WERE the ECT delivery unit as well as being Admiral Nozzer's secret communications system - for now there were few matelots left at sea who still read the things, and Nozzer would send the signal in Danish anyway to his Danish opposite number Admiral Hvile. [The H is silent on Hv words in Danish].

All of a sudden Splasher and Dinger popped their heads through the hatch into compartment QXFA23A, Mao's cabin, which held AG's supply of condensed milk, and enquired after Admiral Nozzer. Mao led them to the adjacent compartment, it's door held open with a wedge of stale cheese, and there was Nozzer trying to remember the combination to the safe in order to retrieve the key. Mao jumped up onto his shoulder, covering it with black fur, and informed him of the combination, which he had seen when passing the Admiral's cabin a couple of day's earlier on HMS Macthingy. Nozzer immediately opened up and took the key to the Control Room and slotted it in the magic slot and hey presto, hundreds of little red LEDs started to glow through the opaque white plastic.

Cdr.Dunkers, who had just put the Skipper to bed, tucking him in after reading him his bedtime story, and was wondering if he should go on a fortnight's Part 2 training course at Raleigh during the outbreak of World War 3, suddenly said.......
 
Run Silent, Run Deep, or was that a film he saw as a boy,he couldnt make his mind up up whether or not it was a sundogers saying, or a legitimate order ,so he turned to the junior rating standing beside him, and said, What the..................
 
Hell are you smirking about,you Lower deck Oik???He took a swipe at the insuspecting and totally innocent adjacent JR and managed to dislodge the lump of wax that was residing in his starboard lughole,which had defied medical science for the last 3 months.A light was switched on in the aforesaid JR."Bollocks,i'm late for Requestmen!!Hope i get my request"He doubled away with hope shining across his little pink face..............
 
Meanwhile up forrad where the rusty anchors lived,Whitemouse was stirring from his prolonged slumbers only to find that............................
 
Not only were they underway,but under water as well,he became rather frightened and decided to write to his mummy,Dear Mumsie,he started,can you..............................
 
send me the latest edition of "Leather Skateboarders Readers wives" and a large pot of Bovril,half a pound of Peanuts and a roll of strong gaffer tape.Your loving Son,Whitemouse.
XXXXXXX


(p.s. Can you wrap the Bovril up so its disguised?The Killick of my Mess has a thing for Bovril and he will snaffle it if he gets wind)

(p.p.s Also Mummy dear can you let the Clinic know i have been given a clean bill of health)

.............................
 
It was Randy Andy who gave him a clean bill of health,what with his peniccilin etc,he also gave him one of those tube thingies up his bot to wash out the.....................
 
whereupon these "trophies" were placed in the Sickbay cabinet of Oddities and Other Interesting Objects that the QARRNS1 kept up to date.At that precise moment ex wasp was bimbling across the fightdeck when out of the corner of his eye he spied..............
 
through the corner of his eye in his frogman suit,he spied the Jimmy checking the hull for barnacles, FF had told him that they made a good meal, when mixed with Branflakes,hed already filled a bucket full,and was proceeding to the after liftwell,when an enormous Great White crossed his path. Thinking quickly he.......................................
 
noticed that there was a bulge in his frogman suit and an odd niff was creeping upwards towards his delicate nostrils.He thought that this was neither the time nor the place to make it known that he had realised that Adrenaline was liquid and brown.despite this set back he decided......................
 

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