Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough > pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at >the bar. > > The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. > > Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. > > Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker. > > Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! > > The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets >the >better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees >that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get >the better of the builder. > > Phil: - Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering >what you do for a living? > > Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession. > > Phil: - Oh ! What's that then? > > Suit: - I'll try to explain by example.... Do you have a goldfish at >home? > > Phil: - Er .. mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens! > > Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a >pond. Which is it? > > Phil: - It's in a pond! > > Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden >then? > >Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden! > >Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a >large garden then you have a large house? > > Phil: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house...built it myself! > > Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical >to >assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite >probably married? > > Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children. > >Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with >your wife on a regular basis? > > Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week! > > Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate >very >often? > > Phil: - Me? Never > > Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work! > > Phil: - How's that then? > > Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you >about >your sex life! > > Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate! > > Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate. > > Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? > > Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist! > > Eric: - What's that then? > > Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? > > Eric: - Nope > > Phil: - Well then, you're a ******.