First, I have not been in your situation, second, I am not a psychologist or whatever.
You won the chance to do arguably one of the most responsible jobs in the RN, then bottled it at the 11th hour. That sounds to my untrained ear like a bit of a panic attack.
Now, imagine RN plc's situation if they take you back and train you up, only for you to throw a wobbly as you are landing an aircraft? It would be a big no from me - though other less taxing RN careers are available.
Edited to add - and did you not pay attention to PERSEC? I'd change that name if I were you...... unless iot isn't your real name.
Somebody, possibly called Joe Mitchell, was asking what would happen if he re-applied, after refusing to sign on (Day 1, Week 1?) after having a moment of 'uncertainty'. He had been accepted as an AC, so I merely pointed out that if I was RN plc and he panicked abput signing on, then I might be concerned about him landing aircraft.
I also pointed out that his PERSEC was potentiially utter bollox!