16 Year Old Wanting To Join RN But Parents Are Apprehensive. HELP!

#1
I'm 16 and currently in my final year in school in the North of England. I really want to join the Royal Navy as a Marine Engineer when I leave school but my mother, who I live with, isn't entirely convinced as she thinks it's something I have just come up with recently (which is partly true). My dad who hasn't got a problem with me joining but as I don't live with him he'd rather my mum make the decision to sign. I've spoken to her a few times about it but tonight was the first proper time we've discussed it. She kept on saying no but started to get lenient and give in toward the end. However, I don't want her to not support me in it. She keeps saying why don't I just do marine engineering in college then decide but I don't want to waste two years and not earn any money. She doesn't really like talking about it as well. Any persuasive tips? Thanks
 
#2
Maybe show her all the benefits etc.. the pension for example and stuff like that and that you also gain qualifications in the navy while being paid.
Every mum would be apprehensive.
Ps I'm also 16 mate I've been through it all with parents aswell..
I start Raleigh in April and now my parents are fully supportive and pleased.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#3
Best bet is to ask your Mum to accompany you to the careers office to just watch a careers presentation (they take place regularly, just ask if you may come along to see what it is about).

There's no obligation to join, but if you've not long decided on this career then it makes sense to find out more.

Similarly, your Mum needs to know what it's all about before she can make an informed decision about whether or not she approves of your decision. You'll find parents have loads of questions which you may not have even considered.

Ultimately, if you join under age 18, you need thr signed consent of the parent or guardian you live with - don't switch parents, just ask them to make an informed decision...much the same as you need to also.

If you join, you'll still carry on with your education, learn the job, travel & gain the experience and transferable skills that make you very much more employable in the civilian workplace than if you had just gone to college to earn the same qualifications.

Good luck, there's no rush, you need to know the facts before making the leap of faith and hopefully, Mum will think it's not a bad idea after all.
 
#4
Remind her that once you've gone she's got a spare room to rent out, less washing and ironing (you can now do that) and less cooking.

There's always a silver lining :)
 
#5
I entered Raleigh less than a month after turning 17, however, joining the RN was something I'd always wanted to do and in those far off days, it was much easier! My father was the problem, as he was MN and wouldn't sign - like you, he suggested college etc. In the end my mother signed.

My reason was to get away and see the world while getting paid - ticked that box!

For you the following to think about.
What is employment like in your area?
As above, share the AFCO stuff with mum.
Have you thought about what you want to do in the RN?
Sounds stupid, but crack on at school educationally - every qualification you gets helps in and out the RN.
Get physical. Even if you don't get in the RN, it won't hurt, well, not much!
Try joining your local/nearest Sea Cadet unit - even at 16 - for some nautical experience.
Failing that and if no joy from parents, try the RNR (I have no idea what the minimum entry age is)
Edit: Start your own ironing, washing, bed making etc - personal maintenance!

Hope this helps!


Mum of REAL - as I said to my folks, it is MY life............. :mad:
 
#6
If she's worried about it at all then as others have said, a visit with you to the AFCO is best.

For yourself; I wouldn't want to put you off the idea, but it's not the end of the world if you wait a couple of years. I joined at 18 after having worked in civvy street for a couple of years and personally I'm glad I did. I knew what was out there for me if I decided to jack it in. Equally, my son joined in 2017 and he had a 16 year old in his class who smashed it and loved every minute of Raleigh.

Another place she may be able to talk it over is on a Facebook group call 'HMS Raleigh Families (and phase two & beyond)'. A number of the Mums on there have had kids join at 16, she may be able to get some objective advice from Mums that have been in the same situation.
 
#7
Just gonna say, with the wait times (I don't know what they are now) and the chance you might not get in, it's probably worth considering further education.

Perhaps you can use it as a compromise with your mum. You'll go to college or 6th form whilst your application is in, and make a decision if and when you pass the recruitment stages. Who knows, you might decide to get your A levels and try for a commission instead.
 
#8
Not often I agree with Zoid ;) but in this case.......

My tale. Always wanted to be a 'sailor' so pootled off to the office. I was quite bright, so they sat me down and gave me an Apprentice Entry exam. I passed, got a start date at Fisguard and everything.
Back at the school and Sea Cadet Unit, everyone was amazed -' You, an Apprentice? But you HATE school'
Me, 'nope, I'm going to be a sailor.'
Them, 'but it is another 4 years at school' (albeit getting paid!)
So as I hated school, off I pootled to the office again, where I was told 'weeeeelllllll it isn't ALL school.'
That was it, stupidly dropped that choice and asked what else there was. Ended up as a Seaman. Now don't get me wrong and I had a ball, but it wasn't very cerebrally challenging! Ended up changing to Electrical. Long story short, 23 years later ended up where I would (possibly) have been anyway, but taking a MUCH longer time to get there!

Point is, the better your school and or college results, the more doors are open for you. If you want something and feel held back, but somebody says they are as thick as poo, yet they managed to do it then JUST GO FOR IT!
 
#12
I was a few days over 17 when I joined up, my parents were totally supportive (I had been in the Sea Cadets for years).

As @Ninja_Stoker says, take your mum along to the careers office it may just put her mind at rest. Once you're out in the fleet she will be as proud as punch :)
 
#13
My tale. Always wanted to be a 'sailor' so pootled off to the office. I was quite bright, so they sat me down and gave me an Apprentice Entry exam. I passed, got a start date at Fisguard FISGARD and everything.
Back at the school and Sea Cadet Unit, everyone was amazed -' You, an Apprentice? But you HATE school'
Fixed - no charge.

Seriously though, I joined at about 16 1/2 years old as an apprentice. Joining age for apprentices was 16 to 21 and therefore there were many who had been to collage prior to joining,
I often wondered if I should have gone to collage first (mainly because I wasn't allowed in the bar!) but apart from being slightly young and immature it was not a problem.
I took the chance when it was presented but everyone is different.
My parents backed me to the hilt - it was only when my mom and gran started crying on the platform at Brum station that I realised she didn't really want me to go. 4 weeks later and our passing-in parade (did that in Fisgard) and she was there - proud as punch.
 
#15
Fixed - no charge.

Seriously though, I joined at about 16 1/2 years old as an apprentice. Joining age for apprentices was 16 to 21 and therefore there were many who had been to collage college prior to joining,
I often wondered if I should have gone to collage college first (mainly because I wasn't allowed in the bar!) but apart from being slightly young and immature it was not a problem.
I took the chance when it was presented but everyone is different.
My parents backed me to the hilt - it was only when my mom and gran started crying on the platform at Brum station that I realised she didn't really want me to go. 4 weeks later and our passing-in parade (did that in Fisgard) and she was there - proud as punch.

Fixed - no charge...........;)
 
#17
Not often I agree with Zoid ;) but in this case.......

My tale. Always wanted to be a 'sailor' so pootled off to the office. I was quite bright, so they sat me down and gave me an Apprentice Entry exam. I passed, got a start date at Fisguard and everything.
Back at the school and Sea Cadet Unit, everyone was amazed -' You, an Apprentice? But you HATE school'
Me, 'nope, I'm going to be a sailor.'
Them, 'but it is another 4 years at school' (albeit getting paid!)
So as I hated school, off I pootled to the office again, where I was told 'weeeeelllllll it isn't ALL school.'
That was it, stupidly dropped that choice and asked what else there was. Ended up as a Seaman. Now don't get me wrong and I had a ball, but it wasn't very cerebrally challenging! Ended up changing to Electrical. Long story short, 23 years later ended up where I would (possibly) have been anyway, but taking a MUCH longer time to get there!

Point is, the better your school and or college results, the more doors are open for you. If you want something and feel held back, but somebody says they are as thick as poo, yet they managed to do it then JUST GO FOR IT!
Well, it's been a few years and I've grown up (older?)



@REAL_db Have you been to an AFCO yet?
 
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#18
Update: Thanks for all your comments and support. She seems ok with me joining now as she started speaking about it today because she spoke to one of her friends who knows two people (age 17) who are at HMS Dalriada (Glasgow). She said that’s not too far away compared to Raleigh at the bottom of the country. However I told her I have to be at Raleigh. She seems a lot less reluctant now so I need to make her 100% happy with me applying and possibly going to Raleigh! :)
 
#20
Hah, Scottish mothers........

But they are right about cracking on at school/college - get the best results you possibly can and begin a fitness regime too.
She’s not Scottish haha but we’re near Newcastle. I already go to the gym 5-6 times a week and run often. I’m a cyclist too
 

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