101 uses for a John Prescott

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by imom1406, Aug 15, 2006.

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  1. In light of the changing role of our Deputy Prime Minister, i think it is time to help him with new carreer choices.

    1-Splash Target
    2-Damage Control Plug for direct torpedo hits.
    3-Sea Anchor

    I leave the rest to you!
  2. 1 I dont think he would make enough splash, apart from entry to the water

    2 He is bound to be the wrong size for the actual hole you get

    3 He may be a drag in politics but I think he would float to high in the water to be any value.

  3. Ships Protection Team particularly at the front, Im sure he'd provide excellent cover to hide behind...!!
  4. OK, how about a Type 23 fender?
  5. 4: Sentry on Main Gate into South Lebanon.

    5: Figure head on newest Submarine (though could cause trim problems, might need to put Margaret Becketts caravan on the back to even thinngs up)

    6: Act as practice dummy to enable the Old Bill to practice use of Reasonable Force when enforcing ASBO

    7: If he floats that high inthe water pop a lamp on his head and use him as the Outer Spit Bouy he can welcome all the lads back.

  6. 8 ) Splash Target Cox'n - didn't he train as one?

    9) A Fender for an oil tanker?

    10) An environmentally friendly "steam-roller" when laying down new roads?
  7. 8- Dummy for RM bayonet practice
  8. What were those Cherokee Indians called in the second world war, the ones who spoke thier native language to avoid messages getting into enemy hands?

    If we could find someone else who spoke "Prescott" we would never need crypto again!!
  9. 11) As an emergency trampolene

    12) To stopper up Mount Etna/the hole in the Ozone Layer?
  10. 13. Spokesman for Stella Artois (aka reassuringly expensive)
    14. Japanese disaster movie icon - for Godzirra, read Johnprezza
    15. Sci-Fi convention appearances as Jabber (speech & propensity for left hooks) the Hut
  11. You submariners will love this.

    JP in speedos, with a strategic hole cut out...as a deep sea submarine escape vessel..
  12. What possible emergency could there be to need to bounce up and down on John Prescott? My god, I would rather eat my own weight in chocolate chip muffins!
  13. Cant reach the biscuit barrel..!!
  14. 'Windtalkers'

    JP has enough wind, and he loves to talk (even if it is a load of carp).... :lol:
  15. Muffins not cookies
  16. I find a biscuit barrel not only good for prolonging the life of your custard creams but also keeping your muffin moist..nothing worse than a dried out muffin!
  17. That is why one should always get a freshly baked one everyday from the Muffin Shop opposite the office :lol:
  18. On seocnd thoughts maybe not such a good idea...I would imagine JP can get quite feisty at "hands to biscuit barrell!..!
  19. How sad is this! I had to check back and see who JP was, we have soo gone off thread!!
  20. Now, now... Rosina. Imagine you're a baby wafu and you need to get some flying practice in, but due to government cuts your fuel is rationed (to cover the salary cost of the Deputy PM) and the ship's only trampoline is being used as a mini awning to shelter the ship's cat and lower deck lawyer from the hot sun, then you'd need a floating Prezzer in the oggin.

    Personally I'd need no excuse to tuck into those yummy sounding muffins.


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