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10 thoughts for 2007

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.



Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.



Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.



Number 6
Some people are ...Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.



Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.



Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.



Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you £30.00?



Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2007:

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in the UK but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.


"Life is like a jar of Chilli peppers.

What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow".
 
I like the bit about the mad cow and the immigrants.

The reason we lose so many immigrants is that half the time they get released from custody with a map and a form telling them to report to an immigration procesing centre - still, they found their way to this country, they should be able to find their way to the centre shouldn't they?

I wonder why they go missing - do the government give them the opportunity ?

Nuff said ?
 
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